I fell off the edge of the earth once. I was on a raft I made myself out of some wooden pallets abandoned in the alley. (Got the design from Instructables. I made a good solar oven with the leftover wood, too; covering it in tin foil generates heat by reflecting the sun, and you can use the scraps for a hat.) I wanted to find out for myself if the earth was round or flat. Seems absurd to believe the ancient Greeks! After all these years! How stupid and gullible can you get.
I took my cat Eratosthenes with me in a sack and paddled as far out into the ocean as I could go. Out of nowhere I heard the sound of rushing water. The ocean was falling off the edge of the Earth, and no matter how hard I paddled against it, it took me with it. Luckily for me the wind pushed me under the earth as the water rushed by, and I managed to grab hold of a C-pipe that was sticking out, and climbed up a long, steep ladder to a sewer cover and climbed back up onto the top of the planet, soaking wet and minus my raft. I had lost track of the cat in my panic, but when I emerged on the top, blinking in the sun, there he was, casually licking his fur and looking as if he'd never left the top of the planet. Meanwhile, everyone looked at me as if I were crazy!
Next I'm going to go to the moon to harvest as much cheese as I can before the Chinese get it all. They've set up a cheese mining operation on the dark side of the moon so no one can see what they're doing. This is a fact, BTW. www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-china-46746092
Once they control all the cheese, they'll triple or quadruple the price. I'm planning on stockpiling mine until that happens, so I can sell for a huge profit. Anyone want to join me? You can send me your investment money via paypal. Should be a safe bet, if I can control the mold. The moon is a sterile environment, which is why it doesn't go bad. Earth is not....