To be mad at my DH?

[MTGGamer]

First time poster, long time lurked so please bear with me.

My DH has been unwell this week, to the point he has been essentially bed bound and sleeping for 5-6 days. This is the poorliest I have ever seen him (together 8 years, married 5) and I do not begrudge him this. However, the events of the last 48 hours have upset me A LOT and I need to know whether or not IBU.

Wednesday: tell DH to call GP or NHS 111 during day while I am at work. Arrive home from work with grumpy 14m old baby, he has not done this. I call, get him OOH appt and basically force him to go. Doctors recommend admitting to hospital for tests, DH refuses to wait for a bed (Not too mad at this, he was advised 6 hour wait).

Thursday: Again doesn't get out of bed all day, DS has cut new tooth so is thoroughly miserable, I am really struggling. Feel forced into the decision to have my DS have his 1st overnight away as DH won't even watch him for 10 minutes so I can shower. Cried my eyes out but sent DS to my parents.
Feel ill myself. No sleep, throwing up, generally exhausted. Cue 1am: DH comes in, lights on, tells me he's called an ambulance for himself and to get up and get dresses. Paramedics come, do tests and recommend hospital and AGAIN DH refuses to go. Both try to get some sleep, I'm working at 8am. DH comes in and wakes me at 5:30am for a cuddle and then tries to start getting frisky, less than 4 hours after paramedics and after I've had no sleep and been sick! I am annoyed, tell him no chance and try to sleep He then gets annoyed at me for ' not checking on him before I left for work ' (Which I did) and pulls the 'if you're mad, it wasn't that long ago that i had paramedics here telling me to go to hospital.' card. Which made it worse.

I have basically been doing everything this last week and, while I appreciate he is poorly, AIBU in thinking he's acted like an arsehole, not only in his treatment of me but also forcing me to make a huge decision re: DS I wasn't quite ready for and not seeming to care about my feelings? (I just got 'How are you?' with no major compassion)

He’s behaving rather stupidly.
It would be interesting to know why OOH doc and paramedics both recommended hospital for him though... yet he felt well enough to be frisky?!

Your husband is an idiot for wasting the hospital and paramedics time. Why would he not go into hospital if that was the medical advice?

Why didn't you just put the baby in a cot for 10 minutes while you showered?

For additional information, baby is incredibly clingy, running fevers on and off through the day and not well himself meaning putting him down at all is tough. Plus, he has yet to sleep through the night and I usually cosleep with him. He is usually a very happy baby and will play quite contently on his own, but there is no safe space to leave him if you need to leave the room. The cot is in the room where my DH was sleeping and he wouldn't even entertain the idea of watching him.
I had to make the call as I was burnt out, struggling to do the basic tasks and running on fumes after a busy week at work and getting no support to look after our son. I needed a bit of time to just rest and recover, and help look after my DH. This seems like flu but at the least, he has lost his voice, bad cough, fevers, weak, no appetite, aches everywhere and migraines. His immune system is taking a battering as he's had a chest infection in early January, gout in early Feb and now this. I've been taking a lot of the strain for months.

At least I know I'm not being a complete twat for being angry at a sick person.

What a waste of NHS resources. I hope you've withdrawn all offers of cups of tea and running round after him.

You're not being unreasonable. He's being at least weird and inconsiderate, if not deliberately nasty.

As you're ill too, can you get somebody to come over for parts of the weekend to support both of you?

I can remember being really ill and wanting cuddles nobody wanted to give me (to avoid getting ill themselves) so I can sort of see why he might want sex whilst ill (though surprised given he was ill enough to call an ambulance shortly before hand). I don't know what the solution is for helping him feel comforted but disturbing your sleep isn't on (unless he's at so ill he needs to go to hospital).

Your DH seems to be just enjoying the drama to me. I'd have been furious too.

Calling himself an ambulance but refusing to go to the hospital is a total waste of resources and smacks of a ridiculous level of attention seeking.

He really can't be that ill if he felt like being frisky just hours later.

Is he always such a drama llama?

Is he usually a bit of a twat or is this out of character for him? If the latter, I’d be worried that he’s so unwell it’s affecting his behaviour. Could be septic.

If he was mine, he’d definitely be needing a ambulance....

He's a knob for not going to hospital when he's been advised to go twice

as far as im concerned if hes well enough to attempt to get a leg over hes well enough to get up and go to work, its not like it is the "manflu"

I read threads like this and wonder why on Earth anybody bothers with a man ever. They’re all disgusting, selfish pigs and thus one is just vile. Calls an ambulance and then tries sex! Prick.

Your dh May be Ill but that’s no excuse for thus behaviour. If he can perk up for sex, he can have a baby for an hour or two. He’s wasting valuable medical resources which imo makes him an absolute scumbag.

Well dh can’t be that unwell or he wouldn’t be wanting sex! What an absolute idiot!! I’d be furious.

Kick him on his gouty toe..

If he's got flu he needs to stop wasting precious NHS resources, drink plenty of fluids, take paracetamol and stay in bed. I very much doubt he does have flu if he's up for sex tho. Can you join DC in staying at your DPs'? Then take a long hard look at your relationship...

He sounds like an attention seeker if you are not careful you will get sucked in to this way of life.
I've been there, utterly exhausted with a baby , it brought me to rock bottom. Your parents sound supportive , if I were you I would pack for a few days and stay with your parents while you work out a plan for the future.

If he was successful initiating sex I’m sure he would have made OP do all the work.

Unfortunately arseholes who are sick are still arseholes, except usually they’re then even bigger arseholes.

I’m so cross this twat wasted an ambulance call out

If he is that I'll how can he manage sex!!!

Pulling a few fast ones if you ask me.

Why did he bother with an ambulance if he had no intention of following their advice? What did he think they'd do? Stay by his bedside and doctor him?? He sounds an idiot on this front alone!

So called a ambulance then refused to go to hospital, so basically wasting paramedics time . Then hours later wants sex !! He's not ill . Tell him to do one with the dramatics the selfish sod .

Is he better then? If he’s after a shag? I hope if he’s well enough for sex, he’s also up, cleaning the house and making your breakfast.

Twat.

He’s being an arse and doing nothing to help himself. I don’t know where you find the patience, being poorly is no excuse to be an arse.

I have no time for big attention seeking babies. Calling an ambulance and refusing to go to hospital is when I would have left.

If he was that unwell he would have gone to hospital and not wasted an an ambulance call out.

If he’s feeling frisky then he’s not dying.

YANBU.

He's twice refuses medical advice to go to hospital.
Twice wakes you up once for sex.
He refuses to watch his own child while you take a quick shower?
Seriously, get out while you still can, you are married to a fucking immature spoilt little boy