AIBU to expect teens to understand meal planning/prep?

[britinnyc]

I know someone posted similar about their DH last week but I am having an issue with my hungry son. We have a busy week in my house with nights where no one is home for dinner at the same time. I attempted to be organized and prep some dinners so we can heat and eat stuff as we are in and out. My teen DS has football practice at dinner time on Tuesday so he typically eats two small meals of sandwiches etc. because he doesn't want to eat a lot before and when he gets home at 9:30 he doesn't want a big meal.

Tonight I was out at a meeting so just DH was home and I came back to find that DS ate almost all of the meal I have prepared for tomorrow. I won;;t be home till 7 or later tomorrow and DH has to go out for something before that so I really wanted to have food we could all eat on our schedule. I don't have time to shop for more food tomorrow. DH thinks IBU as DS is a growing boy. I think DS should have figured out something else to eat, they both knew it was tomorrow's dinner. I'm pretty sure DH helped eat it and the dog may have benefited too. I know the kids are going to be complaining there is nothing for dinner tomorrow and DH is a terrible cook so isn't going to help matters. I fear this is only going to get worse as DS is only 13 and my other DS is 11 so they are both going to get hungrier. Do I give up and accept that meal planning is a waste and I am going to constantly have to buy more food than I ever could imagine???

A child playing football and home at 9 will eat the whole fridge , let alone a sandwich. Between you, no proper meal was unreasonable, very.

Just buy more food, for heavens sake.

Your DH and his capabilities in the kitchen are a different matter.

All the people going on about how unreasonable the OP is not to have cooked a meal for her son (because he’s so sporty!) have missed the fact that he “typically eats two small meals of sandwiches etc. because he doesn't want to eat a lot before and when he gets home at 9:30 he doesn't want a big meal.”

Okay? He doesn’t usually want a big meal and chooses sandwiches.

YANBU.

Agree you should label reserved food. I get a delivery once a week. In the circumstances you have described the next night 's meal would be made from the ignored snack options - cheese on toast etc. I'll top up with bread/cereal/cheese/eggs etc but not main meals.
And give DH responsibility in this area.

Just don’t do dinner today. They can sort themselves out. Natural consequences.

Well he obviously does want a meal if hes eating one thats been left out?

At 13 I would probably assume that a meal is a meal . If you have one planned for tomorrow today you can have somethig else tomorrow. He obviously does prefer steak to samdwhiches (who wouldn't?!)

My sporty 13 year old eats a big breakfast, big cooked lunch in school, and on nights when he trains early, something like sandwiches, soup, egg on toast before and after training. Just like the OP’s.

You need to have a formal family meeting OP and explain about meal planning and make it clear what is off limits.

Some posters on here obviously work on an unlimited budget, where steak left in the fridge is fair game for snacking. Lucky them, but a bit daft for them to assume everyone’s family is the same.

SquashedFlyBiscuit

But usually he doesn’t. What’s the OP meant to do, cook just in case he wants a meal?

Yanbu they knew it was for dinner today and ignored that.
Teen boys have hollow legs though they just cant be filled up so I feel your pain on that one.
Pasta, pizza, toastie, savoury scones can all be made quickly and cheaply so I try to always have some available for them.

I know this is a bit different as my DC are much younger but we have one specific cupboard that has all the food that they can help themselves to without messing up meal plans and 1 drawer on the fridge with their food that won't mess up packed lunches or dinners, with stuff like extra cheese, yogurts etc in. Could something like this work?

It's pretty rare to encounter a teen who fully gets the idea of delayed gratification, I think – especially a hungry teen

I fear this is only going to get worse as DS is only 13 and my other DS is 11 so they are both going to get hungrier. Do I give up and accept that meal planning is a waste and I am going to constantly have to buy more food than I ever could imagine???

There is DEFINITELY going to be some of that happening! DSS got through 3 entire cartons of milk yesterday (growth spurt, incoming!).

Buckle in!

How terribly greedy. He hasn’t just eaten his own dinner, he’s eaten his siblings dinner too. I’m afraid I’d say there’s no dinner, blame DS1 for being greedy and let his siblings deal with him. I certainly couldn’t afford to provide a new dinner for everyone if one greedy person ate everyone’s portions.

