Girls Holiday when first child 9 months old

[MarshmallowsOnToast]

AIBU (or crazy!) to even be considering going on a girls trip when my first born will be 9 months old?

It's not a wild booze weekend or anything. It's a sightseeing trip to Iceland with 3 close friends for a big Birthday celebration.

4 nights Thurs - Sunday.

The angle I'm coming from is would you have felt ready to leave your DC for that length of time at that age? No worries about having childcare. Might be breastfeeding or night not depending how I get on. But could I bring myself to leave him for so long?! I'm not sure!

What would you have felt at that age?

Thanks

With DC1 there was no way I could’ve done: she refused to take a bottle and at 9monrha still breastfed around 6 times a day. I had to do a keeping in touch Day at work and I thought she’d maybe take a bottle when she realised I wasn’t around at all but she held out and got so dehydrated she went all floppy: very scary!
With DC2 absolutely could do it and would if I had the offer from friends: he’ll take a bottle and settles at night just as well for DH as he does for me. Unfortunately it’s difficult to predict what ‘type’ of baby you’re going to get!

Go, enjoy it. It's not likely to have any affect on your relationship with DC apart from them being a bit clingy when you get back.

My MIL loves telling the story of a friend who’s DH got offered a 3 month post in Las Vegas when their baby was 6 months: she wanted to go but didn’t want a baby cramping her style so tang social services to see if they could help. They found a foster family for her and off she went!!!! This was the early 80s mind. It does put 4 nights away into perspective tho 😂

Could you book but get cancellation insurance that way if you can’t go you won’t loose too much

Honestly op you won’t want to. 4 nights is too long. Can’t you wait until closer to the date?

Go for it OP. I left mine to go on a 7 night holiday with my friends, when the youngest was 5 weeks old.
The holiday was already booked before I fell pregnant again.
My husband was more than happy to see to the kids so I could recharge my batteries.

Personally I would book it if you can afford the financial hit if you decide you desperately dont want to go at the time.
Personally I could have gone at 9 months, but had a brilliant DH who I have no worries leaving DC with and a amazing DM who was a absolutely godsend when I just needed a night to pull myself together.
Problem is you cant really predict how you will feel or what will happen. You may breastfeed or you may be unable to (a close friend of mine was unable to as much as she wanted). If your returning to work at 9months you may find you naturally find it easier to stop breastfeeding and move onto bottles depending on shifts anyway so it may not be a problem at that point. It's really impossible to predict

I'd have been ok to leave mine as their dad was really involved so they were very comfortable with him. But logistically I couldn't as mine loved breastfeeding and both refused bottles by 3 months old. Completely. We tried everything. I went back to work at 10 months and was still feeding first thing in the morning, straight after work, and before bed. They both weren't eating enough solids or drinking enough water at the time to sustain them.

My friend booked a holiday without her baby at 9 months and also had a bottle refuser, who wasnt interested in solids and spent the few weeks before her trip in an absolute panic about the baby.

So if you're planning on breastfeeding, I would check your baby takes bottles and if they do, book a few months before. Not now

If you would of asked me to go when I was pregnant I would of said yes in a heartbeat but the minute I gave birth everything changed. Personally I’d say no but we are all different and I don’t think you will know how you feel until after the birth.my first trip abroad after kids was when they was 2 and 5 and I cried leaving and to be honest I probably shouldn’t of gone.it gets easier when they’re older but I still would only do 3 nights and can’t wait to get home to them.

I wouldn’t now (and they are pre-teens!)

I did at that age. Totally fine. We left ours with grandparents and they were really not bothered for that length of time.

I think you know if you are the sort of person who would be happy to do this or not to ge honest.

Only issue would be around breastfeeding I guess but there are ways round it of course. The baby will be with a parent so I really cant see the issue.

Thanks for all your replies & experiences.

Yes a real mixed bag. Still undecided and I keep changing my mind every half an hour. 🤔😕

I have already commented once but basically one of the reasons I couldn't have at 9 months was the "8 month" sleep regression. He wouldn't go to sleep without 3 hours of battling and woke 3 times a night for about 2 months, sometimes refusing a bottle and only wanting breastfeeds. It wouldn't have been fair to DH who is brilliant but can't unfortunately latch him on!

Iceland is absolutely amazing!! Definitely go and don't miss this opportunity.

I went away for 4 days to Spain when DS was 5mths, I cried the night before but was completely fine once I was there. DS was of course neither distraught or able to have any concept of time at that age plus he was with his other very capable and loving parent. I was also breastfeeding and managed this fine (he did have some mixed feeding).

Hmm I couldn’t do it. I had a hen do for one night and couldn’t do it. Faked illness. And I’m so not a clingy parent. At that age though they still feel like an extension of your own body, and felt wrong for me to be separate.

Be honest. Book it but say you may bottle out. If you lose the money, so what? You’ll always pay less staying at home than going anyway, and it’s win win that way. You get to do what you feel like at the actual time.

If you book it you will make it work. But I wouldn't have wanted to with any of my 3.
I didn't want to leave them, and they were still breastfeeding at night. 2 of them took a bottle out of necessity (work) one didn't as I had a longer mat leave.
You might find that when the time comes you would rather be with your baby than your friends. I certainly did.
I first left mine overnight at 18 months, for work. It was fine because it had to be.
I first left them overnight by choice age 4, but that is perhaps later than usual.

Well no. I couldn't have left DS even if I wanted to, which I wouldn't of. He was breast fed and wouldn't take a bottle, ever.
You could book but you'd have to be ok with loosing the money if you didn't go.

I wouldn't, but only because you won't know your own feelings about leaving your then 9mth old. You may be fine, but you may hate the thought come time to leave on the trip. Too many unknowns about how your feelings may change, your DC's needs may not be compatible and your partner may be happy in theory now, but may not come the actuality.