Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does this job seem like a big mistake?

126 replies

Alidalivali · 08/02/2020 07:24

I've had a second interview for a new job - it's a senior role with a lot of responsibility, in a highly regulated industry. It would be my first senior management role.

I haven't been offered it yet of course but it went well, and to my knowledge I'm the only current candidate in the process. Trouble is, I can't decide if I'd take it if I was successful.

The pros are mainly that I escape my current job which I hate with a fiery passion it's a great opportunity, a bit more money, small firm which I prefer, will build my experience and extend into new areas as well. Opportunities for more qualifications. Standalone role with autonomy and support from current job holder for a while.

The cons are the 2hr commute each way. Plenty of quiet time on the train for reading, studying, etc, but it makes for a 13 hour day, 5 days a week, where I'm used to working from home 2 days a week with lots of flexibility.

Also, at the 2nd interview the CEO hardly asked me any questions at all. He was mostly on transmit so I heard a long diatribe about the company, and he asked me my opinion on one or two minor points.

I was shown the office, which was beautiful but quiet and clinical - I like bustle and activity. I gather that staff are very "sporty" and they hold sporting social events - I'm 4 stone overweight with a foot problem so I won't fit in to that set. They are all very competitive about qualifications and who has what - I'm not fussed about any of that and don't even have a degree, I'll get a couple more professional ones for credibility but otherwise I'm not bothered.

I asked about "work/life balance" and the CEO was a bit sarcastic, although did say that people worked core hours and there's no competitive working late. But no flexi, which was what I was leading up to.

There seems to be a few red flags but I'm at risk of ignoring them in favour of getting away from my current job and being seduced by the chance for advancement.

Any wise words to stop me either making a big mistake, or alternatively passing up an opportunity over trivial worries?

OP posts:
Snowman123 · 08/02/2020 08:09

The commute would kill it for me, but that doesnt seem to be bothering you.

The CEO sounds like a bigger problem. In one hand I'm thinking there are Asses no matter where you go, and on the other hand I am thinking you may need to work closely with him to succeed.

I think you should consider this job on its merits, and not the fact something similar may or may not come along.

I took a job for the salary once. It did not end well.

Dozer · 08/02/2020 08:11

Not 2 hours on train a day, 4.

Was the workplace quiet because everyone thinks the CEO is a dick, perhaps? Have seen that.

MincePiesGetInMyBelly · 08/02/2020 08:11

I've learned from bitter experience that the environment, culture and flexibility/empowerment of organisations are worth their weight in gold and a mis-match of these invariably leads to an unhappy experience.

If you really want to use the time to gain some experience in a different area and be gone in two years, is negotiating a more flexible option if you're offered the job possible? You have the leverage at this point.

Yes - they may say no. But to me that's indicative of the culture and things to come.

SummerInSun · 08/02/2020 08:11

Too many posters are thinking too short term, in my view. If this would be the golden opportunity to move to the next level up in your career, then do it (if you get it - good luck!) and suck up the commute for two years or so. Then hopefully you'll have lots more opportunities. If you actually liked your current job, the choice would be a lot more difficult, but as you don't, I'd say go for it.

BoomBoomsCousin · 08/02/2020 08:13

Without children, a two hour commute by train I could quite enjoy if I could be sure of getting a seat at least most of the way. The fact your CEO seems like an ass and was not interested in you and what you thought is a concern. How senior is the role supposed to be? Because if the CEO isn’t that interested now he’s unlikely to be interested when you get there.

Also, what is your field like for job hopping? If you stayed for 18 months and moved on would that be good, OK or bad for your job prospects? It does sound like you may need to take a hit somewhere in order to revitalize your career, but this does not sound like a dream job, so I’d be weary about taking it if you really needed to stay 3+ years to make it worthwhile.

annie9876 · 08/02/2020 08:13

Also with regards to the CEO. Bear in mind how much interaction you would have with him. If it's not a lot I'd take him with a pinch of salt...CEOs in my experience are quite often egotistical and out of touch with what actually happens on a day to day basis in the business. I also wouldn't take the CEOs view of office culture into account....again...out of touch with business culture in most cases!

The CEO at my firm I'm almost 100% sure has no idea who me or my team even are let alone if we are wfh or in the office...and this is even after he meets every new team member at interview! He only sees my team when they have documents for him to sign and quite often these people are nervous going to see him or feel silly for interrupting him so I'm sure he thinks they are all quite little mouselike creatures...the truth is so different. The team are a hoot and have such wonderful personalities!

BoomBoomsCousin · 08/02/2020 08:14

*wary not weary!

collywobblescar · 08/02/2020 08:15

From an outsiders point of view, it sounds like your face won't fit with what you've said about competitive culture etc.

