AIBU to not like my brother sleeping on the sofa?

[LotusInspired]

A bit of background...I just moved out of my Mums as I bought my own house about 4 months ago and I have a dear older brother who visits me occasionally and sleeps over for a night or two when he does.

So basically, I have a guest room done up with fresh beddings and my daughter even insisted on showing him before she went to sleep (hint hint)

I also told him that the bed was nice and comfy (hint hint hint) but he still chose to sleep on the sofa again. 🙄

Btw The culture we come from is all focussed on respect for your older ones and so if I blatantly told him I worried it might bruise his ego as he might feel I’m bossing him around cos it’s my house.

I’m not angry but really don’t get it...I’m not being precious about my new sofa but he is a really big guy and my daughter wakes up really early and he doesn’t. I would want her to see his morning wood and ask what’s that 😕

Is it one of those things that I should just ignore?

I'm glad you've taken things in hand, op. It is your house.

I read this: " would want her to see his morning wood and ask what’s that 😕" first time and have just revisited your opening post. It seems rather crude, frankly. Why would his willy be on display? I've seen men in bed just waking up in the morning before now without that as have most of us.

It was a weird comment especially from you who was trying to be very sensitive towards your brother.

What's with the "hint, hint" business? Surely you just need to say "I've made the guest room up for you, here, let me take your bag up"

"Dear Brother, we love having you stay here but it would be better if you sleep in the guest room so we can have the use of downstairs in the morning. Please would you sleep there whenever you visit us."

Where did he end up tonight? If on your couch, I suggest your daughter really does need to catch up on her practise first thing. She does anyway, wherever he slept.

Get her to practice her piano when she wakes.
have you thought about encouraging her to take up playing the bagpipes?

Why is he dossing staying at your house so frequently? Tell him that he is not welcome to stay over unless he uses the spare room - and it's your home, if you or your daughter want to vacuum/play piano/watch breakfast TV at 7am, you shouldn't have to tiptoe around the ignorant prat.

Who accepts not being able to use the living room in their own house until midday because of a man with a fragile ego on the sofa? Stop being a doormat in your own home. Your daughter is watching.

@joystir59, if you're so concerned about the site rules you should read the one about troll hunting.

Did he stay last night, OP? Where did he sleep?

Morning Ladies, yes he slept in the guest room.

I really need to learn to be more assertive
I just always find myself thinking about how to not hurt the feelings of others.

Anyways, the little one was happily practicing at 7am and we had breakfast at the dining table ...all is good in the universe

Tell him that you've made up the guest bed FOR HIM TO SLEEP IN as you don't want him being disturbed by your DD in the morning. Be specific about him sleeping in the guest bed.

Good to hear, OP :)

Well done @LotusInspired

Hello @LotusInspired, & well done you.

I really need to learn to be more assertive
Hey - you just did.

All you need now is more practice, & the Anne Dickson book on Assertiveness linked upthread :)

Excellent result, Lotusinspired.

marnie76 just like having my brother around, couldn't care less where he sleeps. Life's too short to worry about nonsense