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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Girls Holiday when first child 9 months old

93 replies

MarshmallowsOnToast · 11/02/2020 13:50

AIBU (or crazy!) to even be considering going on a girls trip when my first born will be 9 months old?

It's not a wild booze weekend or anything. It's a sightseeing trip to Iceland with 3 close friends for a big Birthday celebration.

4 nights Thurs - Sunday.

The angle I'm coming from is would you have felt ready to leave your DC for that length of time at that age? No worries about having childcare. Might be breastfeeding or night not depending how I get on. But could I bring myself to leave him for so long?! I'm not sure!

What would you have felt at that age?

Thanks

OP posts:

Original poster

MarshmallowsOnToast · 11/02/2020 13:51

Forgot to add, my partner is happy if I want to go.

OP posts:

PooWillyBumBum · 11/02/2020 13:52

I would totally go! I think I went on my first holiday alone when DD was around 10 months. Yes, I missed her, but I really bloody enjoyed the holiday.

RhymingRabbit3 · 11/02/2020 13:53

I wouldnt have left mine for that long at 9 months. One night would have been fine, but not 4. Also if you do end up breastfeeding it could affect your milk supply and/or you would need to pump a lot to prevent engorgement and discomfort.

cocomelon23 · 11/02/2020 13:54

I wouldn't have done it no but everyone is different

Durgasarrow · 11/02/2020 13:54

If you want to go, go!

TheMustressMhor · 11/02/2020 13:54

I would not have been able to leave a baby that young myself.

If you're breastfeeding (I was) you definitely won't be able to.

beggingforsleep · 11/02/2020 13:57

I couldn't... I tried with my first when she'd be around 9 months but bottled it. Think she was about 20 months before we left her and that was just for a night. Now she's two and half I wouldn't have any problem with it but now we have a second.

But plenty of people do! A friend is going to a spa this weekend for two nights and her baby is the same age as my second (7 months). I'm very jealous, would love a break, but again I don't think I could just yet.

You might just have to wait and see.

Northernsoullover · 11/02/2020 13:57

Yes I would have gone if I'd had the chance.

Original poster

MarshmallowsOnToast · 11/02/2020 13:59

They are all ready to book & it's a package so I'm not sure I could just add on later as they'd book a triple room if I say no.

OP posts:

gracepoolesrum · 11/02/2020 13:59

My DD is 10mo and I reckon I'd be able to do that although max 2 nights would be preferable. But everyone's different, I know someone who went on a hen do abroad when theirs was 4mo which I couldn't have done. You won't know how you feel until the time comes!

LoisLittsLover · 11/02/2020 14:00

I was happy to leave dc at that age eg to go to the cinema, or for them to be at my parents and us stay at home. But I wouldn't have been comfortable with being a flight away. Dd was 4 when we went to Dublin and that was a bit wobbly for both of us g could have gone to Spain or Holland but they both felt too far.

Amys136 · 11/02/2020 14:00

I left my 9 month old for one night recently. She was fine the first day I was away and overnight. But partner said she was out of sorts the second day till I came home. Then she was up every 30 mins for 4 hours that night, almost like she was checking I was still there. I think anymore than 1 night would of been too long for her

LoisLittsLover · 11/02/2020 14:01

Sorry, just seen that it's 4 nights and no way. Dh works away sometimes and I see the upset and fallout that this causes both of my dc so no way could I do that to them

hammeringinmyhead · 11/02/2020 14:02

Nope. I might be able to when ours is about 18 months (he is 15 months).

SueEllenMishke · 11/02/2020 14:03

I've been leaving DS regularly sine he was 10 months for similar trips.I absolutely would go....Iceland is bloody fab too.

ASundayWellSpent · 11/02/2020 14:03

I wouldn't but absolutely think it depends on how you feel, and many other individual factors

LBOCS2 · 11/02/2020 14:04

I went back to work when DD1 was 9mo, so I didn't see that much of her during the week anyway. I would have gone at that age, except I was still BF and I think I would have struggled not feeding her (she still fed mornjng/evening and sometimes overnight). But yes, in theory, I would have gone.

GiGi18 · 11/02/2020 14:04

Tricky one! When I was pregnant I thought I would be fine with stuff like this but now my DD is 7 months I know I wouldn't be able to do it in 2 months time. If you do breastfeed it may be difficult to leave the baby depending on whether or not they take a bottle. My daughter won't take one at all. So you'd need to work on that from early on probably. I also just don't think I would want to leave her for that long, breastfeeding aside, as my baby doesn't settle well for anyone else. I've even had to cut nights out etc short because she won't settle. I never thought I'd be that kind of mum but here I am 😂 is there a way you can wait till your baby is born and then decide or do you need to book now?

Kennebunkport · 11/02/2020 14:04

I'm leaving my DD who is 9 months for one night and I'm already stressing out. She's been struggling with illness and the thought of not giving her mummy cuddles is awful. I know she'll be fine, but it's tough. There is no way I could leave for 4 nights. Could you book your place at a later date? You won't know how you'll feel/what's possible until you're in the the thick of it.

speakout · 11/02/2020 14:06

Not a chance in hell.

Some mothers may be happy doing this- others not.

My babies would not have been happy and I would not have enjoyed being away from them for 4 days while they were so small.
I would be unable to enjoy the holiday.

Other mothers will feel differently.

I am guessing your baby is not born yet OP?

It will be impossible to predict how you feel.

sugarbum · 11/02/2020 14:11

It depends on you, and it depends on the baby. There is no way on earth I could have left DS1 for that long. He would have been completely distraught. DH wouldn't have coped either but that's another story.
I'm afraid there isn't any way of knowing until the time comes (I had a hen weekend away booked when he was 6 months old. I couldn't go)

Becca83 · 11/02/2020 14:12

Honestly, no. I couldn't leave mine that young, I dont think I left my eldest until she was closer to 3.
My youngest is only 5 months and still bf, so we are a long way off yet.
Only you can make the choice though and you are unlikely to know how you feel until baby is here.

InDubiousBattle · 11/02/2020 14:15

I definately wouldn't have at that age, mine are 4 and 6 and I wouldn't chose to leave them for 4 nights now tbh. Lots of my friends have always been ok leaving their dc though, and from being younger than 9 months, it's hard to tell how you'll feel op. If it's expensive and would be very inconvenient to cancel I wouldn't commit.

HiDiddleDeeDee · 11/02/2020 14:17

I think it would be too soon for most but also have friends that have left 3 month old overnight. I left my first at 18 months for 2 nights. Was only a drive away but both toddler and me found it a bit much if I’m honest.

Original poster

MarshmallowsOnToast · 11/02/2020 14:20

@speakout no not born yet DD is 12th May.

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