Would you fine this "joke" funny?

[Boredbumhead]

Dp and I were in town with the children. We had separated off so he could have an eye test whilst I had the children. Them we would swap so I could get a haircut. Sideline: it's my birthday. Do had just come out of a shop. There was something someone had dropped on the floor. Like a ladies scarf. He picked it up and said. "I've got you something for your birthday." I got excited as he never gets me anything for my birthday. Then he picked up the scarf off the floor and waved it at me. I told him to f off and stormed away to my haircut, very teary and feeling shit. Apparently it was 'just a joke' though he has made zero effort. Who was BU?

id be a bit annoyed that he didnt get me a present.

Id have seen it as a joke though, and maybe said something like 'at least its better than NOTHING, which I usually get'.

Defo wouldnt have stormed off......

I understood it that for once the OP thought her DP had actually thought about her and made an effort to show how he loves and appreciates her....

But he hadn't.

So the OP felt a mixture of embarrassment at actually thinking he cared and hurt that once again he didn't bother

So, it’s not even as if he’s a thick shit that has no awareness of how you might like a gift? He just wanted to take the piss out of you and mock the fact that he hasn’t got you a gift. Please tell me you’re not still buying the prick presents on his birthday?

I got excited as he never gets me anything for my birthday.

That's really sad to read. Why do you accept this treatment from him? I bet you celebrate his birthday. At the very least, from now on you should mark his birthday the exact same way he marks yours. Save the money you'd have spent on a gift to buy yourself someone on your own birthday.

It seems to me that he's gloating about treating you like shit. What a prick.

What an unfunny prick.

I'd have laughed. It was a joke.

My partner and I never really get anything for each others birthday unless there was something specific that one of us wanted. Same with Christmas. This is mutually agreed on. The purchasing and consumption of merchandise doesn't make our relationship.

I'm not sure where the borderline abuse accusations and the "years of conditioning and being worn down" are coming from unless the OP has previous threads that I'm not aware of?

Get Scrooge’s bank card and tell him you’re birthday shopping online.

I got excited as he never gets me anything for my birthday.

Why do you value yourself so little?

I hope you buy him extra small condoms for his birthday twat that he is

Come back and give us an update OP.

He sounds utterly mean.

In the past a present for my oh has been a meal out. If presants mean that much to you tell him.

ShirleyPhallus God forbid anyone ever do anything other than have an 'adult conversation'. FFS, the OP is completely reasonable to be pissed off and upset that her Dp couldn't be arsed to get her anything. It's not her job to teach him. He's a grown up. He should know to celebrate his loved ones birthday. But hey, you go ahead and smugly suggest the OP could have done better. Make you feel superior?

Errrmmmm quite an overreaction @damnthatanxiety. Judging by your username perhaps that’s touched a nerve but my suggestion wasn’t smug or superior, I just can’t see how people can’t have grown up conversations with their loved ones. It’s all over this board, people that would rather say nothing than tell their partner / friend / parent that their actions have hurt them.

Why doesn’t he get you anything for your birthday?

Yes @FourDecades sums it up.

It's really shocking there are so many men who can't give a single thought to the person they're supposed to love and cherish on their birthday.

What do you do for his birthday and what does he usually do for yours?

I'm confused too! Did he get you anything at all?

If it was my OH, and he joked about the scarf, I would assume it was an awful/bright/neon/tacky looking thing and meant as a complete joke. I wouldn't take it to heart and would just laugh.

If he didnt get you anything at all, I can understand being upset. Wishing you a happy birthday OP. x

I would have laughed at the joke but it depends .. if he didnt actually buy you anything for your bday then yanbu but if he did then yabu the joke was funny.

LTB

Yeh, this ''joke'' could only work if he had actually got you something really thoughtful and lovely. HOW is it funny if there wasn't really a lovely present. It's just cruel if there's no lovely present. Stay calm and say ''I over reacted, but can you explain to me why it was funny....''

See if he can articulate what his thinking was. You'll learn a lot more there.

It's not a joke. He's just highlighting what a selfish person he is.

It would have been a joke if my DH had said it. Because he buys thoughtful presents. In this case it's him saying, "ha ha I'm still a cunt". Not funny.

I didn't even get a card for my birthday last week.

It was my 50th.
(OH is away though, but I'm pretty sure there won't be one on his return either).

I hope he's got something waiting for you.

He’s funny..not

I had no idea that 90s Not jokes were still a think 🤣

OP he sounds like a shit. The joke itself isn’t offensive (or funny) but the context make it cruel.