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AIBU?

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Original poster

DP still hasn't opened expensive birthday presents!

112 replies

twuntfreezone · 07/02/2020 18:55

am i being unreasonable/over sensitive/precious/immature (fill in the gaps!) to be hurt that my partner still hasn't plugged in /set up /taken out of the chuffing box the expensive smart tv i bought him for his birthday (and other gifts) telling me when i protest that he "likes to 'SAVE' things and open them at some other(???) point??!
he says it's something he wanted, and acted thrilled at it, but 3 weeks later he hasn't even taken it out of its box to see if it even WORKS??! i did ask him to at least plug it in as if it's faulty (though it's brand new, jvc, from Amazon prime) i would need to know within a certain amount of time in order to send it back, but still need hasn't bothered.
it seems to me he can't really be that "thrilled" with it or surely he'd have been eager to set it up and start enjoying it??!... my finances are EXTREMELY limited, which he's aware of, but i was SO EXCITED to get him such a great quality present and if it was me I'd have probably injured myself in my unbridled excitement to rip it open and start using it!! i realise we're all different, but he does know how i am, so i can't help being hurt that he seems so non plus'd by it...am i being a big girls blouse???

OP posts:
CountTessa · 07/02/2020 20:33

If he's not interested, return it....

But why did you do that?

Well you clearly didn't want it.

Buy a t-shirt or something instead that he will like. S

HavenDilemma · 07/02/2020 20:35

Send it back OP. Treat yourself to something really nice with the cash

SonEtLumiere · 07/02/2020 20:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JaniceBattersby · 07/02/2020 20:48

I do this. My worry would be that stuff like this is a ballache to set up, hang on the wall etc. I’d love it once I’d done it but I’d be overwhelmed by the techy effort needed to sort it out. I keep new phones in the box for months too.

Shinycat · 07/02/2020 20:50

@twuntfreezone Did your DP ask for this TV for a Christmas gift? It seems like a VERY odd gift to buy for someone.

My friend's DH raved and rattled on about an amazing gift he had got for her for Christmas (in 2017.) He banged on about it for about 2 months.

Then on Christmas day, he gave her her gifts. It was a £700 stereo/radio/CD player, that she had not asked for, and did not want or need.

She already had a perfectly functioning stereo (£50 from Argos) that did the job, and he had bought it on his credit card, but then used £700 of their savings to pay the credit card off!

She was steaming, and really pissed off, and even 2 years later, she says she 'hates looking at the stupid bloody thing.' Frankly, it's no more use than the £50 Argos one, as they live in a small 2 bed terraced house (so she can't have it on loud and make the most of the 'fancy speakers..)

So if your DP did not ASK for this item, then YABVVU.

MrsFrankDrebin · 07/02/2020 20:51

Your Oh should be grateful for your thoughtfulness! My Oh once got me a sieve (I kid you not) for one birthday because 'I thought you said you needed one'. 🙄 Tell him how flipping lucky he is - but all joking aside, if he doesn't appreciate your generosity you have some thinking to do 😕

AlternativePerspective · 07/02/2020 20:52

I wouldn't want a TV for my birthday that's a household item, might as well have bought him a washing machine on what planet is a smart tv comparable to a washing machine?

That being said it’s horses for courses isn’t it? Over the years I have had as Christmas presents:

A set of saucepans
A waffle maker
A set of ramekins in a fancy tray you could put the water in iyswim
A pasta machine
Kitchenaid,
Food processor....

I am the world’s most difficult person to buy for but I am an avid cook, so when I need something I just ask for it as Christmas/birthday presents. Family used to feel odd about it but if it’s what I want and it comes to good use then what’s the issue?

I think that not opening presents from a partner for weeks is rude. And I would be saying to him “well as you clearly didn’t like this present I’m going to send it back.” And then don’t bother in future.

I think that not using something is a good sign that it’s not wanted. My ex was constantly buying me sexy underwear for his benefit, it took him over ten years to get the message.... Grin.

Conversely though i bought him such things as tickets to a sporting event, which he was thrilled with but pissed off at me because I hadn’t told him as soon as I’d bought them. A mobile phone which he liked but was pissed off because I hadn’t let him choose it...

So sometimes you just can’t win.

