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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Does this job seem like a big mistake?

126 replies

Alidalivali · 08/02/2020 07:24

I've had a second interview for a new job - it's a senior role with a lot of responsibility, in a highly regulated industry. It would be my first senior management role.

I haven't been offered it yet of course but it went well, and to my knowledge I'm the only current candidate in the process. Trouble is, I can't decide if I'd take it if I was successful.

The pros are mainly that I escape my current job which I hate with a fiery passion it's a great opportunity, a bit more money, small firm which I prefer, will build my experience and extend into new areas as well. Opportunities for more qualifications. Standalone role with autonomy and support from current job holder for a while.

The cons are the 2hr commute each way. Plenty of quiet time on the train for reading, studying, etc, but it makes for a 13 hour day, 5 days a week, where I'm used to working from home 2 days a week with lots of flexibility.

Also, at the 2nd interview the CEO hardly asked me any questions at all. He was mostly on transmit so I heard a long diatribe about the company, and he asked me my opinion on one or two minor points.

I was shown the office, which was beautiful but quiet and clinical - I like bustle and activity. I gather that staff are very "sporty" and they hold sporting social events - I'm 4 stone overweight with a foot problem so I won't fit in to that set. They are all very competitive about qualifications and who has what - I'm not fussed about any of that and don't even have a degree, I'll get a couple more professional ones for credibility but otherwise I'm not bothered.

I asked about "work/life balance" and the CEO was a bit sarcastic, although did say that people worked core hours and there's no competitive working late. But no flexi, which was what I was leading up to.

There seems to be a few red flags but I'm at risk of ignoring them in favour of getting away from my current job and being seduced by the chance for advancement.

Any wise words to stop me either making a big mistake, or alternatively passing up an opportunity over trivial worries?

OP posts:

GiveHerHellFromUs · 08/02/2020 07:27

I don't think the cons are trivial worries.
This job is literally going to change your life.

How much more is 'a bit more money'? Honestly unless the change in money is going to change your lifestyle anyway, I'd pass on this one and look for something more suitable.

Yahboosnubsme · 08/02/2020 07:30

A 2 hour commute each way for a job that doesn't sound amazing for you?

If I was you, I wouldn't go any further in the process.

Raver84 · 08/02/2020 07:33

No for the 2 hour commute. 20 hours a week without any delays on said journey. Honestly fine something closer to home unless you desperately need the extra cash

Original poster

Alidalivali · 08/02/2020 07:33

After paying out for travel, it would be around £500 extra a month. Enough to clear a few small debts over a period of time but nothing life changing.

The opportunity to get that experience is a rare one though - I've been looking for 8 months and had only one other interview. My specialism is no longer in vogue, hence getting some experience in a new area is going to be valuable.

OP posts:

NachoNachoMan · 08/02/2020 07:35

I agree, it might have been ideal if it was 10 minutes drive, but 2 hours train each way is a really long time - and that's without waiting times, delays etc. You may end up hating the job even more than the one you have already. I wouldn't accept.

Original poster

Alidalivali · 08/02/2020 07:39

I do have a bad feeling I would end up hating it. I have done the city commute before, for 2 years - that was 90 mins each way and it never bothered me then. I'd be getting home about half an hour later than I did then.

There was a role 20 mins from home - for literally half the money, less than I'm on now.

OP posts:

IAmTheWigOfTrump · 08/02/2020 07:40

I do a similar job with a similar commute and in summer, the commute is just about bearable but in winter, when you're leaving in the dark and returning in the dark and freezing cold for month upon month it is horrific.

If I didn't need the money so badly, I would throw in the towel tomorrow. A 2 hour commute sounds like a lot of time for quiet reading but I can count on one hand the amount of times my 2 hour commute has gone to plan!

It's the lack of ability to get home quickly that I hate especially on a Friday. And believe me you will really miss no flexi time. My boss is a twat and likes presenteeism and it will get on your nerves if you're used to days at home!

purplelila2 · 08/02/2020 07:40

£500 extra per month isnt to be sniffed at that's a fair bit.

NachoNachoMan · 08/02/2020 07:40

I think you should trust your gut. Why do you dislike your current job?

GiveHerHellFromUs · 08/02/2020 07:41

If you're moving into a senior management role you can guarantee there'll be meetings that run late etc - I wouldn't imagine you'll only be 30 mins later than normal every day.

