Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sorry, another Philip Schofield one...

999 replies

UnaCorda · 08/02/2020 20:20

I really couldn't care less about Philip Schofield's sexuality (or anyone else's) and good for him for finally being true to himself. But what makes me quite cross is all this talk of honesty and bravery, and the self-indulgent, tortured confessional in front of the nation when really it's of no importance to anyone who doesn't know him personally.

In the clip of his chat with Holly he asks repeatedly, "When is the right time?" In my opinion, the right time is before you get married to someone who believes you are straight. It's not brave, or honest, to make someone unwittingly provide you with the benefits of a heterosexual relationship, including children, so you can be viewed by the public as a "respectable family man". It's actually rather selfish.

I had a brief relationship with someone who I later discovered was gay. He didn't even have the balls to tell me directly, and it seriously screwed me up for a long time. I can't imagine what it must be like to find out your husband of 27 years is homosexual.

I'm not gay, so perhaps I am being unreasonable as I don't know what it is like to come out to friends and family (although I imagine it is easier now than it was thirty years ago) and I don't know whether PS really believed that he was in love with his wife when they got married. But I do think that leaving a duplicitous life which affects other people is not a kind or honourable thing to do and I feel very sorry for his wife and daughters who I think really have been brave.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
GrimDamnFanjo · 09/02/2020 09:36

“There was one runner who was struggling to deal with his sexuality and Phillip was quick to offer support and become a mentor for him.”

Great damage limitation there. I bet the runner is a "troubled soul" too...

Xenia · 09/02/2020 09:37

I think there should be some kind of legal right in these cases - eg 27 years of damages for misrepresentation eg if he leaves her or they have less money because he's set up a young lover in a second home then she gets money to cover the losses including costs of her trying to find someone else at her time of life to spend the rest of her days with etc etc. It certainly has always felt deceptive and wrong to me and he is not that old - it was not that hard to come out as gay when he was 21.

PositiveVibez · 09/02/2020 09:44

It's uncanny if you look on this runners linkein profile, just how many shows of Mr brave's, he's actually worked on

augustusglupe · 09/02/2020 09:50

Totally agree, he’s gay, fine. But I couldn’t stand him before and still can’t.
All that self indulgent clap trap on Friday, he looked so weak and self absorbed. I bet his wife has been through hell and he’s painting her as some saintly mother figure who’s supporting him...yeah ok Phil Hmm

ssd · 09/02/2020 09:54

I can't understand how his wife didn't know or suspect anything when posters on mn who worked in the media said it was an open secret for years.

ItIsWhatItIsInnit · 09/02/2020 09:54

Gosh, imagine remembering your wedding day and all the vows, then realising it was all a lie because your husband knew he was gay the whole time. I'd be fuming, not supportive.

Belledan1 · 09/02/2020 09:55

It may have been the papers changing headline around but I was cross when I saw one saying Holly and my wife supportive. Putting Holly before his wife!

YetAnotherSpartacus · 09/02/2020 10:03

I've only read a couple of interviews, but I am Hmm Confused that most of his discussion re his marriage has been about how his wife has known for a while, is supportive, etc.. He has not even acknowledged the impact on her nor said 'sorry' nor indicated how he will support her. It's all been about him.

LuaDipa · 09/02/2020 10:14

I’m torn. I do think PS is brave to come out to the public after all this time - open secret or not. But I do feel for his wife. I think the tone taken should have been more apologetic for the 27 years of her life that he has taken, even though the reasons why are understandable.

I also feel that as a pp said, the needs and thoughts of any woman in this heartbreaking situation are completely pushed aside. I can’t imagine the same disregard for a man who’s wife had just come out after 27 years of marriage, I am sure there would be much more sympathy and consideration for the poor husband left behind. This unfairness grates somewhat.

NicEv · 09/02/2020 10:21

There are a lot of rumours swirling on the internet suggesting he was in a relationship with a very young runner on This Morning and had been for several years, and the lad was about to expose him

LuaDipa · 09/02/2020 10:21

Also - “Steph isn’t bitter over Phil’s coming out,” said an insider. “She isn’t the type to be spiteful by dragging him into court.

So if she does decide to try and move on and obtain her fair share of the assets they built together after 27 years of lies and deception, she is obviously wrong and spiteful.Hmm Misogyny at it’s finest.

