Would you fine this "joke" funny?

[Boredbumhead]

Dp and I were in town with the children. We had separated off so he could have an eye test whilst I had the children. Them we would swap so I could get a haircut. Sideline: it's my birthday. Do had just come out of a shop. There was something someone had dropped on the floor. Like a ladies scarf. He picked it up and said. "I've got you something for your birthday." I got excited as he never gets me anything for my birthday. Then he picked up the scarf off the floor and waved it at me. I told him to f off and stormed away to my haircut, very teary and feeling shit. Apparently it was 'just a joke' though he has made zero effort. Who was BU?

I hate this kind of cruel “joke” , that is actually designed to humiliate and crush the other person. It is a form of bullying. When you protest, you get “ I was only joking, ffs where is your sense of humour ?”
Gaslighting, bullying and shitty behaviour, really, why stay with him ?

I don't think you are BU
I think he's an insensitive chud

I hope he realises and apologises

The joke itself is fine. Most people wouldn't get excited at that statement because its a classic 'joke' and your reaction to the actual joke is way OTT. But that's because most people would have got a present from their DP.

The problem is he hasn't got anything for your birthday. Not the joke. The joke is irrelevant really because he's a selfish area who hasn't bothered with your birthday

In the context, no, I certainly wouldn't find it funny. But men behave like this because they are allowed to for years. Why haven't you pulled him up on his selfish and inconsiderate behaviour long ago?

I think it's more than likely that you always buy him thoughtful gifts on his birthday OP?

The joke wasn't particularly funny in any context, but since he never actually buys you anything it's not funny at all and is cruel.

But men behave like this because they are allowed to for years.

Not really, no. They behave that way because they don't give a shit about their families.

But men behave like this because they are allowed to for years.
How many men do you know who behaves that way? I don't know many at all.

I'll never understand why people put up with uncaring cunts like this bastard and then have kids with them. Even my teenager would dump a person like this.

OP you haven't answered, did your kids get you anything?

Not laughing.
I remember how I felt in a similar situation. It was the day before my first mothers day as the new mum of a much wanted and long awaited daughter. We were walking through the card/giftwrap section at a department store when my (stbxh) suddenly came out with "I hope you're not expecting anything from ME tomorrow", and it felt like I'd been punched in the gut because it was such a calculatedly mean thing to say.

I think it’s quite sad that your partner doesn’t acknowledge your birthday.
It’s mean spirited and what are his reasons?
I presume he doesn’t encourage the children to make a card for mummy or help choose a gift.
He must know it’s hurts your feelings. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who was so uncaring.

Under these circumstances that's not funny AT ALL and humiliating for you. I'm very sorry 💐💐💐💐

How many men do you know who behaves that way? I don't know many at all.

You misunderstood me. I did not say men act like this, in general. I said that the men who do act like this, do so because they are allowed to, meaning the wife just stays silent about it and doesn't say anything.

It's a joke that makes him look bad for sure. Partner of the year there.

I'll never understand why people put up with uncaring cunts like this bastard

Exactly the point I was trying to get across, stormciarathegale. Women put up with it and don't call it out.

That was horrible. You need a serious talk with him if there is any point.

So in stead of blaming OP for this, why not give her advice? Otherwise it just looks mean.

It wasn't funny but you overreacted

How is he the rest of the time, because this sounds like your with someone who doesn't treat you well at all.

Don’t really understand couples who don’t make an effort for each other’s birthdays, doesn’t seem nice somehow.

People put up with it because they DONT REALISE it's not normal. Speaking as someone who has just chosen to leave a 20 year marriage, I can assure you I didn't spend the last 19 of them thinking "It seems I'm married to an emotionally abusive asshole but oh well, why not stay?". Realisation dawns awfully slowly.

I'm not sure I agree, plenty of women know they are with an abusive arsehole and choose to stay, very very many.

Happy birthday BoredBumHead . That was a really thoughtless thing to do. It is a bit like Emma Thompson finding the necklace in Love Actually - the dashed hope Is what is so sad. It’s actually worse than If he had said nothing at all. At least he could have pretended he’d forgotten.

I disagree everythingbackbutyou If a person has parents who buy each other presents, then they know. And if their parents don't do that, then surely a person has friends, even just one friend who talks to you and tells you what her husband got her for her birthday. I find it hard to believe a person can not have ever heard of a friend's marriage where gifts are given, or read anything online, or even in a magazine and it not occurred to them. I do not mean to blame the OP, I am just saying that it's hard to go through life not having a single friend's marriage or even neighbours, colleagues etc and know of one where the spouse/partner buys them a gift, as an example. I hope I'm explaining this correctly, I'm probably not though.