It sounds like the environment isn't right for you. I understand that the experience would be great but if you only stick it out for 6 months it'll look questionable anyway.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 08/02/2020 07:42

@purplelila depends on the OPs situation. I'm not a big earner but I wouldn't sacrifice my guaranteed hours and reasonably comfortable commute for an extra £500 a month

ZooeyS · 08/02/2020 07:43

I have a comparable commute. However I can also work from home whenever I like (usually two days per week in my case), have a fantastic role with good remuneration and, most importantly, work for an inspiring and progressive business that actually value its people having a proper work/life balance.

Without all if those I would not think the commute worthwhile.

FinallyHere · 08/02/2020 07:47

getting some experience in a new area is going to be valuable.

Before this update, I didn't see why anyone would willingly commute 4hrs / day for a job with that CEO. This is a powerful counter argument.

What ever you do, don't pull out of the interview process or allow them to see your conflicted feelings. If they don't offer you the role, then it all goes away.

How long would you have to stay there to gain that experience ? Would two years do it ? I would consider whether I could live with it for however long is needed. And start looking out of the next job almost immediately.

Good luck.

Original poster

Alidalivali · 08/02/2020 07:47

My current job changed - I got absorbed into a big team (from being a middle manager of a small firm that was acquired) and I'm either ignored or micromanaged. Devalued and disenfranchised!

OP posts:

Snowglobes · 08/02/2020 07:48

I was going to say trust your gut and withdraw your application BUT could this be a stepping stone? Suck it up until you get the experience and professional quals you need and then move on. Your work environment is so important and you really aren’t feeling it are you? But would it be ok short term?

Bisforbert · 08/02/2020 07:49

I could not cope with that commute and lack of flexible working but then I am no longer ambitious. I have found though that my gut feeling has been right regarding every job I have had a bad feeling about but accepted anyway.

Original poster

Alidalivali · 08/02/2020 07:49

FinallyHete that was my thought process - do it for 2 years then move on!

According to their HR team, there would be flexibility to wfh later on.

OP posts:

FinallyHere · 08/02/2020 07:49

ignored or micromanaged

Oh, I'm so sorry, that really is bad luck.

Absolutely, experience in a new area would be good. Hope it goes well for you.

Di11y · 08/02/2020 07:50

hmm, I wonder whether it's worth it for a year to increase your experience? like you said you'll be studying. do you think you could WFH once a week or pay to stay in a hotel twice a month to reduce the commute burden?

it's a big change and it'll be hard but you can still be looking for something suitable closer to home. how do you feel about staying where you are for another 8-12 months?

Froggie13 · 08/02/2020 07:50

I made a similar move, 2 hour commute each way, some extra money. It was fine for a few months but soon got difficult. Quiet time is nice but it does get boring after a while, and I found I was more anxious as there were lots of delays with trains so I'd think about that most of the day! And even though it's down time on the train I was exhausted by Wednesday most weeks and spent weekends catching up on sleep/ everything I was too tired to do in the week. I now work in a job with less money but closer to home / flexible working /wfh. I don't love it but life is so much easier. So my advice - go for work/ life balance.

TigerJoy · 08/02/2020 07:51

Do your best to get an offer. Don't appear conflicted now as others have said.

If and when that happens see if you can negotiate for 2 days working from home a week.

The experience is not to be sniffed at but 4 hrs a day travelling every week is not sustainable

Snowglobes · 08/02/2020 07:52

Cross posted with FinallyHere

notanurse2017 · 08/02/2020 07:53

Two hours commute each way ia a lot. I do it up to twice a week, luckily have a lot of flexibility to work from home as well.

Have you children?

YeOldeTrout · 08/02/2020 07:53

could you stick it a year, get the great experience, and then look around for something that doesn't involve 4 hours commuting/day.

Nymerialuna · 08/02/2020 07:54

I personally would suck up the commute for the oppotunity to widen skills and experience. This would put you in a stronger position in, say, 12 months and you can start looking again for something more local. Especially as the opportunity is rare.
If it will help clear some debts as well then this would be an attractive point for me.
You may find that the company are open to flexible working or WFH days once you are there and settled in and an present the benefits of this to the company. Sustainability is a big thing for companies these days so you could, in the future, approach it from this angle. Obviously they could refuse this but even if they agreed to one day a week this will make it all much more palatable.
However, if you don't think you would fit in then you need to take that into consideration. Would it be possible or feasible to have a day there to get a proper feel of how things are / will be if you took the job?
Good luck in whatever you chose to do.

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