Girls Holiday when first child 9 months old

[MarshmallowsOnToast]

AIBU (or crazy!) to even be considering going on a girls trip when my first born will be 9 months old?

It's not a wild booze weekend or anything. It's a sightseeing trip to Iceland with 3 close friends for a big Birthday celebration.

4 nights Thurs - Sunday.

The angle I'm coming from is would you have felt ready to leave your DC for that length of time at that age? No worries about having childcare. Might be breastfeeding or night not depending how I get on. But could I bring myself to leave him for so long?! I'm not sure!

What would you have felt at that age?

Thanks

i wouldn't - but that's me. My kids are 6 and 4 now and in May ill be leaving them for 4 days. If your comfortable, then go for it! :)

If you haven't yet then leave them for one night first and see how you feel but you will get some on here who couldn't POSSIBLY imagine leaving them and some that can (like me, as I did!). Me and my DH left our toddler DD last year with grandparents for 5 nights when we went to the states for a wedding. I also left her for one night when she was 3 months, just a night out with the girls away but it was fab and I felt like me again and not mummy.

You will find mums fall into one or the other so only you can decide.

We left our 1st born with mil for 3 nights when she was 7 weeks old...for my brothers wedding. Docs advised me not to take her on a short flight without her Injections. Cried whole time. Didn't leave her again until my hen weekend she was 1 by then. No issues from me then

I personally wouldn't have been ready for four nights then. Maybe one night. But everyone is different. I will say that prior to her arrival I didn't think I'd be that bothered and had semi-arranged three nights away when she was about eight months, but I ended up cancelling. Until they're here, I don't think you can really know how you'll feel.

Impossible to know how you will feel, I would have done it easily, but everyone's different. My DS & DH have the most fabulous relationship and I think that's got quite a lot to do with the amount of time they spent together. Although I was SAHM for my DS's first 12 years I never thought of myself as the 'primary' caregiver.

I would, and did. My DM looked after DD overnight when she was two weeks old as I was just so tired/down. Helped loads to get a break and a full nights sleep! DPs continued to look after DD regularly and she is so close to my DM now, it's lovely. No qualms at all about leaving baby with their Dad either.

However, DS would not stay with anyone and just cried, but he slept well so it wasn't so much of on issue.

Nine months will be fine IMO as long as you practice beforehand to get baby used to you not always being there.

I couldn't have. I know some people do but not me.

Go for it! We left DS at 9 months for 5 nights with grandparents and it was absolutely fine! He didnt even seem to miss us, but hes a sociable wee thing and loves being passed around people!

4 nights at 9 months. Yes, absolutely. Having the trip to look forward to will get you through the months leading up. If you want to go, go a d don’t ask advice from friends and family, you’ll come across people who will try and make you feel guilty/they haven’t left their children overnight in 20 years!/don’t even go out to dinner without them, etc.

I did 2 nights in the UK when my child was 9 months. One of the reasons I accepted was because if I felt I wanted to get home for any reason I was a two hour drive away. I was also breastfeeding only so I had to ensure I could express and store enough milk for my absence.
I had the best time ever and loved every second despite missing her.

I was still breastfeeding mine at that age and would not have wanted to leave them for that long. I'd left them both for one night by then and that was plenty. Saying that, they're 4 and 6 now and I've only left them for 2 nights now and that's enough. I think your baby will be fine though and there's nothing wrong with it, just wouldn't be for me.

I did two nights away at that age which was fine. Really did miss DS towards the end though. Four nights would have been too much for me but everyone is different.

I did and it was absolutely fine. It’s personal and each to their own. I personally think it does you good to have me time away from mum time- helps you keep your sense of self and identity other than mum. Enjoy

I couldn’t for that long , not because I think it’s wrong , I would’ve just missed her .
A night was fine but I wouldn’t have liked longer .
Thing is , you won’t know until baby gets here how you’ll feel about leaving them

I did my first trip away with friends when my eldest was four and my youngest two (three nights) and a few months before that I went away with my husband for one night.

Everyone is different, but I couldn’t have done it, not least because DS1 was incredibly fussy his entire first year due to silent reflux.

No I wouldn't of.

I left my child for a long weekend away for my honeymoon when she was 20 months old and spent nearly the whole time miserable because I missed her so much. Turns out I was, unbeknown to me, pregnant with my second child at the time though, so it was maybe the hormones making me more emotional than usual. I honestly don't think I could leave a 9 month old for longer than a night or 2 though.

My baby wouldn't take a bottle at that age so I wouldnt have been able to go, if she had then I would have had no issue.

Definitely go!

Do it. I’d do it now if I could and my dd is 6 months

If I were you I wouldn’t book it, because, until baby is here, you have no idea whether you will be able to leave them or not. And, if you decide to breastfeed, it may not be possible to go away for that length of time.

I couldn’t have done it for 4 nights at 9 months. Actually, DS was 18 months the first time he stayed over with his grandparents, and I found the one night difficult. I also breastfed, and DS wouldn’t accept a bottle, so I wouldn’t have been able to leave expressed milk for him in any event.

You could always book onto the holiday at a later date surely?

I was bottled feeding by that stage and I imagine if you knew you were going you would stop at six/seven months to avoid any issues.

But even then I'm not sure I would have left him for four nights. When he was 2 I went to the US for a couple of work trips and he wasn't very well while I was away on one of them. After I knocked on my (female and a mum) boss's door with tears streaming down my face she told me to fly home a day early.

Iceland is closer than west coast US but even so, I think 2 nights would be enough. Does it have to be Iceland, could it be somewhere like the Netherlands or France so you can get back if needsbe?

I know you said they'll book a triple room if you don't book now but surely it wouldn't that hard to undo a booking for one room and book for two if you decide later you do want to go?

9 months is a big time for separation anxiety so your child may be extremely upset. My DS would have been beside himself for one night never mind 4. I would swerve it. Unless you can afford to say goodbye to the money whether you go or not?

I wouldn’t have (both DDs breastfed at that point). Think it would have been a recipe for mastitis.

My DD did, when hers were younger. She pumped and pumped again when she was away.

I know as many women who has, as hasn't left their babies. I don't see any difference in their bond etc.

But you don't know what is going to be right for you until your baby is here.