Sorry but YABU as it sounds to me like you are simply not buying in enough food for teenage needs. I had four teens at once and it is true they can eat and guzzle their way through masses of food and still be skinny beanpoles.

ds(15) wouldn't touch something that was obviously dinner, but there is always enough available for him to make/eat. Just now mostly based around tins of tuna, pasta, cheese, toasties, wraps, salad, cooked chicken, eggs (omelette, scrambled, poached, boiled), soup then bananas/apples/cereal bars etc.

I think if there are plenty of alternatives that he can do himself, that if he eats a planned meal, it's his job to go out and buy another. Theres being hungry and needing food (fine) but choosing to eat someone elses meal instead of fixing yourself something quick (not fine). Do you have a shopping list / whiteboard etc. In the kitchen where you can all write down things as they run out? If not get one, or give him access to online shopping app to put things that have run out. Or even have somewhere in the kitchen to put empty packaging so that you know what's run out. Again if this isn't done it's his job to cycle to the shop for milk etc

People will snaffle whatever is ready to eat. They might want carrot sticks, but unless one is peeled and cut up for them, nope. Same with melon. Leave a whole one safe in the fridge for a year (Exaggerating a tad) but cut it up and deseed it, and it will go in seconds. A lovely steak already cooked - yeah, that'll evaporate. They would not have considered it had it been raw.
Maybe get a magnetic whiteboard - Asda do them for about £3 - and put it on the fridge with your what to eat when plan.
If they can see it is for tomorrow, then this might not be repeated.
Or at least TELL them what is off limits.
But yes, you will need to get more food for teen boys.

Growing up with 4 brothers was a nightmare, as soon as my mum has been shopping they would literally eat it all l! My mum used to make a big tray of lasagne, a tray of macaroni cheese and a tray of chicken pasta bake each week for them to 'snack' on, and this helped them to not eat what was planned for dinner/ putting a whole pack of ham into one sandwich etc.

@Bubblysqueak that's a really good idea

Yes, teenagers get hungry, but eating tomorrow's dinner is completely unacceptable. If their father encouraged and participated too then they'll think its fair game and it will happen again. I would have hit the roof and without a doubt I would be expectimg your DH to rectify the situation. I have 3 teenage/adult sons and they eat a huge amount, but they've never done anything like that!

Things I have available for snacks are:

Fruit
Bread
Muffins
Crumpets
Soup (tinned or fresh)
Sandwich fillings
Pasta/pesto
Baked beans
Noodles
Tuna
Eggs
Generally there's a cake in the tin too, although they only get 1 slice a day.

They're welcome to any (or all!) of these things at any time, but food set aside for family meals is off limits. Your DH needs to participate in meal planning and preparation unless you're happy for your boys to be similarly helpless.

So what had the rest of you had for dinner? Why was DH so hungry?

I agree with others - teen boys eat - a lot! Always have extra available.
Label anything that you don't want eaten and/or specifically do want eaten.

If you meal plan so tightly, was there actually anything else available that your DS could have eaten if the sandwiches weren't enough?

When my DCs are in and out at awkward times, I always make a meal that can either be kept hot, or is suitable for microwave re-heating later. I love my slow cooker as everyone can help themselves when they are ready to eat. Even my DD wouldn't be happy with a plate of sandwiches!

To be fair, it doesn't sound as though the DS ate the steak as a snack - he didn't actually have any dinner (my DCs would see the sandwiches as a snack!).

Freeze anything you prep ahead. It will be too much bother to cook.

Have a cupboard with things anyone can snack on, fruit, cereal, hot pots, tinned tuna.

If you have room get a second fridge (second hand they are not expensive) and have that for snacks, main fridge out of bounds unless you are there.

So if steak was for Wednesday what was for Thursday? Eat Thursdays on Wednesday.

YAB massively U

if you have a husband and teen boy at home and have absolutely no contingency plan in your fridge/freezer. It's his home, people get hungry, they eat.

I can't comprehend these people who ban their family from eating what they want, they are not your roommates.

Yes, you restrict sugar and rubbish, but actual food? Ridiculous. If there are meals in the fridge, they are to be eaten. Who cares if it's Tuesday not Wednesday.

Have to say, my 13 year old is 5’10”, plays football and runs to a high standard; does a paper round on his bike every morning; he’s either training or competing 5 or 6 days a week and he eats a bit more, but he’s not like, insatiable. He’d never eat a plate of steak out of the fridge or drink 3 cartons of milk in a day. He’s slim but not skinny. These stories of hungry teens are quite surprising to me.

Tinkly, he probably hasn't hit that growth spurt phase. They all differ, but mine started about 14-15 in earnest, until 20.