PatriciaHolm · 07/02/2020 20:53

Maybe he's trying to figure out how to say "why on earth did you spend so much when you have no money? It's bonkers."...

kimmyst · 07/02/2020 20:53

Maybe he'd annoyed it's not a Samsung Grin

GabsAlot · 07/02/2020 20:55

Janice what if theyre faulty you would never get a refund

Shinycat · 07/02/2020 20:55

Christmas 2017 he gave her her GIFT (not gifts!) (The £700 gift!)

OldMumYoungNan · 07/02/2020 20:56

I wouldn’t jump to assuming he’s lazy or unappreciative.

Maybe he’s overwhelmed or tired or in a rut. Birthdays are not always joyous occasions and many people can have emotional periods around them.

I’d offer to set to it up for him, just offer in a casual way so he won’t feel guilty about it.

Maybe next birthday give him something less expensive with less set up/effort involved.

Original poster
twuntfreezone · 07/02/2020 20:57

no, we don't live together....if we did he probably wouldn't even have gotten the chance to open it himself let alone set it up, as his birthday "surprise" would have been to have gotten home from work and found it all set up ready to go!!

OP posts:
RedskyAtnight · 07/02/2020 21:01

You're right OP. he's not that thrilled at it. He pretended to be happy so as not to hurt your feelings and he's still working out how to tell you that he doesn't really want it, especially as he knows you spent a lot of money on it and (doubtless) thought you were being thoughtful.

either that or he doesn't really like presents, full stop.

TriciaH87 · 07/02/2020 21:03

Tell him your sending it back as he clearly doesn't want it

LisBethSalander07 · 07/02/2020 21:06

That's massively ungrateful.

I'd send it back, tbh, and spend your money buying gifts for people who appreciate them.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 07/02/2020 21:11

YANBU it's rude of him not to use ANY of the presents you brought him, especially since you've asked him to show you them working.

You know, it's a bit like when the mother in law buys the kids some clothes - whether you like em or not, you put them on when she visits.

What other presents did you get him. It's really odd that he hasn't opened any of them.

I'd be hurt.

sonjadog · 07/02/2020 21:11

I can be like this with electrical items. I hate setting them up. I hate reading instruction books, finding the right bits to press, lying on the floor to fit them in, trying to fix the wires. The whole process is tiresome and frustrating. So they sit in their box for weeks until I am feeling up to the task.

I would maybe ask him if he would like you to set it up for him?

Original poster
twuntfreezone · 07/02/2020 21:13

@kymmyst.....🤣😂😁🙃.....!!!
as a blanket response to everyone posting here so far....
thankyou for even bothering, really......i know this sounds trivial....
in answer to a few...he didn't have a TV for himself and complained that his elderly father (now living with him) had completely commandeered the one in his living room to watch endless episodes of csi new York / csi miami/ csi Stratford-upon-Avon/csi bin cupboards and documentaries about the A414 etc, so...no, he didn't ASK for one, but i thought having his own would eliminate that particular niggle! in any case, quite frankly, i don't think I'M being unreasonable to FEEL how i FEEL....it's just my FEELINGS after all.....men are from Mars after all....he didn't eat the "exhibition" standard birthday cake i made for him either!.....but hey ho, he's my best friend, fabulous in bed with an enormous c*ck and very happy to make me happy so it's swings and roundabouts i guess?!!...but that's enough about our sex life (😂😋🤫🥴😁) thankyou everyone for your time! next year i will get (me) him a boob job and watch him crawl over glass to get stuck in!!! 👍😁

OP posts:
jakeyboy1 · 07/02/2020 21:14

Lot of strange comments on here re why a TV?? In my experience men love tech/TVs. My husband would be over the moon if I brought him a TV, I'd probably get the wrong one though... could that be it?!

OhTheRoses · 07/02/2020 21:14

Against the grain here. My dh has to get used to having something before he uses it. It doesn3mean he doesn't want it, just that he needs to acclimatise to having it. Had fa as a child.

Flupibass · 07/02/2020 21:15

Maybe he doesn’t want to accept such an expensive gift from you. Makes him feel awkward and that he’ll have to reciprocate!

TheBlueStocking · 07/02/2020 21:16

Ok

HumansAreConsumable · 07/02/2020 21:17

Maybe he just can't be arsed? Gets in from work and looks at it and thinks "fuck it I'll do it tomorrow" what did he get you for yours?

RositaEspinosa · 07/02/2020 21:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.