AIBU to expect teens to understand meal planning/prep?

[britinnyc]

I know someone posted similar about their DH last week but I am having an issue with my hungry son. We have a busy week in my house with nights where no one is home for dinner at the same time. I attempted to be organized and prep some dinners so we can heat and eat stuff as we are in and out. My teen DS has football practice at dinner time on Tuesday so he typically eats two small meals of sandwiches etc. because he doesn't want to eat a lot before and when he gets home at 9:30 he doesn't want a big meal.

Tonight I was out at a meeting so just DH was home and I came back to find that DS ate almost all of the meal I have prepared for tomorrow. I won;;t be home till 7 or later tomorrow and DH has to go out for something before that so I really wanted to have food we could all eat on our schedule. I don't have time to shop for more food tomorrow. DH thinks IBU as DS is a growing boy. I think DS should have figured out something else to eat, they both knew it was tomorrow's dinner. I'm pretty sure DH helped eat it and the dog may have benefited too. I know the kids are going to be complaining there is nothing for dinner tomorrow and DH is a terrible cook so isn't going to help matters. I fear this is only going to get worse as DS is only 13 and my other DS is 11 so they are both going to get hungrier. Do I give up and accept that meal planning is a waste and I am going to constantly have to buy more food than I ever could imagine???

Tell your DH to sort himself and the kids out tonight and that you will do the same.Get yourself a nice takeaway to eat when you get home.
Get DH involved in meal planning so that the ingredients are there for his cooking nights.During this time you must not batch cook so that he can't just defrost things for his cooking nights.
Get your son's to plan their snacks(budget).
Stick the meal/snack plan on the fridge.
If your husband doesn't cook beans on toast,if ingredients for meals are eaten,beans on toast.
13 is an age to be hungry but if there are no consequences (except for you)for being inconsiderate then he won't learn and you 11 yr old will copy.

The adults of the household should have ensured that there was a full meal (not just snacks) available for the children of the household to eat when they come back from sports practice. Of course at 13 they can cook or make snacks, but a daily proper dinner should have been available to him. It's just part of basic parenting, surely.

It sounds as though as OP was out, her DH let DS have the dinner that OP was planning to serve the following day, as there was no other proper dinner available for him, and he was hungry and wanted a full dinner. That's fine IMO, I would have done the same if I had a hungry child needing a meal, and that was the only meal available. I wouldn't say "sorry son, you're not allowed dinner tonight, you can have dinner tomorrow night instead!"

OP has had steak twice this week. This suggests that money is not so tight that they cannot ensure that a full dinner is available for every member of the family every day of the week. If he doesn't always want a proper meal, then his saved portion of the family meal can be frozen for another time or eaten for lunch,surely. If money is so tight that they cannot afford for everyone to have a full meal every day should they wish to, then stop bloody well eating steak!

I'm really struggling to understand why it is OK to tell a child who has not had dinner that they cannot eat the only dinner available in the house. Shameful.

I just don't get why people in the house can't eat what's available, as long as they fancy it.
Unless there's some specific food for a specific event, just eat whatever.
And if they end up with food from the tin cupboard today because they ate the steak yesterday, then so be it.

The saving for today is also not relevant if it's the OP who cooks all meals anyway.
It looks more to me as if there wasn't enough cooked food in the house.

Last night I left plenty of cooked food for tonight's dinner for DS and I. If he happened to eat it all at lunch time, I can't imagine me being upset.
I usually just check if there's still enough in the fridge or not. Worst case, we end up eating tinned food or an omelette.

I don't think she is being unreasonable, I think she lives with a couple of lazy, selfish males who take her for granted and tonight in her shoes, I'd be making something for me alone and they could sort them flipping selves out or go hungry!!

Yep. They were being lazy fuckers. I'd probably increase my food shop - make a meal list and pin it up where all can see it and then if there's any debate, point to the list. Can you have a "do not touch this stuff on pain of death" shelf in the fridge where you can put pre-prepped food?

GIven that you all seem busy In your shoes I'd be handing out chores such as responsiblity for meals at least to your DH.

(not sure what all the fuss about sandwiches before and after football is, i read it as DS prefers it that way - I know i don't like to do sport on a really full stomach and i don't tend to eat a huge meal when i get in after sport too)

One of my friends was in exactly this situation, she had 7 boxes in the fridge/freezer/cupboards with ingredients for meals in for each day. Anything else was fair gain, but don't touch the meal boxes

It sounds as though as OP was out, her DH let DS have the dinner that OP was planning to serve the following day, as there was no other proper dinner available for him, and he was hungry and wanted a full dinner.

But it never occurred to the lazy arse of a husband to cook a different dinner for his DS - the OP has said there was other stuff available.

But it never occurred to the lazy arse of a husband to cook a different dinner for his DS - the OP has said there was other stuff available.

No, op said there were snacks available, but no other meals. She's specially complaining that there's now nothing for dinner, and she's going to have to go out to get something. If there's a meal that could have been cooked yesterday, it could be cooked tonight. Also we're talking about left over steaks here, not a handcrafted, cooked from scratch deeply complicated meal. They were presumably cooked with the steaks served the other day, and involved no effort on anyone's part. Op was hoping to serve leftovers rather than cooking dinner, but her DS ate them for his dinner instead, which is reasonable as no other meal was available for him.

Sorry, OP, as the mum of a hungry teen I think YABU. You’re responsible for providing a meal for ds every night. Well, you and dh are! If you want your ds to start preparing food you’ll have to invest some time in teaching him and make sure he knows what to cook. Teach him to make himself a bowl of pasta.

I can’t imagine I’d be upset if my ds had eaten the steak. It would just mean that the next day was something easy like pasta or baked potatoes. Or something that can just go in the oven from the freezer.

You will have to buy more food I think, op, even if you’re on a tight budget, which you’re probably not as you’re having steak twice a week.

It's just selfish and lazy on their part.

My 15 year old went through a phase of doing this, using up things that were clearly labelled on the meal plan as being needed for later in the week. And once even eating half a pan of something I had prepared for 4 of us. It took a few weeks of me having a rant until they understood what I was on about 😂 I involve both kids with the planning and lists which helps and they have a night to cook each once a week and are frustrated if they are missing an ingredient!

Now they will ask if something is needed before they use it up, obv not things like milk and bread but they fancied butternut squash soup the other night and made sure they checked with me whether the butternut squash was lined up for another fate - my answer - check the meal plan!

I think you are unreasonable because you said there were only healthy snacks there so the only option for a proper meal for your son was the steak. I think if there were other ingredients there then your husband should be capable of sorting something, or even your son himself. But if there is nothing there and they want something substantial then there wasn't another choice. I also know what it is like when you are hungry from sport, it is already 9.30 and there isn't much around - you want something to eat then, not to go out to the shops and them home and then have to cook it.

If I have got the wrong end of the stick then I would have a different view. Your husband and sons should be capable of making a meal for themselves obviously, but can't if there is nothing there. I would make sure there were some bits there like pasta, chicken etc seperate from the food assigned to specific meals.

Your OH let / encouraged your DS to eat the steak
That's fine if the lad was hungry

It means however that OH now has to replace that meal - his turn to cook

I’d just leave them to get their own food if they’ve already eaten what you e prepared

I have read about meal prep pers who have a separate container for each meals ingredients. Containers labeled for each day of the week.
This would help family know what was available to eat ie, not in container, and what was out of bounds.
Good luck