Does this job seem like a big mistake?

[Alidalivali]

I've had a second interview for a new job - it's a senior role with a lot of responsibility, in a highly regulated industry. It would be my first senior management role.

I haven't been offered it yet of course but it went well, and to my knowledge I'm the only current candidate in the process. Trouble is, I can't decide if I'd take it if I was successful.

The pros are mainly that I escape my current job which I hate with a fiery passion it's a great opportunity, a bit more money, small firm which I prefer, will build my experience and extend into new areas as well. Opportunities for more qualifications. Standalone role with autonomy and support from current job holder for a while.

The cons are the 2hr commute each way. Plenty of quiet time on the train for reading, studying, etc, but it makes for a 13 hour day, 5 days a week, where I'm used to working from home 2 days a week with lots of flexibility.

Also, at the 2nd interview the CEO hardly asked me any questions at all. He was mostly on transmit so I heard a long diatribe about the company, and he asked me my opinion on one or two minor points.

I was shown the office, which was beautiful but quiet and clinical - I like bustle and activity. I gather that staff are very "sporty" and they hold sporting social events - I'm 4 stone overweight with a foot problem so I won't fit in to that set. They are all very competitive about qualifications and who has what - I'm not fussed about any of that and don't even have a degree, I'll get a couple more professional ones for credibility but otherwise I'm not bothered.

I asked about "work/life balance" and the CEO was a bit sarcastic, although did say that people worked core hours and there's no competitive working late. But no flexi, which was what I was leading up to.

There seems to be a few red flags but I'm at risk of ignoring them in favour of getting away from my current job and being seduced by the chance for advancement.

Any wise words to stop me either making a big mistake, or alternatively passing up an opportunity over trivial worries?

This isn't making much sense. You want to take this job so your partner can go part time? That is going to wipe out the financial benefit of taking it surely.

The 2 hour commute is the dealbreaker for me. I absolutely wouldn't do it unless I was fully agreed with my family that if I had settled in well after a year, we would move to within 20 mins or so of the job.

Hmm, no kids, maybe do it for 18 months for the experience/cv/cash but start looking for something different in a year. Also if you dont have a degree and the industry expects one then that’s going to become a bigger and bigger issue as time goes on. What you can get done on a 2-hour commute is going to depend on how many changes you have to make and whether you can reliable get a seat on the train: a reliable hour sitting would be ok for studying but lots of faffing and standing woudn’t.

Staying for 2 years sounds a good plan

Gain the experience and CV, then use it as a stepping stone to job hunt after say 18 months for something that ticks all your boxes

The pros outway the cons, imo:

Leaving your current toxic job asap
Getting some experience in a new area, because your old is no longer very marketable
Higher takehome pay - also important for career progression

You've a flexible OH, no kids or dependent older relatives,
so now is the time to do it,
before life / health / family rules out this kind of option

How much more money? For a 2 hour each way commute I would expect either a big pay rise or some sort of upskilling opportunity that would pay off quickly.

I work on short term contracts all over the country and ALWAYS rent somewhere local for the duration. I don't know how much your rail fares would be but as you'd be travelling at peak times, you could then take that figure out of the equation to help off set the cost of accommodation A long term studio rental might also work out cheaper than a Monday - Thursday rental. If the job is genuinely worth doing for the experience and your long term career goals then I would forget about the extra £500 a month and spend a bit extra to preserve my sanity.

If you're going to have to go into the office 5 days a week and spend a good chunk of time with colleagues then the corporate culture is very important - more than you think (or pssibly not given your current situation).

