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Original poster

Sorry, another Philip Schofield one...

999 replies

UnaCorda · 08/02/2020 20:20

I really couldn't care less about Philip Schofield's sexuality (or anyone else's) and good for him for finally being true to himself. But what makes me quite cross is all this talk of honesty and bravery, and the self-indulgent, tortured confessional in front of the nation when really it's of no importance to anyone who doesn't know him personally.

In the clip of his chat with Holly he asks repeatedly, "When is the right time?" In my opinion, the right time is before you get married to someone who believes you are straight. It's not brave, or honest, to make someone unwittingly provide you with the benefits of a heterosexual relationship, including children, so you can be viewed by the public as a "respectable family man". It's actually rather selfish.

I had a brief relationship with someone who I later discovered was gay. He didn't even have the balls to tell me directly, and it seriously screwed me up for a long time. I can't imagine what it must be like to find out your husband of 27 years is homosexual.

I'm not gay, so perhaps I am being unreasonable as I don't know what it is like to come out to friends and family (although I imagine it is easier now than it was thirty years ago) and I don't know whether PS really believed that he was in love with his wife when they got married. But I do think that leaving a duplicitous life which affects other people is not a kind or honourable thing to do and I feel very sorry for his wife and daughters who I think really have been brave.

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SummersMahoosiveClipOnFringe · 09/02/2020 11:14

I loathe that description of the wife being a 'type'. It reeks of dehumanising her.

Bigearringsbigsmile · 09/02/2020 11:14

The thing is....its irrelevant that hes gay. Hes married. He's entered into a binding legal contract to be with one person.
Once you're married, you dont stop fancying other people. .you just dont do anything about it

So what if he fancies men? You just dont do anything about it.

OR You behave honestly and honourably and end the marriage first and then you're free to ride rings around yourself with whomever you please.uts theceishonesty that is horrible
.

SummersMahoosiveClipOnFringe · 09/02/2020 11:18

I think she has been used as a pawn in a very manipulative man's game.

He certainly has behaved dishonourably on many counts.

Wereallsquare · 09/02/2020 11:19

@LuvSmallDogs Exactly right. Gay men can be as misogynistic as men of any persuasion. And I will add, before I knew better, I associated with gay men who expressed a particular repulsion for and ridicule of the female body, and by extension, of women. It is foul but many people are afraid to acknowledge it for fear of being seen as homophobic.

JojoLapin · 09/02/2020 11:19

Fantastic PR coup. His sudden “coming out” was so positively received. It’ll be difficult to continue bashing someone who has been “so brave” 🙄.

He received a lot of negative press lately about being difficult to work with. It’s a little niche but he has been a perennial character in the always brilliant Cold War Steve’s artwork for a little while. He was probably going to be outed in a shitty Sunday paper. The timing is perfect.

It’s 2020 FFS, being gay should not be a headline topic.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 09/02/2020 11:21

Exactly right. Gay men can be as misogynistic as men of any persuasion. And I will add, before I knew better, I associated with gay men who expressed a particular repulsion for and ridicule of the female body, and by extension, of women. It is foul but many people are afraid to acknowledge it for fear of being seen as homophobic

I totally and utterly agree. We can be called homophobic but no one challenges their misogyny.

PicsInRed · 09/02/2020 11:24

So ... now he's claiming he "helped" a boy struggling with his sexuality? Well then. Isn't Phil just lovely and not exploitative of a teen boy or of his wife Steph at all. Hmm

His PR team must be working through the fucking night.

Time's up, Phil.

thriftyhen · 09/02/2020 11:24

I see he's given an interview saying that he "admits he knew he was gay when he wed 27 years ago". I think this now puts a slightly different slant on the whole story.

Mummyzzz044 · 09/02/2020 11:27

My sister is gay. Knew from very very young. He got married knowing he was gay. He isn't brave. He's deceitful, anyone who could live a lie that long and lie to her face every single day is not a hero to me.

I understand it was probably more difficult back then but I still don't like the years he lied to her for.

Now to come out so publicly? Why? Let the poor woman have time to adjust.

He can also lie and says he's been faithful his entire marriage, but I would not believe him. He has been exploring himself for years behind her back. Everything was a lie.
I found it really disrespectful when Holly asked him was he excited to meet someone else?... cheeky bitch there is a woman heartbroken watching this interview at home.

Also anyone else looking at their DH and saying "you better not be f**ng gay" haha

user14572856389 · 09/02/2020 11:32

So on the one hand you claim not to care about his sexuality and that it's not an issue, but then you make homophobic statements like this?

provide you with the benefits of a heterosexual relationship, including children, so you can be viewed by the public as a "respectable family man".

benefit from his "wholesome" image

Why is a gay person not wholesome or respectable in your view? Can they never be these things in your eyes?

Why does a person cease to be wholesome or respectable once you know they're gay?

And in what way is a society that thinks views like this are acceptable not a homophobic and hostile environment in which to exist as a gay person?

blondiebrowneyes · 09/02/2020 11:33

So it turns out he was sleeping with his personal assistant since the lad was 18 (the one who quit this morning in December because of a "toxic atmosphere".) Presumably he had threatened to go to the press.

user14572856389 · 09/02/2020 11:35

Before you make excuses, you've very clearly stated that he only had this "wholesome image" by virtue of pretending to be straight rather than coming out.

