Was I asking for it?

[Ihavenotaclue]

DH and I were messing around, grabbing others chubby bits and he said he hates his, I replied I love them. So I said ‘don’t you like mine?’ he said no.
I’m 5’7 size 12 and in proportion. Quite muscular I suppose but the children have ruined my stomach, stretch marks, baggy skin to which I have issues with, quite insecure.
So I got a bit upset. I let it pass and tried to make light of it tonight in bed and he touched my bum and I wiggled his hand asking why he didn’t like that....he then touched my stomach saying that it’s this he doesn’t like. Feel like utter crap now, it’s a part of me I can’t change, it’s what happened when I made our beautiful children and he doesn’t like that part of me. AIBU to be a bit heartbroken and sad? I suppose I was expecting him to love my flaws, especially that one. I was looking forward to some sex, but now I’m totally put off. He doesn’t seem to understand why.

Oh that’s shit of him OP. I’d say show him this post. I am sure there are loads of bits of me that my DP would change if he made his perfect woman, but he wouldn’t tell me and it doesn’t matter because he loves me.

Wow, is he thick? Yanbu, wtf was he thinking? He sounds like a dickhead

What a knob.

I know it’s not the done thing here but have a hug and some 💐. Lots of posters will say you were asking for it however it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t sting. Imo he’s also lacking insight that it’s thrown your confidence and this will impact at least temporarily your desire to become intimate. Sexual intimacy by its innate prices leaves both parties potentially vulnerable. I also think the fact that he touched your stomach and said it’s that he’s doesn’t like is the thing that crossed the line.
Although to some this might seem a minor interaction, I feel it could be a significant turning point in your relationship if the situation is not handled well with open communication. Be kind to yourself.

Process not bloody prices

Not nice for you. I wonder if he is projecting his own dissatisfaction with his body onto you. And then failing recognise that actually your body did build your children?

If he hates his chubby bits why doesn’t he deal with them ? Or have a conversation which involves the fact that you love one another for all that you are rather than your model like figures?

Bottom line is that you need to talk.

I'd flick him on the penis and tell him I never cared for it much either.

He's out of order.

What a knobber.

Your body tells a story of everything that you two have created together.

Your post pregnancy tummy is amazing arbs I'm sorry he doesn't realise that

He’s an insensitive dick.

Is he 19 with zero sense about how much that would hurt someone who he’s supposed to love?

Show him this thread so he can see what a thick shit he is.

Oh, OP, yanbu, I’d be terribly upset by this. It’s not exactly guaranteed to make you want to shag him- much more off putting than any chubby bits. And quite hard to come back from. Plus it sounds as though he may not be an Adonis... maybe that’s why he’s projected this on to you

Very insensitive of him.
You need to talk.

But he has 'chubby bits' too, despite never bearing children, which you don't mind? Bet he thinks he's gorgeous.

I'd reply well I don't particularly like the way gravity has affected your arse and balls but we can't have it all.
He is an idiot to make the first comment and a wanker to make the second.
Calculate his weight tell him you'll feel better when you shift X amount stone from your life, watch his saggy ass walk away. I obviously don't know if he has a saggy ass but it'll have him checking

Ask him if he likes the children and being a parent. If he says yes point out that your body was changed by them growing and developing to the stage that they could survive outside the womb.

Extremely insensitive and immature.
Him that is, not you obvs

What a fucking prick.

THe first comment was ill thought out but the second was downright mean and would have resulted in a full on row if it was me. The row would include the fact that the reason the stretch marks etc are there is because your body grew the children, that you carried them, birthed them and made all the sacrifices you needed to to the create them.

Seriously, I would have gone in to fucking orbit over that.

Tell "Adonis" to go fuck himself, figuratively and literally.

He was a knob end.
There isn't any other way to describe the maliciousness of his comments

He is one horrible man! You are well rid even though you may not feel so at present

What’s the endgame here. Is he expecting you to get surgery for it or something? Extremely hurtful, callous thing to say. I wouldn’t be interested in sleeping with a man like that ever again

@Bluerussian

I don’t think OP has actually left her DH over this yet!

@Ihavenotaclue that was an awful thing to say to you. Jesus I don't think I'd ever be able to be naked around him again, let alone have sex with the dickhead. You should show him these replies. What a prick.

Filling up reading this because it sounds like my DP, he's not said it quite like that but he definitely makes it clear. I'm 100% with you on the hurt it causes, that tight throat feeling. Horrible bastards.

My husband would be sent to stay at his mums if he spoke to me like that.

What a prick.

@baubled that's awful. Jesus Christ those men. I'm overweight, and it's not all down to having had a baby, c section didn't help my stomach🤦🏻‍♀️ but Dh would never ever make a negative comment. He loves me. I feel so sad for you and the OP

That's really unkind and insensitive.

The one redeeming thing is that he's been honest and admitted that he doesn't like his own chubby bits so although he's an idiot, at least he's not an egotistical idiot with double standards.