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AIBU?

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Original poster

Does this job seem like a big mistake?

126 replies

Alidalivali · 08/02/2020 07:24

I've had a second interview for a new job - it's a senior role with a lot of responsibility, in a highly regulated industry. It would be my first senior management role.

I haven't been offered it yet of course but it went well, and to my knowledge I'm the only current candidate in the process. Trouble is, I can't decide if I'd take it if I was successful.

The pros are mainly that I escape my current job which I hate with a fiery passion it's a great opportunity, a bit more money, small firm which I prefer, will build my experience and extend into new areas as well. Opportunities for more qualifications. Standalone role with autonomy and support from current job holder for a while.

The cons are the 2hr commute each way. Plenty of quiet time on the train for reading, studying, etc, but it makes for a 13 hour day, 5 days a week, where I'm used to working from home 2 days a week with lots of flexibility.

Also, at the 2nd interview the CEO hardly asked me any questions at all. He was mostly on transmit so I heard a long diatribe about the company, and he asked me my opinion on one or two minor points.

I was shown the office, which was beautiful but quiet and clinical - I like bustle and activity. I gather that staff are very "sporty" and they hold sporting social events - I'm 4 stone overweight with a foot problem so I won't fit in to that set. They are all very competitive about qualifications and who has what - I'm not fussed about any of that and don't even have a degree, I'll get a couple more professional ones for credibility but otherwise I'm not bothered.

I asked about "work/life balance" and the CEO was a bit sarcastic, although did say that people worked core hours and there's no competitive working late. But no flexi, which was what I was leading up to.

There seems to be a few red flags but I'm at risk of ignoring them in favour of getting away from my current job and being seduced by the chance for advancement.

Any wise words to stop me either making a big mistake, or alternatively passing up an opportunity over trivial worries?

OP posts:
Dozer · 08/02/2020 07:54

2 hour commute is too long IMO (have done it in past). Would be to detriment of your quality of life and health, and you mention health issues already

If you do take it would lodge near work for Mon to Thurs nights.

£500 net earnings more on top of travel (presumably would be less if you pay for accommodation) is a lot IMO.

Bouncebacker · 08/02/2020 07:55

Have you looked up how much your commute will cost? In some parts of the country train fairs could easily wipe out your extra £500 per month for four hours on a train each day!

RachelTension · 08/02/2020 07:55

Listen to your gut - I didn't and should have done. Never again will I ignore that, even though on paper the job was everything I wanted.

Trust yourself.

PartTimeEverything · 08/02/2020 07:56

The biggest warning sign to me would be the CEO on transmit. I had an interview like that once - it was a huge mistake. The CEO was absolutely dreadful at managing people, and tested the company like his personal project. It was all about him.

So be wary of what you can actually get out of it if that’s the atmosphere.

If you’re the only candidate for the job then you’re in a strong position to ask for flexible working or compressed hours

FagAsh · 08/02/2020 07:57

I did that commute, it was awful, so awful that I resigned after six months.

If you have children please don’t consider it.

That aside the boss sounds like an ass and I bet you wouldn’t even have the energy to fit in and get all sporty with the others.

Original poster
Alidalivali · 08/02/2020 07:57

No, no children - it's just me and DH, and he could reduce his hours to part time and we could have a dog on the back on my new salary once we'd cleared some debts. He's an excellent house husband, I love it. Smile

I could certainly stick it for a while, south western rail is pretty reliable. In the 2 years I did it before I'd say the journey went tits up half a dozen times?

OP posts:
FagAsh · 08/02/2020 07:58

Because of the commute I mean, or sounds like endurance in every way!! Grin

Original poster
Alidalivali · 08/02/2020 07:58

I did actually think the CEO was somewhat of an ass, yes. Sad

OP posts:
DroppedBoxxedRuth · 08/02/2020 07:58

I don't think even the option of getting more experience would entice me personally to lose flexibility in your situation.

Flexibility has just been taken from me but I had, luckily, negotiated that day off instead of working from home, so it was ok. I work 20 mins from home so I will suck it up for now.

4 hour round commute, never.

ammarry · 08/02/2020 07:59

The 2 hour commute will kill you.

What if you don't get a seat on the train?

Stay where you are and look closer to home.

Also - quiet office with no banter- no way! Sporty and competitive? Hobble for the hills!

ConsiderTheCentre · 08/02/2020 08:00

Is it a possibility to move closer to the new work? You don’t mention any children/dependents.

