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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

There's always one annoying fucker...

147 replies

SaltedPretzel · 10/02/2020 12:45

....who has to comment on what you're having for lunch!!

Work in an office full of blokes which is fine but one of them annoys the living crap out of me. He's quite a snob anyway and I'm not fond of him but he has the most annoying habit of always commenting on my lunch.

Today is spag bol - "bloody hell! That's a plate full, you're never gonna eat all that are you?"
Last week - "That's a box of salad!!" It was a fucking Tupperware box.
And so forth.

He regularly comments on the cleaner's weigh too when she has left. Bear in mind she has three young children and is at most is a size 14. Not that it's anyone else's business what size she is.

AIBU to get aggravated at this guy? Anyone else have to suffer with people like this?

OP posts:
CakeandCustard28 · 10/02/2020 12:46

I’d simply say “do you want some? Are you unable of cooking lunch for yourself to have to comment on mine every week?” Embarrass him, he’ll stop.

Original poster
SaltedPretzel · 10/02/2020 12:48

@CakeandCustard28 I'd love to say some sarky comment back to him but I always chicken out or think of something afterwards! I just find it so bloody rude.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 10/02/2020 12:49

Lunch comments don't bother me at all, I view them in much the same way as talking about the weather.

The weight comments about the cleaner are fucking rude though.

Sickandscared · 10/02/2020 12:50

Oh no I wouldn't like that. Am I reading correctly that it's the quantity of food he's commenting on?

I wouldn't bother trying to think of snark comebacks. Just calmly say "are you aware you make a remark about my lunch every day?"

balonzz · 10/02/2020 12:52

He's doing it to create (or try to create) a power imbalance, so that you're put on the defensive. He's a jerk.

Original poster
SaltedPretzel · 10/02/2020 12:54

I'm not bothered if someone comments by saying "that looks nice" or asking what it is I'm eating. But he says it in such a degrading manner and doesn't say it to any of the blokes. No one else comments. I don't eat a stupid amount of food, and generally have a healthy balanced diet.

OP posts:
Shannith · 10/02/2020 12:55

Right, well now you are prepared for the inevitable next time.

When he comments just say, "you always seem very interested in my lunch. Is there a reason?"

Then shut up. He'll squirm.

Sparklesocks · 10/02/2020 12:55

Agree, the only thing you should ever say about someone's lunch is 'that looks nice!' or 'ooh can I have the recipe?'.

I used to work with someone who was perpetually dieting so had food on the brain constantly. Every day she would comment on the array of lunches people had 'ooh that's a bit fatty' 'lots of calories there' 'I could never eat all that' 'wow that's healthier than your usual!!' etc. Exhausting. I used to dread opening up my lunch because I would see her peer over from across the desks to see what I had. I felt sorry for her in the end though, she was obsessed and clearly a bit miserable.

This guy doesn't seem specifically diet focused all the time but does seems to think everyone does want to hear what his thoughts are! Maybe you could say something back like ‘wow you’re really interested in what people eat aren’t you? you must be a nightmare in restaurants!’ etc – make it seem like he’s the odd one for being so interested.

WorraLiberty · 10/02/2020 12:56

Then you're going to have to tell him it bothers you, or he's unlikely to stop.

He sounds like a total wanker.

Blackandgreenteas · 10/02/2020 12:58

Can not stand people commenting on what I’m eating . At all! Yanbu.

Original poster
SaltedPretzel · 10/02/2020 12:59

I probably come across as sensitive and easily offended which I'm not at all, I can take banter and stuff otherwise I couldn't handle working with men. It's this ONE guy who feels the need to make comments and it's not nice when you feel like you are being judged for what you eat. I'll definitely take your advice guys and say something when he next comments.

OP posts:
kerryleigh · 10/02/2020 12:59

"I'm not eating from your fridge, what's your problem?!"
Moron

twoshedsjackson · 10/02/2020 12:59

Never mind thinking of the right answer later, pre-empt him.
Lunchtime comes, out with your lunch, go over to where he is, smile sweetly and ask if he'd like to check on your lunch to pass judgement before you begin. If he really doesn't take the hint, I guess you could thank him fulsomely for his input; knowing you have his approval makes all the difference.....
The weight comment; I agree with WorraLiberty, it's rude but you could make matters worse by dignifying it with your attention.

LGY1 · 10/02/2020 13:02

First week in new job I had a bowl of leftover pasta.
Person one commented “ooo that smells nice”
Person two turns round and comments “I don’t even have a portion that big for my evening meal!!”

I had never spoken to the woman!!
I made a point to never speak to her at all!!
Although she spent a lot of time saying how she starved herself during the week so she could drink more at the weekend. Obviously had food issues

Original poster
SaltedPretzel · 10/02/2020 13:03

@Sickandscared yes it is the quantity of food, never anything about what the food actually is.

OP posts:
ForalltheSaints · 10/02/2020 13:10

The weight comments are objectionable and he should be called out for them.

FishingPaws · 10/02/2020 13:10

'You're never going to finish all that, are you?' - We'll see, won't we?
'That's a box of salad' - Your powers of observation are astounding!

Comments about size/weight are rude, so are implications about your meal size!

Grumpbum123 · 10/02/2020 13:12

Next time he says something turn round and say you’re always so interested in my lunch, are you hinting you want me to bring so in for you.

Original poster
SaltedPretzel · 10/02/2020 13:12

@FishingPaws I love the comment about the observation! Will use that one haha

OP posts:
aroundtheworldyet · 10/02/2020 13:12

Ask him what his mum usually makes him for lunch.

Bluetrews25 · 10/02/2020 13:13

Was it a tough interview to join the food police, Brian?

SiliconHeaven · 10/02/2020 13:13

I've got one who says 'you shouldn't eat that, you're diabetic' all the fucking time.
I've tried smiling and nodding but soon he's going to get the 'mind your own fucking business'

Fink · 10/02/2020 13:16

If you can't think of a snarky come-back at the time, just stick to the same line everytime and call him out on it. Depending on the guy he may take some time to get the message. Whether it's your food or the cleaner's weight, something general like 'How rude. I don't think that's any of your business.'

I would avoid the standard MN 'Did you mean to be so rude?' It can work sometimes, but with some people it's best to avoid questions, even evidently hypothetical questions, just give them a statement.

He's the one who's out of order. There's no problem showing him up, even though it probably feels embarrasing to confront him.

juls1888 · 10/02/2020 13:16

"What I eat or what I weigh is none of your concern, unless I'm sitting on your face"
Office full of men die laughing and he dies of mortification in the corner.
That's what cheeky fuckers get back from me Halo

AriadnesFilament · 10/02/2020 13:17

“Why do you comment so often on how much food I eat?” asked with a quizzical look

Whatever answer he gives: “do you think that’s appropriate?”

He’ll shut up