Can not stand DH’s smells any longer

[ncagainforfeb]

Every morning DH makes brown toast with marmite and coffee for breakfast. I’m 28 weeks pregnant and for some reason the smell of it makes me feel sick to my stomach.

I don’t know why but the toast in particular is such a horrible smell and seems to pervade the whole house, even upstairs - even though he makes and eats it all in the kitchen.

We have a small house but it’s hard flooring throughout, so I don’t know how it gets everywhere?! It’s not like there are carpets soaking up the smell or anything.

I don’t know whether to say something to DH or just leave it, as I know it’s probably U to ask him to eat something totally different for breakfast. What do you think?

I can understand why she feels hesitant to say it when it's toast, as that's not a smell anyone objects to.
Nobody at all, in the entire universe? Oh, except a pregnant woman, in her own home.

I think she'd feel justified if he were eating smoked eels or something!
She should need to "feel justified". Nobody else in her home is being made to feel sick, OP is, its her home, her pregnancy. Her DH is also responsible for it, & if he doesn't want to help take care of her wellbeing, it's immaterial whether she's objecting to toast, mooncheese, or fried alligators.

What IS matierial is, she feels sick. What planet are PP's from, where this has to be justified, or DH's breakfast is more important than his wife's health?

Ask him to change what he has for breakfast for a bit. Mine was great about stuff like that when I was expecting.

He is a little upset that I retained my bloodhound nose after the pregnancies and strong, fake smells like body spray or aftershave are like a hot poker to the brain for me and I get an instant headache so whilst he would happily open his aftershave bottle, dive in and swim around, he's not allowed to use much more that a single spray or two. He does get a bit sulky about that on occasion. "I'll just throw them all away then shall I?!" Type of stuff.

When I was pregnant with DS, DH had to cook his breakfast on the bbq and eat it outside because I couldn't stand the smell of bacon and eggs!
He was quite happy to do this.

Of course he was @fedupandlookingforchange, 'cos obviously you married a decent man, & had the foresight to - whod've thunk it?! - Use Your Words so he was able to respond to your distress.

As would any decent partner.
Thank
I despair at what quality of man women are putting up with these days. The patriarchy isn't gonna fix itself by perpetuating their bullshit, & yeah - that includes their "right" to eat toast in front of a gacking gravid wife.

Send him and his toaster out into the garage for the next few months.

ooops trigger finger @fedupandlookingforchange -
Thank you for posting a more realistic & refreshing take on modern marriage than what is seeping between the lines in the depressing thread. Your geezer is a keeper, BBQ & all x

Tell him! Unless he's one of those very strange people who think it's controlling for a pregnant woman to want to avoid vomiting triggers, it shouldn't be a problem. He could take the bread and marmite to work with him, or just eat something else for a while.

@ncagainforfeb My dh loves marmite on toast... so do I... but When I was going through chemo..the smell turned my stomach, I mentioned it in a passing comment .after a few days of struggling and like you not wanting to sound like a nag..... a bit like oh god the smell of that suddenly makes me feel sick... you eat it and I'll be back in when you finished... my dh the poor bugger apologised (not his fault at all!) Finished his toast, opened the window and didnt eat it again untill I started eating it again about a week or two later when strangely it was the only thing I could eat and keep down. Dont know if saying it that way will help and not make you seem like you are being a nag... especially if your throw in dam pregnancy hormones/morning sickness/ anything appropriate, like sorry I know I sound daft/nag.../dh/babe/any pet name if any
Xx

I'd just ask. I went off the smell of toast a bit - to me it started smelling like fags. My other half leaves early for work though and by the time I get down it's quite faint though so I didn't mention it. I would if it were bothering me though.

Good grief! Of course it’s not controlling.

I’m worried that you’re even having to think about this! Do you generally walk in egg shells around him?!

It would be normal just to say ‘OH God that’s making me feel ill. Could you please have something else for breakfast until this stage passes’ and then to try other things.