Between the travel time and the prospect of presentee-ism, a ranty style boss and any any other kind competitiveness you might be jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.

try the train journey at the times you would be taking it: can you get a seat, it is reliably on time?
2hrs each way every day is a serious amount of time!!
Sometimes you have to/want to stay late at work, not always able to finish at xpm on the dot. How will you manage to fit in appts like dentist/doctor etc?! If you miss the train how long to await the next one.
How will you manage if trains have issues, can you work from home?
It's tiring commuting!!
You're going to spend a significant portion of your time standing around on windy/cold/wet train platforms, thinking about lots of things you'd rather be doing! Lovely long summer evenings.....you'll be stuck in a sweaty train carriage!
20hrs a day commuting each week!!!! And does this include travel home- station and station- work?
Your gut will tell you whether this is do-able for you. Listen to it!

"How much more money?" read the thread.
Op, with no children, being in a toxic job, extra money and the opportunity to develop new skills it does sound as if it might be worth the effort, even if you have a plan to move on in a certain timescale.

Go in, accept the terms and see how it goes. You never know, when you've been there a while and have shown your worth there may come opportunities for some working at home or similar. But plan for the worst.

As the only candidate you are in a strong position. If the offer you the job, ask for more money and one wfh day a week. Chances are, if they really want you and have invested time in the process, they'll agree. Good luck!

*I've done this - taken a job with no initial flexibility, 2 hour commute each way and where the CEO was a twat.

Stuck it out for a year and it was the most miserable year of my entire career. I was on my knees by the time I left and it had a serious impact on my health.

My advice would be don't do it.*

I could have written this. Seconding don't do it!

I wouldn't take it. Not with a daily 4hr commute.

I'm home based, when not travelling, but could be in central London in just over 2hrs from home and have been offered positions based there which would be a net £2k per month increase, after season ticket and parking. But I won't even consider it.

It really is a huge amount of your life you'd be losing to commuting.

As you have reservations about accepting the job if it was offered anyway, you’d have nothing to lose by asking for conditions to suit yourself - ie, working from home 2 days a week, etc. They can only say no.

Depends. If your pay now is £500 and the extra £500 would double your pay - yes I would do it. If your pay is £90,000, then no. I would not.

2 hr commute each way = 4 hours a day, that means if you work 250 days a year, an extra of 1000 hours of travel by train a year, for £500. That’s 0.50p an hour.

Sounds like you’ve had experience commuting before so you can compare the ‘extra’ commute time per day and how tiring that might be versus being in your current job that you hate.
If they want you and you’re a bit on the fence then maybe you can get them to agree one day WFH from the start and you can have one day that you stay nearby so you take the pressure off the commute a bit.
I’d come up with scenarios that make you think whether it is doable or not and think about whether you’d like to work with this company more than your current one.
And definitely set a target of eg 2 years to get the required experience and look to move on to somewhere closer.

I wouldn't take it. Mostly due to the commute, the other cons are unproven and "fear of the unknown" but the 4 hour chunk of travelling is fact. You'll have no life during the week.

I wouldn't take the job based on the 4 hour commute each day!

I have read about links between long commutes and decreased life satisfaction. It's soul sucking. If you add in the commuting time as part of work life, are you really being paid much more, if you broke it down per hour? I wouldn't take a job with a two hour commute each way under any circumstances.

south western rail is pretty reliable

Not lately - we are on their London suburban line but have noted so many cancellations and delays on the longer distance trains recently. We can at least use alternative work arounds ( bus/tube) but you are a bit stuffed when, for example, the Portsmouth line is one long list of cancellations

I missed the bit about the awful CEO and no flexibility initially.

DO. NOT. TAKE. THIS. JOB.

From my experience, the behaviour of the CEO will permeate the company, everything comes from the top. In addition if there is no flexibility, you'll find yourself feeling anxious whenever the train arrives late.

I had a job once where my boss hated that I worked 8-4. Every single time I started packing up to go, he'd give me pursed lips with a disapproving look. Whenever I had appointments (doctor, dentist, children), I always had to take annual leave, even if I'd arranged it so I'd leave half an hour early. If you are likely to have any local appointments, bear in mind that you will have to take annual leave if you're not allowed to work from home.

Worst job I ever had despite a very high salary, as I always felt on edge.