KatherineJaneway · 08/02/2020 08:00

I'd take it but plan to be gone in 2 years. You've not mentioned your home situation but could you break up the week with a cheap B&B stay?

If you are offered I would negotiate working from home. Assuming they have good IT you can join meetings, chat, collaborate etc from home.

Dozer · 08/02/2020 08:02

Have you done a commute like that before? I have and wouldn’t again.

lastqueenofscotland · 08/02/2020 08:03

Is that £500 pcm before tax? Because that could end up being pretty negligible.
I wouldn’t do a 2 hour commute each way. Not a hope in hell, especially when the work life balance is off there may be no “competitive” staying late but I’d bet my bottom dollar that if you left at say 5pm on the dot every day eyebrows would be raised.

ippdipdo · 08/02/2020 08:03

I wouldn't take it. The commute, the ethos, the atmosphere all sound dreadful. You spend a lot of time at work and need to be happy there.

MsJaneAusten · 08/02/2020 08:03

Is moving an option?

annie9876 · 08/02/2020 08:04

Agree with PPs that £500 is not to be sniffed at but also worth considering is that pre or post tax and ni?

Also you need to consider the additional travel costs.

Personally I would probably take the role, do it for 18 months and if I didn't like it leave. However in terms of wfh I'm very much of the view (and always have been) that if I have the tools to wfh like a laptop and remote connectivity I don't ask my manager to wfh, I tell them I'm wfh if there is a need for me to. My manager is well aware that I'm perfectly capable of managing my own workload and has no issue with me wfh on occasion.

I would also point out I afford my team the same...I don't expect them to ask me if they can wfh...I do expect them to tell me (purely so I don't worry they have been in an accident on the way to work).

It took a while to get them to do this as their previous manager was very much everyone works 9-5 in the office but now I have a team that is no longer disheartened. They know that if their kid has a play they can go to see it, I'm not expecting them to 'work through lunch' to make up the hours or stay late. I trust them to get their job done and if that means one day they wfh and only work a half day I don't care - as long as their work is done I'm a happy manager. They know if they have had a bad nights sleep for whatever reason or simply can't face the commute I don't expect them to trek into the office and am happy for them to log on at home. It makes for a much happier working environment and if I'm honest my team are now much more productive.

If you take the role set your standard out right from the start. Flexible working in terms of locations and hours should now be the norm and I actually think most managers are open to the idea when approached.

Good luck and just remember if it ends up that it's not a great fit, it's not the end of the world. You can always find a new job Smile

VeniVidiVoxi · 08/02/2020 08:04

Can you move? Rent somewhere close to the job even if you just stay midweek. Tbh you're not going to be any use when you get home anyway after such a long day so better to be refreshed for the weekends.

The job does sound like a chance to move on, I'm more a "regret the things you've done" type person rather than risk missing a good opportunity though!

Lojoh · 08/02/2020 08:05

Negotiate - you're in a strong position as you're strongly inclined to turn down their offer. Make this clear and you may get a better one.

Cordial11 · 08/02/2020 08:07

I think you are clouded because you hate your current role (I did the same once before) Please don’t jump to the first thing that comes as you will regret it. Sounds like it would also be impossible to have time for other interviews in the new role to!

Howdidido · 08/02/2020 08:08

As far as social fit goes, with a 2hr commute you probably wont be socialising much with hour team anyway.

Is there the possibility of moving closer? Or moving closer during the week?

Wait until you have an offer and then ask about flexible working. It's not the right time to ask until they've agreed you're. A Valuable candidate.

How old are you? Assuming no kids/family at home, I would do this for a couple of years in my late 20s.

topcat2014 · 08/02/2020 08:08

You couldn't pay me enough to spend hahalf as much titime travelling as I do at work.

You will come to resent the travel.

Teateaandmoretea · 08/02/2020 08:08

Can you move closer? 2 hours on the train each day 😱. That's 20 hours a week 😳. Personally I would choose life. You also don't seem to even feel comfortable with the environment/ culture.

Lockshunkugel · 08/02/2020 08:09

Those worries are not trivial. I wouldn’t take a job to work for a CEO that I didn’t like, sporty staff who are competitive, no flexible working and a two hour commute. Any one of those concerns would put me off.

I think you should keep looking for another job. Is it possible to get a similar job to the one you have now? It would be more of a sideways move but maybe getting experience in another part of your job.

topcat2014 · 08/02/2020 08:09

I wouldn't recruit someone with that commute either