Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sorry, another Philip Schofield one...

999 replies

UnaCorda · 08/02/2020 20:20

I really couldn't care less about Philip Schofield's sexuality (or anyone else's) and good for him for finally being true to himself. But what makes me quite cross is all this talk of honesty and bravery, and the self-indulgent, tortured confessional in front of the nation when really it's of no importance to anyone who doesn't know him personally.

In the clip of his chat with Holly he asks repeatedly, "When is the right time?" In my opinion, the right time is before you get married to someone who believes you are straight. It's not brave, or honest, to make someone unwittingly provide you with the benefits of a heterosexual relationship, including children, so you can be viewed by the public as a "respectable family man". It's actually rather selfish.

I had a brief relationship with someone who I later discovered was gay. He didn't even have the balls to tell me directly, and it seriously screwed me up for a long time. I can't imagine what it must be like to find out your husband of 27 years is homosexual.

I'm not gay, so perhaps I am being unreasonable as I don't know what it is like to come out to friends and family (although I imagine it is easier now than it was thirty years ago) and I don't know whether PS really believed that he was in love with his wife when they got married. But I do think that leaving a duplicitous life which affects other people is not a kind or honourable thing to do and I feel very sorry for his wife and daughters who I think really have been brave.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
OvaltinaTurner · 09/02/2020 01:17

Ok, summing up for those who balk at the link above:

  • Knew he was gay but suppressed it
  • Had therapy, felt suicidal, thought maybe was bi but realised wasn't
  • Wife has known for a while
  • Refused to say whether he is or has been in a gay relationship
  • Not sure when/if they will divorce
CJsGoldfish · 09/02/2020 01:19

I had a brief relationship with someone who I later discovered was gay. He didn't even have the balls to tell me directly, and it seriously screwed me up for a long time

Really though? Finding out after a brief relationship screwed you up for a long time Hmm

No one has any insight as much as they like to pretend they do. A whole lot of assumption, projection and whatever else is going on.

The faux, and probably misguided, sympathy directed towards his family is just Confused

OvaltinaTurner · 09/02/2020 01:36

Well, latest is wife not divorcing him until he's found love again and then it will be amicable he should be glad he isn't married to me

Sources shmources say Stephanie has no plans to chase Phillip for a multi-million pound divorce.

“Steph isn’t bitter over Phil’s coming out,” said an insider. “She isn’t the type to be spiteful by dragging him into court.

“She’s saying she’ll stick with him until he’s settled and happy in a new relationship, and then they’ll talk about an amicable split.

yeetyoik · 09/02/2020 01:40

Yanbu, completely agree.

yeetyoik · 09/02/2020 01:41

His wife could get the marriage annulled if she wanted to.

Donkeytail · 09/02/2020 01:46

Ah he has cleared it up with an interview with the Sun. He said he did know he was gay prior to marrying his wife and kept it from her for years. But he was "happy" with her despite always knowing he was gay.

How surprising Hmm. I'm glad he's cleared it up anyway, now everyone knows he is a selfish git who didn't care whether or not his wife would be happy being married to a gay man. But he was happy and that's the most important thing.

HeIenaDove · 09/02/2020 01:46

Dragging him into court would be spiteful? Fuck me we havent really moved on very much have we.

Women should put up and shut up and if not they must want to separate and divorce out of spite.

Small point but if the runner had been a woman the phrase gold digger would have been used by now.

PicsInRed · 09/02/2020 01:50

Women's Aid should give Steph a call. She could probably use their help extracting herself from a marriage to the sort of person who plants stories in the media effectively telling her not to divorce him and not to have the gall to ask for her own fucking money or he'll be difficult. After he cheated and left. Hmm

PicsInRed · 09/02/2020 01:54

Small point but if the runner had been a woman the phrase gold digger would have been used by now.

What if their 1st documented context was when she was only just turned 15...and she both looked and acted only about 13 in photos/video of them together a couple of years later? No, people would be using the words "grooming" and "creepy". And possibly more, depending on what crops up next.