Yeahwhatevs · 09/02/2020 10:22

I agree. His statement was so much about him and his feelings. Even the bit about his wife was all about how she was fantastic for supporting him. There was nothing about how he felt guilty for putting her through it all and deceiving her into living a lie.

I'd feel much more sympathetic if he'd made it less about him.

MimiLaRue · 09/02/2020 10:28

so if she does decide to try and move on and obtain her fair share of the assets they built together after 27 years of lies and deception, she is obviously wrong and spiteful

Right? fcking hell- she is allowed to feel pissed off and fed up FGS. She is also allowed to demand part of his money in a divorce- she brought their kids up so he could have his career so she DESERVES to be compensated financially for that sacrifice

MerryDeath · 09/02/2020 10:28

IA. brave is not what springs to mind. his wife has my sympathies.

CallofDoodee · 09/02/2020 10:30

I bet his wife has been through hell and he’s painting her as some saintly mother figure who’s supporting him

Yes, it's always the way isn't it, the saintly female figure who is always there to support and hold up the troubled man. Who never complains or has feelings of her own about these things because her whole existence is just about propping up and validating her husband.

It's never the other way around is it?

KatyCarrCan · 09/02/2020 10:32

Ah he has cleared it up with an interview with the Sun. He said he did know he was gay prior to marrying his wife and kept it from her for years. But he was "happy" with her despite always knowing he was gay

Well, I wonder if the posters who have tried to police every PS thread with the narrative that his wife knew, there was no deceit and he is very brave will now admit they were wrong.
If I were them, I'd be angry that PS used their community to try to whitewash his lying and cheating. It's the problem with assuming because someone claims an 'identity' or announces their sexuality then they're above reproach and their motivations are good.

PositiveVibez · 09/02/2020 10:33

'brave' ffs. He's not brave. He's a fucking coward who's shit himself because his ver very young boyfriend has threatened to expose their affair and he wants to preserve his FAKE image.

Brave indeed!

SisterAgatha · 09/02/2020 10:46

Andi Peters was out. Same time, same beginnings, and Andi is black. It’s done him no harm. PS got married in 1993, not 1963.

LEELULUMPKIN · 09/02/2020 10:50

I see that PS is the patron of the "Two faced theatre company" where he met the alleged BF. How very apt.

AgentJohnson · 09/02/2020 10:52

Philip Schofield isn't brave. He has just stopped being a coward. Huge difference.

So not being closeted = being a coward.

It’s this judgemental bullshit that keeps people in the closet.

I don’t think people know how many people come out in later life.

chuttypicks · 09/02/2020 10:52

Well said @onemorecrisp . You are spot on with that comment.

Whatsername177 · 09/02/2020 10:54

I must be honest, the misogyny is really starting to piss me off. I am a supporter of LGBTQ+ rights, I believe in acceptance and equality. But it is not homophobic to criticize PS's actions. There is nothing wrong with him being gay, but he has behaved appallingly. He knew he was gay when he got married. He entered into a legally binding contract knowing he was lying. That is wrong, morally and legally. He actually repeatedly commented in the 90's that he absolutely wasn't gay, he said he supported people who were, but he wasnt, when actually, he was and knew it. Those actions are not the actions of an inspirational role model to the LGBTQ+ community. In the midst of all of this, people are actually questioning his wife in regards to why she stayed: money, the benefits to being married to a celeb, the lifestyle blah blah blah. It all paints her out to be a money grabber. She has two kids who love their dad. It isn't easy to leave a marriage knowing your actions will hurt your kids. Why assume she stayed for money? Because it fits in to the narrative that PS is the 'victim'.

SummersMahoosiveClipOnFringe · 09/02/2020 11:09

That's assuming she has known for a while .. Whats

It is possible this is relatively new news and she is reeling.

LuvSmallDogs · 09/02/2020 11:10

This isn't the dark ages, no one is (legally) forced into marriages to carry on the family line and acquire land anymore. Schofield could have lived as a bachelor, no need to deceive a woman and father children. Turns out gay men can be just as good at using women for their own ends as straight men can be, who'd have thought? He's no different than sleazy old men looking to use their power and influence to cheat with younger women "sooo brave".

AnnDaloozier · 09/02/2020 11:11

Totally