CloudsCanLookLikeSheep · 08/02/2020 08:15

I would not even have applied for a job with a 2 hour each way commute. That's crazy!

Sobeyondthehills · 08/02/2020 08:16

I have done a 2 hour commute it was only meant to be for 6 weeks, turned into nearly a year, by that point I said I would quit if they didn't move me or give me an eyewatering payrise.

They moved me back to where I was, Maybe if I had been driving 2 hours might not have been as bad, but by train where you have no control, at times I was leaving at 5.30am to get there at 9am due to works or strikes or weather or a stick being on the line, for me personally 2 hours is too long and its never a sit down and read a book time because you are always on edge looking at the clock

Pepperama · 08/02/2020 08:16

It sounds like you’d come to hate it very quickly - commute and an environment that doesn’t suit. Why would you spend 13 hrs a day on something that’s unlikely to improve your happiness at work?

Is it fairly easy to keep looking and find something else, or are these jobs few and far between?

myusernamewastakenbyme · 08/02/2020 08:16

I wouldnt do it either....that commute would kill me.....i value my free time more than money.

username58788 · 08/02/2020 08:18

The 2hr commute would be a no no for me but the other stuff wouldn't bother me and if you hate your current job . It's up to you if you don't mind the commute but I suspect 12 months down the line you will hate it .

user14572856389 · 08/02/2020 08:21

I asked about "work/life balance" and the CEO was a bit sarcastic

This plus his diatribe in an interview where they should be looking to make a good impression? Nah. They will be a nightmare to work for.

If the commute wasn't four hours per day it might be worth considering trying to stick it out for a year for the experience, but with it? Nope.

Frying pan into the fire.

dottiedodah · 08/02/2020 08:21

I think a 2 hour commute each way on top of a challenging job is a lot to take on! How unhappy are you in your current post? Could you look for a fresh start in something new somewhere else ? If you are having second thoughts already doesnt really bode well for the future !

BaolFan · 08/02/2020 08:22

I've done this - taken a job with no initial flexibility, 2 hour commute each way and where the CEO was a twat.

Stuck it out for a year and it was the most miserable year of my entire career. I was on my knees by the time I left and it had a serious impact on my health.

My advice would be don't do it.

Djchickpea · 08/02/2020 08:27

In a similar position to you OP in that I am desperate to get out of current role. Although 2 hours is horrendous if you have a supportive husband I would suck it up for CV and senior experience but be planning to move on in 1-2 years

PartTimeEverything · 08/02/2020 08:31

The other thing from y experience of working with the dickhead CEO - on paper it was great experience, but in practice everyone in the industry knew what a dick he was, nobody worked with him more than once, and i now don’t even put it on my cv as I don’t want to be associated with his toxic reputation

Treacletoots · 08/02/2020 08:33

I think you already know the answer. Keep looking. It's not quite right and will only intensify once you're in it with at least 13 hour days.

No flexi time, and sporting events would have been the 'not for me' at that point. The 2nd interview being so one sided also, big issue.

BlimeyCalmDown · 08/02/2020 08:34

getting some experience in a new area is going to be valuable

^I would suck it up for a year or 2 for this reason, you can then move on to somewhere that is more flexible whereas at the moment you are stuck/very limited it seems. If they became more flexible in that time then great just stay but move on with your new found skills and experience if not. Sign up to netflix and watch a film/series on your commute!

WantToBeMum · 08/02/2020 08:36

If they offer you the job then negotiate some things you want, such as working from home and some flexibility.

WantToBeMum · 08/02/2020 08:39

(Pressed send too soon - not finished!)
If they turn down requests or flexibility that's the time to reconsider.
You might end up not liking it but you said you hate your current job so it's a step out of that.
Use it as a stepping stone - give yourself a year to boost your experience, get the qualifications you want, get that extra earning. After a year move somewhere else having got to that senior level.
Good luck 👍🏻

Mamia15 · 08/02/2020 08:42

Can you negotiate terms to include wfh once a week?

Also, you could tell yourself that you will stick it out for 18 months before applying for another job?

Fuckmesideways · 08/02/2020 08:42

Essentially you are giving up 80 hours a month to travel, for £500.

It’d be a no from me. There are too many doubts, which will keep niggling at you.

Who knows, the company might come back to you after you’ve said no, and offer you a couple of days WFH per week or something.

MimiLaRue · 08/02/2020 08:47

I'd never take a job with a daily 4 hour commute. I dont care how great it was, thats 4 hours of my day literally wasted on a daily basis. 1 hour each way would be my absolute limit. Everyone i know who does a very very long commute is miserable with their jobs. I wouldnt do it.