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AIBU?

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Original poster

DP still hasn't opened expensive birthday presents!

112 replies

twuntfreezone · 07/02/2020 18:55

am i being unreasonable/over sensitive/precious/immature (fill in the gaps!) to be hurt that my partner still hasn't plugged in /set up /taken out of the chuffing box the expensive smart tv i bought him for his birthday (and other gifts) telling me when i protest that he "likes to 'SAVE' things and open them at some other(???) point??!
he says it's something he wanted, and acted thrilled at it, but 3 weeks later he hasn't even taken it out of its box to see if it even WORKS??! i did ask him to at least plug it in as if it's faulty (though it's brand new, jvc, from Amazon prime) i would need to know within a certain amount of time in order to send it back, but still need hasn't bothered.
it seems to me he can't really be that "thrilled" with it or surely he'd have been eager to set it up and start enjoying it??!... my finances are EXTREMELY limited, which he's aware of, but i was SO EXCITED to get him such a great quality present and if it was me I'd have probably injured myself in my unbridled excitement to rip it open and start using it!! i realise we're all different, but he does know how i am, so i can't help being hurt that he seems so non plus'd by it...am i being a big girls blouse???

OP posts:
Chloemol · 07/02/2020 19:20

Do you live together? If so set it up yourself

LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook · 07/02/2020 19:22

I wouldn't want a TV for my birthday that's a household item, might as well have bought him a washing machine

RositaEspinosa · 07/02/2020 19:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WalkingDeadTrainee · 07/02/2020 19:25

If so set it up yourself

You don't go and set up someone else's present because you feel they are taking too long. Before as a part of the surprise is reasonable.

Just tell him he needs to check if it's ok so you can deal with it if not. That's it. It's his present and it's up to him what and when he will do with it now.

TreatMyself · 07/02/2020 19:25

Has he already got a tv?

CrazyToast · 07/02/2020 19:32

I'd be a bit miffed about that too. Seems like they aren't bothered about the gift. Maybe just let it go, though, not worth too much stressing over.

coconuttelegraph · 07/02/2020 19:33

I wouldn't want a TV for my birthday that's a household item, might as well have bought him a washing machine

Really? In my house an expensive smart TV would not be seen as equivalent to a washing machine, they are totally different categories of electrical items aren't they?

collywobblescar · 07/02/2020 19:33

I'm like this to an extent, I like things to be all nice and new - like a handbag or make up but not a bloody tv

Monsterjam · 07/02/2020 19:34

Oh I’m like your DP. I have Christmas stuff waiting to be unboxed, carefully inspected and then maybe used, I love waiting till I’m in just the right mood to get them out the packaging and really enjoy things

MatildaTheCat · 07/02/2020 19:35

YANBU but I sometimes do this a bit with presents. It’s an odd sort of need to let something sink in to my life a bit.

Not explaining it very well, sorry.

BronteSisters · 07/02/2020 19:44

I know how you feel. I bough DH an expensive 3D printer for Christmas. He's always wanted one. When poking through the box he couldn't find a small part so I told him to go through it, make a note of anything that's missing and I will contact the supplier. He just hasn't bothered and now it's a couple of months since I bought it so far too late to do anything about it. I would have done it except a) it's his present to go through and b) those things are bloody complicated and I wouldn't know what I was looking for. He does though.

TheGirlWithAPrince · 07/02/2020 19:46

but surely he wants to use the tv :S why doesnt he want to replace his? i would just ask him outright and then return it if he doesnt want to use it. no point having a tv sat in a box

pictish · 07/02/2020 19:46

My dh has Asperger’s, though you wouldn’t know it to meet him. It takes him ages to get round to new things like this. The mood has to be right. I used to think he was unappreciative but it’s not that...he just absorbs new things in his own time.

Dragonembroidery · 07/02/2020 20:06

If money is tight, why buy a TV. I assume he already has one. Eastenders isn't much different on old or new TV.

Was it for computer games?

I buy my DH chocolates, usually a funny mug (which then goes in cupboard to be used by all and add to family collection), and sometimes a jumper or nice shirt, for his birthday. I suppose I'd buy computer game if he was into them. TV is too much imo.
Sorry

Silvercatowner · 07/02/2020 20:10

I wouldn't want a TV for my birthday

But.... you aren't OP's husband are you? What on earth have your gift preferences got to do with this thread?

Sparklybanana · 07/02/2020 20:13

You have limited finances and bought him an expensive present? Perhaps he feels thoroughly awkward and would have preferred something he actually wanted and much cheaper?
My friend got super excited about buying her oh a very expensive present that he would love but when he saw it, he refused to take it as he knew how expensive it was. She ended up taking it back and doing something much smaller. Why don’t you ask him if he’d prefer something else as you’re happy to return it if not. Unless you bought him a tv because YOU want it and he’s not setting it up because he realises that and he’s doing it to piss you off?

cowfacemonkey · 07/02/2020 20:14

Yup I'm in the "mood has to be just right camp". I still haven't used my brand new oven which has been sitting in my beautiful new kitchen for over a week because the mood hasn't been right to cook something nice (and learn how to operate it). I anticipate setting the mood over this weekend at some point.

Hadtoask · 07/02/2020 20:19

I just opened some of my Christmas gifts last night funnily enough. I was so overwhelmed with the gifts that I couldn’t open before. I know that the gift giver was a bit hurt but it’s not that I’m not interested. I’m so hugely grateful. I also bought my son a big fancy smart tv that is in the box still. I totally get why he hasn’t opened it and I’m fine with that. A couple of years ago it was a PlayStation and games that were unopened for months. I was worried that I should get a refund and thought he wasn’t interested. I know now that he was just overwhelmed and I really understand it now. In your case I wouldn’t be annoyed with him but I would just check with him that he really likes it and ask whether he would rather take it back because you are not sure. You have probably said all of this already! Gift giving and receiving is really fraught with emotion in some cases.

Leflic · 07/02/2020 20:21

Rude.
Open it up, plug it in, turn it on, have a go, whatever

Unless you plan to sell it.
He clearly hates it.

But ..,,,dies he resent you for buying a present he hates or us he glossing over it because he loves you?

GabsAlot · 07/02/2020 20:26

Seems odd just say again youre on a time limit to have it returned incased there something wrong so could he please just test it

Mossyfern · 07/02/2020 20:26

I also like to be in just the right mood to open new things. Ideally when I'm not too tired or likely to be disturbed.

Bluntness100 · 07/02/2020 20:27

Op do you live together? How long have you been together? Do you normally buy each other expensive presents like this?

Bluntness100 · 07/02/2020 20:28

But.... you aren't OP's husband are you

So far we don't know that he is either.

MabelMoo23 · 07/02/2020 20:29

My DH does this. He's still got presents that are in a carrier bag after Christmas and I admit (rightly or wrongly) I feel a bit hurt by it

june2007 · 07/02/2020 20:33

I would set it up. If DP says anything, say you nedde to see if it worked.

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