AIBU to not like my brother sleeping on the sofa?

[LotusInspired]

A bit of background...I just moved out of my Mums as I bought my own house about 4 months ago and I have a dear older brother who visits me occasionally and sleeps over for a night or two when he does.

So basically, I have a guest room done up with fresh beddings and my daughter even insisted on showing him before she went to sleep (hint hint)

I also told him that the bed was nice and comfy (hint hint hint) but he still chose to sleep on the sofa again. 🙄

Btw The culture we come from is all focussed on respect for your older ones and so if I blatantly told him I worried it might bruise his ego as he might feel I’m bossing him around cos it’s my house.

I’m not angry but really don’t get it...I’m not being precious about my new sofa but he is a really big guy and my daughter wakes up really early and he doesn’t. I would want her to see his morning wood and ask what’s that 😕

Is it one of those things that I should just ignore?

Just tell him to sleep in the bed like a normal person. Back it up with pointing out you don’t want your living room used as a bedroom with the associated untidiness, funkiness and awkwardness in the mornings.

If you continue to let him stop over I would make a point of nagging him to go to bed, getting up during the night and starting your day early.

Just tell him to get up when your DD does. Wake lots of noise etc. If he complains say “You could of stayed in the guest bedroom and not be disturbed but you decided to be awkward.” He’ll get the hint. Failing that just say to him he can’t sleep on the sofa, and if he does insist then insist he goes sleeps on his own sofa at home.

One minute your culture prevents you telling him to sleep and spare room but you're happy to mention his 'morning wood'. But weird you would feel comfortable.mentioning this??

Tell him your daughter is getting up earlier these days and that she'll wake him. Tell him he can sleep in spare room from now on. TELL him, no matter what your "culture" is. It's your house.

You're worried about your DD seeing him in a compromising position (weird, but ok) yet you're too afraid to put a stop to it? Step up and be a parent to her.

It’s weird that you’re so casually discussing your brothers morning erection.

I agree, discussing your brothers possible erection is very very weird

Didge01 what you preferred him sleeping on your sofa to the spare bed?? Because that is what the thread is about.

Yes very odd mentioning of your brothers morning glory.

Just tell him. We had a friend who used to do this. I didn't want someone sweating and dribbling on my sofa all night. Plus we could only get to the kitchen via the living room. I said one day i had set up the spare room. He tried his usual "oh dont worry I'll sleep on the sofa". I was quite firm "no please use the guest room, its much more convenient for us and we don't like people sleeping on the sofa". Job done.

It’s weird that you’re so casually discussing your brothers morning erection.

This!!!

My dc told me their df's house stunk because the lazy fucker slept on the sofa every night..
Grim.

FGS - stop being so wet! It's your house. Just tell him he has to sleep in the spare room if he stays over. End of.

Thanks for all the comments! I told him o had made the bed in the guest room and it was nice and cosy. I also don’t think it’s more comfortable on the sofa that the bed so I’m really perplexed

Just. Tell. Him. To. Sleep. In. The. Bed.

You aren't going to get what you want here because you insist on hinting at it, not TELLING him. He isn't getting your veiled hints is he? so I'm not sure what you think we can advise?

As others have said, you need to TELL HIM he is not to sleep on the sofa. All the hints in the world about how great the bed is aren't working so fcking tell him- the sofa is out.

If you aren't willing to do that, then you are going to have to put up with it i'm afraid.

In what culture can you never possibly tell your brother not to sleep on your sofa but you are fine casually discussing his cock?

In what culture can you never possibly tell your brother not to sleep on your sofa but you are fine casually discussing his cock?

This is a very good point lol

Reported. Your sexual comments about this 'big guy' and your dd are extremely concerning.

Morning wood? What an odd comment to make about your brother

I would want her to see his morning wood and ask what’s that

Nice typo

How old is your daughter? If under four and he won't take the hint, I would tell him that she keeps weeing on the sofa. Or take the cushions up to bed with you when you go to sleep because they are so comfy you like to put them on top of your mattress 🤣

Is he falling asleep in the lounge because he is watching telly in there? In which case take up the remotes as well.

So you are trapped between your need to have your home respected by a guest, and you culture that says you would be a bad person to actually tell him not to sleep on the sofa.

Only you know how telling your brother not to sleep on the sofa would make you feel. Most people on here will be outraged that you dont feel you can ask him and that he hasn't respected your clear wishes, but we're not walking in your shoes.

In what culture can you never possibly tell your brother not to sleep on your sofa but you are fine casually discussing his cock?

If your culture absolutely prevents you from insisting your brother sleeps in the guest room then it seems as if there isn’t a solution to your problem. The only way round I can think of is to get rid of the sofa and replace it with armchairs.