Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sorry, another Philip Schofield one...

999 replies

UnaCorda · 08/02/2020 20:20

I really couldn't care less about Philip Schofield's sexuality (or anyone else's) and good for him for finally being true to himself. But what makes me quite cross is all this talk of honesty and bravery, and the self-indulgent, tortured confessional in front of the nation when really it's of no importance to anyone who doesn't know him personally.

In the clip of his chat with Holly he asks repeatedly, "When is the right time?" In my opinion, the right time is before you get married to someone who believes you are straight. It's not brave, or honest, to make someone unwittingly provide you with the benefits of a heterosexual relationship, including children, so you can be viewed by the public as a "respectable family man". It's actually rather selfish.

I had a brief relationship with someone who I later discovered was gay. He didn't even have the balls to tell me directly, and it seriously screwed me up for a long time. I can't imagine what it must be like to find out your husband of 27 years is homosexual.

I'm not gay, so perhaps I am being unreasonable as I don't know what it is like to come out to friends and family (although I imagine it is easier now than it was thirty years ago) and I don't know whether PS really believed that he was in love with his wife when they got married. But I do think that leaving a duplicitous life which affects other people is not a kind or honourable thing to do and I feel very sorry for his wife and daughters who I think really have been brave.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
The80sweregreat · 09/02/2020 12:04

If his wife knew from day one he wasn't ever going to love her as he should then she was obviously fine about everything else that may have gone on as well. It makes no sense to me , but then this may have been a ' business arrangement' marriage : she gets the money , house , children and he is seen as ' family man' with a double life going on in the background. An arrangement that might have finally fallen apart or neither of them could carry on lying anymore?
I guess there may be more to come out.

SirChing · 09/02/2020 12:07

@The80sweregreat PS said she didn't know until recent years (despite also saying they had no secrets Hmm).

It was in the press that Steph is "shattered". Whether that is true or not, who knows, but it's a reasonable response to your husband forgetting to tell you he only fancies blokes, for over 20 years.

Bigearringsbigsmile · 09/02/2020 12:07

I think the point is that his wife didnt know from day 1

Maighdeann · 09/02/2020 12:08

I would imagine the boys career is pretty much over now because of this. If PS can hold onto his, I would imagine will be down to the circumstances of the outing - blackmail? Then they will protect him. Shame no one was interested in protecting Steph.

LuvSmallDogs · 09/02/2020 12:09

People don't like to accept it, but gay pop culture is full of misogyny that would be "called out" were it straight men making cracks about fishy pussies etc. How many women have been groped at by a gay man having a laugh, where your body is the butt of the joke? (raises hand). Gay men are NOT women's friends by default.

CallofDoodee · 09/02/2020 12:09

He had an private Instagram account that he used to privately approach men- no problem with that but generally better if you’re single

Have you got a source for this?

I'm not saying that Schofield is immune from criticism, and I'm very interested in the discussion on the role of women and wives in all these 'troubled men's turmoil'.

But some of the stuff on this thread is just total bullshit speculation and will end up getting the thread deleted.

Evilspiritgin · 09/02/2020 12:13

I don’t think itv and philip schofield have played the blinder they think they have. Of course you will still have people sheep who think he and itv can do no wrong but I think in the world of social media people are questioning everything more

Well we can officially say holly is a bitch or at least couldn’t care less about his wife. I mean fancy asking him if he’s excited about having a new relationship, even if his wife played along with the whole charade it’s still a slap in the face, it’s true you definitely find out who your friends are

Anjo2011 · 09/02/2020 12:15

No one should have to live a lie, and I guess he’s very relieved that he’s finally come out. I find the whole big announcement on the tv show he presents in bad taste. Why not just make the social media statement then go and deal
With it in private. There are many rumours on twitter and social media about why he came out/was forced to, and if these are true I think the support for him will very quickly fall away. I think he’s desperate to save his tv career after all the bad press but I have to say I think in 12 months time his face on our screens will be a thing of the paste. IMO his glory years are coming to an end....

Bigmango · 09/02/2020 12:17

@LuvSmallDogs errrr absolutely NEVER. And I spent a lot of time in gay clubs in my miss spent youth. With you on the misogynistic comments, but I’d put that down to the fact that there are straight dick heads and gay dick heads.

colinsleftnipple · 09/02/2020 12:18

PS being gay is something I have know for probably 20 years at least so when he came out it was a 'finally' moment.

So I'm sure his wife was not in the dark for 27 years.

A family member who works in TV told me... with a good list of others also in the closet!

I don't care about someone's sexuality- but I don't like liars.

