Parter works nights and has a couple of drinks when he comes home (in the morning)

[BritneyPeedOnALadybug]

Normally I think I know where I stand on these threads but genuinely don’t on this. AIBU? Is he? Am I being too controlling?

FYI we are a gay couple, we don’t have kids or responsibilities other than work and plans, I work a 9-5 and he works 10pm-6am. It means he’s often tipsy in the morning, drinking alcoholic drinks when I’m just getting up and to me it seems weird drinking so early in the morning but he says his hours are different to mine and he’s just having a drink after work before going to bed.

Who is BU?

Vote Yes: I am BU

Or vote No: He is BU.

It's his evening when you world nights you life is upside down.

I work nightshift and have done that a couple of times, as have many people I work with.

Although I’ve never got tipsy and it’s always just a glass of wine.

Somebody did this on an episode of Doctor In The House.

(Your vote reminded me of @bestofnextdoor).

Does he go straight to bed and not drive?

I get why you think it's weird, but hes simply having a drink after work and then going to bed. You wouldnt think twice about it if he finished at 7pm and did the same.

I used to do a week of nights and my shift would quite often have drinks on a Saturday and Sunday morning. As long as it’s not affecting any other areas of life not a problem. No different to a few drinks after work for Monday to Friday people

YABU

I think it's fine, provided it's a normal amount of alcohol and he's not reliant on it. It's technically his evening time isn't it? Would you be concerned if he was drinking like this of an evening? I think that's the yardstick you have to measure it by.

@CalleighDoodle he never drives drunk!! I would have separated from him if he did that. He drinks when he gets home (alcohol in the house). It’s not even loads but I find it so strange to see someone drinking alcohol very early in the morning but he says that the morning is like his nighttime and it’s no different to me having a glass of wine after work in the evening

And he is right.

Night-shift worker here. Exactly the same shift. I come home, clean and relax with a drink or two in front of the telly some mornings. Go to bed around 9am. Get up 4-5pm. Have breakfast. Go to the library or gym. Return home and have my evening meal around 9pm. Leave for work around 9.45pm. Have my lunch (packed sandwiches, salad, soup etc) on my 'lunchbreak' at 2am.

Have you ever worked nights OP?

YABU.

I really don't understand what time of day has to do with alcohol consumption If you're not driving or working directly afterwards.
Champagne breakfast anyone?
Wine with lunch?
G&T after dinner?
Yes please

Okay, from the replies I will try and change my view and not hassle him anymore. I did get it but it just seemed weird to me but I guess it isn’t really.

It’s the equivalent of his evening and downtime before bed.

My dad used to work on the newspapers and there were a few pubs open at 5/6am around Fleet Street for those finishing their shift

It seems weird to you because you don’t do nightshift.

I personally wouldn't do this. For me, drinking is a social activity, not something I'd do alone after work (unless I'd had a particularly stressful day, but then it'd still be a rarity, not something I'd do regularly).

I used to do nights with a guy who had six cans of beer after his night duties... I used to
find it so weird. It never felt like evening to me... for a start I would only be able to manage to stay awake for an hour before dragging myself to bed. It was a bowl of crunchy nut for me then sleep. Occasionally I would hear of teams going out drinking after a night shift so I know that some people find it ok. Not for me though.

I used to work nights and would never do this. I used to crawl in to bed as soon as I got home, i’d have no life, just work and sleep. But I only worked a month on nights then month on days etc. Tbf I don’t drink after work now either!

I think it's fine. Night shift workers do everything back to front.

I've only ever done a few night shifts in my time and it's very weird. I found it quite tricky to wind down and go to sleep even though I was tired. The wine may help him feel more drowsy. I expect he's also having a dinner at 6am rather than a breakfast because for him it's the end of the day.

I work nights, and sometimes late shifts (1am finish) that turn into all nighters. I do sometimes have a glass or two of wine when I come in. Sometimes cos I fancy it, sometimes cos it helps me sleep 🤷🏼‍♀️

I used to work nights and would sometimes have an alcoholic drink before sleeping

It sounds like he is drinking quite often though? If someone drinks too much and is getting tipsy on their own that's not great whatever time they do it

I once worked nights for 6 months - 3 nights on, 3 off,12 hr shifts. Very good money (my reason for doing it and it was funding a specific area of my life) and my night shifts finished at 7.30am. Home 7.45am, glass of wine,meat in the oven,me in the bath, then my roast 'dinner' about 8.30.am. with another glass. And bed. Woke up about 2.00pm, did 'stuff' then back to work at 7.30pm. Worked for me

I can manage a glass of wine in the morning, but never a roast dinner 😂

It's his evening, so fine

Ds works nights and often has a breakfast beer, mainly in summer. Never been tipsy though, but going to bed it wouldn’t matter now and again.