One consideration is how old you are and whether this actually would give you the experience that you need to be able to move on quickly. Would it just be a step in a longer career. If you do gain more experience are there jobs closer to home that you could apply for?

If offered the job could you negotiate 1or 2 days at home and stay over in B&B 2 or 3 nights?

Are you sure the offer of training and experience will materialise and how will you fit in with a sporty competitive environment. Are the team a similar age to you, there seems to be a lot of negatives.

And you won’t Get to see much of your DH or the imaginary dog.

So many useful replies - sorry, was busy yesterday so haven't been back to thread until now.

I am minded to decline any offer for now and see if they come up with anything, but to put a few things into context;

The increase in net pay, so after tax and NI, is £1200pm. I took £450 off for the monthly cost of my season ticket, £150 off for monthly parking pass, and £100 pension contribution, leaving me with the £500 extra to put towards clearing a few debts. To the PP who pointed out that increasing my salary in order for DH to go part time made no financial sense, I meant he could go part time once my increase had cleared some debt and freed up some disposable income.

I am 47 and have a chronic foot problem after injuring it on the first day of a new London commute, 5 years ago (hurtling down 17 flights of steps at Bank)! I've just had an operation on it, fingers crossed it works.

Yes I have commuted before, it was a bit shorter overall than this one as I have moved house. Original commute was 7 min drive to station, 1 hr 10 mins on train, 5 mins tube ride, 8 min walk (1 hour 30). This commute is 14 min drive, 1 hr 20 min on train, 8 min tube ride, 2 min walk (1 hr 44). So in fact, only a few mins longer in total, and the office is a bit nearer the tube station. I'm quite far out so getting a seat in the morning is no problem - coming back in rush hour is murder though, might have to stand for 25 mins to Woking if the timings are tight and I can't get to the train early doors. Yes, I'd forgotten about the current problems at Eastleigh causing cancellations!

CEO struck me as a bit of a dick and the 2nd interview was really one sided, however - he is close to retirement and there is a succession plan. His deputy is younger, far more pleasant and tried to ask me more questions when he could get a word in.

The sporty competitive culture is very off-putting, I can't lie. But maybe it would spur me on to lose this bloody weight and get fitter, which would help my foot I suppose. They also encourage a policy of no eating or taking private calls at desks - not as in you can't eat or take a call or send a text, but so people take proper breaks and go and do personal stuff in a break out area (when I was shown the office at 1pm there were a few people milling around in a very flash, well equipped dining area), and eat lunch properly rather than being tied to their screens.

Potential to move - we have talked about relocating to a cheaper area with a shorter commute in to London anyway, so we haven't ruled it out. My DM has Alzheimer's and is in residential care nearby, but I could relocate her too possibly - a bit of upheaval but not completely out of the question. Her care fees might be cheaper too.

My current job is field based - so I might be home a couple of days a week, but the rest of the time I am on site with clients. They could be anywhere from 30 mins to a 4 hour drive away or in London; I am always on site for a minimum of 6 hours; and you are "switched on" in consultant mode all day, no mental respite and no breaks (often no food). I regularly stay away from home, sometimes all week if I'm flying north from Southampton.

The opportunity to get this experience - and exposure to senior management - is really important, as I'm not getting any younger and my current niche is no longer very marketable.

But...if I were to stay where I am I can slowly get more experience in the wider areas, albeit with a firm I despise and being away from home a fair bit, whilst being treated like an non-entity/expendable resource for £20k pa less...

Ok. So move and take it, you clearly want it deep down!

2hr commute is not worth it for any job.

From your update I'd take it. Get it in writing in your offer letter that WFH will be revisited. Sounds like the CEO is a bit of a dinosaur and his replacement will likely have a more modern approach to flexible working.

This sounds like a good opportunity to get the experience you need but plan to be gone in 2 or so years. The commute will be tough but you can do things like a cheap Travelodge or B&B stay to help break up the week.