HeIenaDove · 09/02/2020 01:56
Shock
user1471464702 · 09/02/2020 02:58

Such a complex situation and clearly loves his family - however the rumour mill suggests he was going to be outed by his previous pa and also much harder to remove him now from tv as will site discrimination as a root cause rather than his mistreatment of others and perhaps not be held accountable for suggested poor behaviour to colleagues such as fb and ah

user1471464702 · 09/02/2020 03:03

Just caught up now with posts Blush really awful behaviour if articles are accurate his poor wife - Narcissistic all the way and so selfish

Friendsofmine · 09/02/2020 03:10

It is brave to come out. It is not brave to want to have sex with people other than your wife.

OvaltinaTurner · 09/02/2020 04:10

Move along, nothing to see here...

www.dailystar.co.uk/showbiz/philip-schofields-sexuality-been-open-21459026

Lots of people who work at This Morning have known Phillip is gay for a few years.

“It was an open secret among the team but none of them would have ever said anything about it publicly.

“Because Phillip had their trust, he could relax and not worry about being outed. This Morning became a safe space for him.”

Phillip felt so comfortable around his colleagues he often socialised with other gay men in the team.

And according to one source, he often took younger gay guys “under his wing” and became a mentor to them.

They said: “Phillip is a very caring guy. Over the years he has supported others who are gay and made sure they feel comfortable to be themselves.

“There was one runner who was struggling to deal with his sexuality and Phillip was quick to offer support and become a mentor for him.”

UnaCorda · 09/02/2020 05:23

Really though? Finding out after a brief relationship screwed you up for a long time hmm

It was the break-down of the relationship that affected me, rather than discovering the reason behind it. But if I hadn't been used by this man in an attempt to proove to himself he was straight I would have avoided a lot of anguish. It would also have helped a lot if he had had the guts to be honest with me when we split up, rather than letting me finding out several years later.

OP posts:
PhilCornwall1 · 09/02/2020 05:37

My theory is that someone was going to out him, he seems to have been in the gossip news the past few weeks and he's just beaten them to it.

Yep, this is what I think too. A tabloid was going to out him and he's had to do it before them. In typical Scofield style, he's now going to milk it for all it's worth, to make him look like he's the best thing since sliced bread. I've always thought he's a complete media loving, self centred twat and if it's not all about him, he'll have a tantrum.

And all this talk of "oh you are a hero and so brave". Bollocks to that!! I most certainly know in my own mind the people I define as brave and this individual isn't on that list.

PhilCornwall1 · 09/02/2020 05:41

His wife could get the marriage annulled if she wanted to.

I think she'd struggle with that.

chocolatemademefat · 09/02/2020 08:33

We don’t know how long his wife has known. I think for his announcement to feature on the national news is awful. We pretend to be an accepting society yet this is treated as sensationalist news. Saying that, he courted the publicity by doing the interview on This Morning. People end marriages for all sorts of reasons and who’s to say his wife hasn’t had time to come to terms with it. It would be sad for any family and my sympathies are with all of them. I very much suspect he was about to be outed for him to announce it the way he did.

CameronG · 09/02/2020 09:13

sensationalist news

He made it that way. With his big dramatic announcement on This Morning. He and his PR team absolutely ensured that this would be treated in such a manner.

Lots of gullible people on here and particularly on Twitter.

Scratchyback · 09/02/2020 09:24

I’m thinking that his wife is the brave one here!! I always quite liked PS but rapidly going off him now as it all seems to be about him and how much ‘lighter’ he feels now. What about your bloody wife!!!

Greenpop21 · 09/02/2020 09:25

I agree that his cover was about to be blown. Otherwise it would have been much better for him, his wife and children if they had divorced first without comment.

Scratchyback · 09/02/2020 09:26

I know she may have known for years but he’s speaking about his marriage as if it was a sham which must be awful for her.

Greenpop21 · 09/02/2020 09:30

I’m not a TM viewer apart from the odd day in school holidays but I think that that pairing is over. Before this, the ridiculous over sharing of their friendship was not in a viewer’s
interest. Then Bradley Walsh started mentioning on Radio 2 that he’s got a place in Portugal and parties with them too. I find it sickening really.

tartantroosers · 09/02/2020 09:34

He's been porking a young male media runner intern. It went sour. Preemptive media luvvyfest. What a C.