You weren't suggesting it was connected to anything other than his sexuality - according to you if he'd been out all this time he never would have been viewed as wholesome or respectable. That is plainly homophobia.

dottiedodah · 09/02/2020 11:35

Highonpotandused This was came to mind immediately I heard the news!

AnnDaloozier · 09/02/2020 11:35

@user14572856389 I read that as ironic ‘. She doesn’t think its “respectable “ but accepts that was the thing you had to do. Or he thought you did . Not brave enough to be out - as many people were in the 80s.
His decision of course but I think it’s perfectly acceptable to be sorry for another human being without being homophobic

Aderyn19 · 09/02/2020 11:40

I think it's braver to lead an honest life.

He's played a blinder though - anyone who persists in calling him a bully at work, will be seen as unsupportive. Nothing will be his fault because of all his internal turmoil.

All my sympathy is for the wife who has spent 27 years with him at the expense of finding someone who could off her a true marriage. He has admitted that he knew before he got married and buried it - the only way that is okay is if he fully disclosed that to his fiancée and she went into this arrangement knowingly.

There are rumours on twitter about the timing of this announcement.

SpanishFly · 09/02/2020 11:42

An 18yr old who worked on TM. No wonder there were issues behind the scenes.

The80sweregreat · 09/02/2020 11:43

I would bet that he has cheated before now but managed to cover it up / get away with it and just hoped it was a 'one off' thing so he could carry on lying. I've no idea of course and it's just a guess , but I really find it hard to believe he hasn't over the years.
If Steph knew and was ok about it then that is their business , but it's still risky and you have to trust the one your having the affair with not to 'kiss and tell'. Just speculation on my part but nothing surprises me about people anymore and what they are capable of!

AnnDaloozier · 09/02/2020 11:44

He had an private Instagram account that he used to privately approach men- no problem with that but generally better if you’re single

crosspelican · 09/02/2020 11:46

This reply has been deleted

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PhilCornwall1 · 09/02/2020 11:46

He's played a blinder though - anyone who persists in calling him a bully at work, will be seen as unsupportive. Nothing will be his fault because of all his internal turmoil.

Yep, he'll consider himself untouchable now, because all he will do is play whatever "card" fits at the time. Stinks really.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 09/02/2020 11:52

Totally agree with you OP. A friend of mine married a man who, after three years of marriage, “bravely” came out as being gay. Fortunately my friend is a very strong individual and came through it. She was the brave one.

Cinderemma · 09/02/2020 11:53

I read somewhere, can't remember where that he knew his wife had a secret Twitter account so see what he was up to on there.

The80sweregreat · 09/02/2020 11:55

I don't think I'd be ok about any of this but if I didn't have a clue then you would just carry on regardless.
The amount of people that have affairs but manage to keep it secret is amazing ; probably easier years ago as mobiles and tech hadn't been invented so easier to cover your tracks than it is now. You have to be a lot more on the ball I would imagine these days!
( I knew a colleague was having an affair long before her now ex husband realised what was going on purely by her actions if that makes sense !)
He was in denial for months till he found out.
She still managed it make it all his fault as well when he hadn't done anything! Still nobody knows what it's like behind closed doors I guess it what people are prepared to put up with etc.

SirChing · 09/02/2020 11:56

@AgentJohnson

So not being closeted = being a coward
It’s this judgemental bullshit that keeps people in the closet
I don’t think people know how many people come out in later life

Really? I wrote that about stopping being a coward doesn't equate to being brave. I came out as Bi at the age of 40. My mum came out as gay at 50. I am well fucking aware how it feels to come out later in life, thanks. AND I was married at the time.

Which is precisely WHY I know PS has been a coward!

Hiding behind other people who you are meant to love more than anything in the world, when society HAS moved on (within the last 10-15 years especially), is cowardly. He didn't need to stay closeted until now. He knew he was gay on his wedding day.

As SOON as you realise for certain yourself, you tell your partner. Full stop. Partners have a right to know and not be kept in the dark. Closeted partners have no right to take that choice away from their partner. That is cowardice!

Yes there is still homophobia, but do I think the level that exists justifies lying to your spouse for years? Do I hell!

If that attitude keeps people in the closet, then they need to take a good hard look at their own self absorption. Being gay in a family unit is about all of you. A person with integrity considers that and makes the right choice for their spouse, no matter how hard it is for them.

Original poster
UnaCorda · 09/02/2020 12:02

Before you make excuses, you've very clearly stated that he only had this "wholesome image" by virtue of pretending to be straight rather than coming out.

I don't need to "make excuses". I'm saying that PS deceitfully used his wife to benefit from seeming to conform to what is basically still a heteronormative society, albeit more accepting of homosexuality in 2020 than it was in 1990. He knew there would be professional and personal advantages to doing that, and sod the impact it would have on his wife.

If you're determined to willfully misunderstand my OP in order to find evidence of my homophobia, crack on.

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