It's one thing not telling the world you're gay, you shouldn't have to, but it's another thing entirely to cover it up by marrying someone etc. That's a huge lie to yourself and those it effects.

SirChing · 09/02/2020 12:22

@LuvSmallDogs I agree. LGBTQ+ People are exactly that - People! Some are nice, some are arseholes. Some are brave, some aren't. Some are friendly to both sexes, some are raving misogynists and misandrists.

Being part of a minority which faces stigma and prejudice, doesn't exempt anyone from behaving with integrity, respect and fairness to others.

Someone can be "brave" and "speak their truth" AND also be a misogynist who has thrown loved ones under the bus to conceal their own lies. If people don't want to be called out on the latter then, instead of deciding to remain closeted, they could always choose to not sacrifice loved ones and behave without misogyny.

Spidey66 · 09/02/2020 12:23

You're being unreasonable for starting another PS thread instead of adding this to one of the several already out there.

Highonpotandused · 09/02/2020 12:29

@Spidey66 get over it, there are 277 responses to this one 🙄

AlternativePerspective · 09/02/2020 12:31

This thread is in really bad taste.

While I don’t think that someone coming out is really brave and I do think that their wife or husband deserves support, the fact is we know nothing of the circumstances. We don’t know that he groomed someone, we don’t know that he was sleeping with an eighteen year old, tabloid and twitter fodder is not reliable source material.

And we don’t know that his wife never knew or how long it has been since he told her.

The way people are speculating on this thread it’s as if they think she found out by watching the clip on This Morning and that was the first she knew about it.

On MN people constantly say that if someone isn’t happy in their marriage then they should leave before ending up having an affair with someone else, and yet if someone does do that then the response is always that they must have been sleeping with someone else already, regardless of whether they’re gay or straight. Which goes a long way towards explaining why people have affairs, because just leaving a marriage for any reason isn’t considered acceptable, even though people say that it is.

If you’re sleeping with someone else then being gay or straight is no different, a wrong is a wrong. But if you’re not and you don’t want to live the life you’re living any more, then society needs to be more accepting that people will choose to end marriages and relationships on that basis.

I have actually revised my thinking on this, as in the beginning my thinking was very much that the wife has been living a lie and deserves all the support. But given that we don’t actually know what goes on behind closed doors accusing him of being a prick etc is really not on, and yes, it does border on homophobia.

MrsDoylesTeaBags · 09/02/2020 12:31

TBH, his sexuality is of no concern to me, I'd always though he was gay anyway and was suprised to find out he is married and with kids. I've never really had a strong opinion about him although he seems to be everywhere of late.

The more I find out about him the more disgusted I feel to be honest and I think long term this will not work out well for him. Realising you're actually gay after being married is one thing and I have every sympathy for people who go through that, but that's not what happened here. He knew he was gay before he married, had multiple affairs and was grooming a boy significantly younger than his own children. These are not the actions of a stunning and brave survivor.

AlternativePerspective · 09/02/2020 12:38

@ MrsDoylesTeaBags and you know that for a fact do you? Did he tell you himself or did you read that among the lurid speculation on social media, because obviously everything on there and in the tabloids is true...... Hmm

KatyCarrCan · 09/02/2020 12:42

Alternative he said it himself in an interview with the media. Perhaps check the sources before chastising posters for making stuff up when they are actually quoting PS's own words.

AlternativePerspective · 09/02/2020 12:43

What did he say? That he’d been grooming a fourteen year old? Really?

KatyCarrCan · 09/02/2020 12:45

He said he knew he was gay when he got married but didn't tell his wife.

MsMiaWallace · 09/02/2020 12:45

No but interesting that PS has now deleted the tweets to him when he was 14.

contentedsoul · 09/02/2020 12:48

It's all very PC
But none of us in the real world gives a shit about him.
As for the daughter admiring her dad, wonder if she'd be so full of admiration if her other half came out too?? Thought not.

So know Philly fucks off into the sunset and the wife picks up the pieces..Way to go Phil...A Man you ain't bro'

Now fuck off

AlternativePerspective · 09/02/2020 12:49

But there’s a difference between saying that he knew he was gay before he got married and saying that he groomed a fourteen year old.

The latter is libellous if not true.

contentedsoul · 09/02/2020 12:49

now - stupid auto correct

Whatsername177 · 09/02/2020 12:53

I agree, @AlternativePerspective. I disagree with PS's behaviour. However, the young man should be left out of the outrage. There is no proof of an affair or grooming. If he wants to tell his story, he will.

EverSeenTheQueen · 09/02/2020 12:54

Wasn’t he having an affair and under threat of being exposed?