You’re the one that’s pregnant & enduring all the changes to your body, it’s no big deal for him to have a different breakfast for a bit.

And other than dirty nappies of course you can control other smells in your own home when you have future children.🙄

But yes, I’m concerned you didn’t/couldn’t just say that to your DH without thinking about it?!

It’s a normal enough breakfast to be fair. Hesitate to use the word controlling but it is a bit, isn’t it?

😂😂😂😂

Controlling ffs.

So it's controlling that a pregnant woman is knocked sick by the smell of marmite on toast, she's not even allowed to say 'can you not have toast for your breakfast please?. The smell makes me feel physically ill at the moment due to my pregnancy'

Oh it's no big deal - just tell him. What's he going to say? No?

It'll be something else in a couple of weeks and even so it's not forever; just until the baby arrives.

I couldn't stand the smell of hot food/cooking (ANY hot food) for about a month. Poor DH lived on sandwiches 🤷‍♀️ Nobody died.

There's nothing wrong with asking, FGS! It's not like you're telling him to eat breakfast outside in the snow. Like as not the sensitivity will pass and he'll be able to have his usual breakfast again in due course.

The smell of coffee really did me in during the 1st trimester with DS2. DH stopped using the machine in the mornings and went to the corner store and bought a cup there to drink on the way. No big deal. I'd have done the same if positions were reversed.

I wouldn't see this as a big issue at all. I would just eat something else instead, there are loads of choices and it is only a few months. I would struggle with the no spices, garlic or onions though as almost everything I cook has those in. Toast isn't a big deal.

I still remember being young and my mother cooking liver for my father. I had to leave the house completely for hours. My friend when pregnant couldn't stand the smell of eggs but they were all her young daughter would eat. She actually moved out for a few months because of it. I really sympathise

As others have said OP this is completely normal! The smell of red wine made me feel very ill when I was pregnant, I used to make my ex sleep on the couch if he had been out drinking!

OP I had terrible HG and most smells made me sick... DH gave up coffee for me.
Don’t suffer in silence.

I thought you were going to say BO or something! Toast, I think YABU

I feel for you ! When I had DD had to pass a chip shop on the way to work urghh .Remember one day had to ask DH to pull over and was sick in the kerb ! On the plus side shows all hormones working correctly apparently . Maybe ask him to open window and keep door closed .

If something I ate made my other half feel physically sick I’d be horrified if he didn’t mention it and suffered in silence. It would make me feel like I was a completely unreasonable cow.

Unless you've suffered with smells during pregnancy, it's difficult to understand how awful it is.

I feel for you, OP. I'm not sure what the answer is. I do think you need to explain it to your DH though.

Ask him to try a different brand of bread?

Or crumpets?

It's not the slightest bit controlling or 'nagging' to ask him to temporarily change his breakfast because you have a heightened sense of smell due to pregnancy.

Women get the short end of the stick when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth - you are making physical sacrifices, taking on risk in order to have his baby, and living with pregnancy related issues that far exceed having to temporarily change your breakfast! If he doesn't get that and want to do everything he can to make your life easier, he's a twat.

Just tell him, I'm sure he'll be fine about it. It's a minor temporary change!

Definitely ask him to swap to Weetabix for the next 10 to 12 weeks. Its not a huge thing for him surely.

I remember banning DH from using our cast iron pan when I was pregnant as I could smell the 'ironness' of the metal when it got hot.

And everyone telling the OP that she should put up and shut up because her DH's favourite breakfast is more important that her pregnancy related discomfort...... I have no words. This used to be a supportive site for women!

Her DH won't have to give birth, he won't have any physical impact at all. Having to give up toast for a week or so is nothing compared to what the OP is putting up with.

It can't be helped that women are the ones who get pregnant and give birth, but that doesn't mean they should accept every negative consequence without ever speaking up.

God forbid that men should be anything other than 100% insulated and protected from the issues women face.... the very idea that they would have to make a small adjustment.... How awful for them!

Receptacle - yes!