To tell him I love him.

[easyon]

It's one of those situations where the timing always seems wrong. One or both of us has been in relationship.
I am now single for many many months and he is in a relationship. It's committed but they do not live together or have any plans to so according to him.
Since he has found out that I am single , I feel that he has ramped up contact and seems more flirtatious and interested in us spending time together.
We are close for years and years and there has been something there for a long time , on both sides.
I buried this when in a relationship and he also did at the beginning of his. We spoke about it and agreed that all the contact was Iinappropriate so we both detached .
The thing is, I love him.
Do I leave well enough alone or tell him.
Wwyd?

He's in a relationship. Don't be so selfish. You're not star crossed lovers, you fancy him quite a lot and have a fantasy in your head about being in love - doesn't mean you're actually in love.

Leave well alone.

The thing is, he probably loves her. He’s choosing to be with her. He knows you’re single, if he wanted you he’d leave his gf and be with you.

Dont be that person

Nope.

Yabu.

YABU, he’s in a relationship. If he wanted to be with you it would have happened by now.

I'm sorry but I think you need to completely detach from him.
If he wanted to be with you, he would be. He chooses not to.
Ramping up the flirting and contact sounds like trying to start an affair or keeping you as back up plan. You deserve better than this.
Drop him completely and focus on finding a partner that is unattached and cares for you.

Don’t be selfish. If he wanted to be with you, he wouldn’t be in a relationship.

if he has feelings for you he would leave the relationship himself. he knows you are single and you have feelings for him.

I agree with everyone else, OP. If he had really wanted you he would not have started a relationship with his current girlfriend.

And it does sound like he's keeping you as a back-up plan, which isn't very nice of him if so.

I’m surprised you’re even asking. Don’t be selfish.

if he has feelings for you he would leave the relationship himself. he knows you are single and you have feelings for him.

This exactly

This is like an episode of friends, wasn't it Rachel who told Ross she loved him?

I think it's likely not a good idea. You can ask him if he wishes to end his relationship and look to start something with uou, and be prepared for a no. But I don't think you should be blurting out uou love him.

If you both know you like each other, and he wanted to be with you, he would end his current relationship.

Leave it. If there was something amazing and 'true love' why did neither of you previously leave a relationship for each other?

Thanks for your replies. I see that it is selfish. I believe the feelings are mutual but we are at entirely different life stages so the reality is that it may not work but I still feel that I would regret not telling him.
I do not want to hurt her so maybe I f I say not thing and see what happens , the outcome may happen more naturally , if it is to happen at all .

I think it's likely not a good idea. You can ask him if he wishes to end his relationship and look to start something with you, and be prepared for a no. But I don't think you should be blurting out you love him.

This. And bear in mind that people generally do what they want to do. Regardless of their words we can all summon up reserves of wistfulness about roads not taken their actions are a better indication of what they really want.

Unless this man is incredibly passive, in which case, do you really want a relationship with him?

I say just tell him.

If he feels the same way he’d be single and knocking on your door. Not committing himself to another woman.

If you both loved eachother then you would have been together by now. Neither of you have been previously willing to end your current relationships for the other.

I would detach yourself from him

Don’t do it. Behaviour like this always finds its way back to you.
He’ll find someone else to leave you for.

Find someone who respects their partners enough to not behave in this way.

No I wouldn't ,if you were meant to be together it would have happened by now, he might be attracted to you but not enough to leave his relationship and be with you .

He has asked me to go a ya for a aweekemd to acountry we have both spoken about for years .
He has invited himself to my home for a weekend . We love an hour apart.He wants to secure specific dates.
He regularly asks me to his for a night away or a holiday .
It could be argued that as friends we can now do these things as I always refused when I was in a relationship but he doesn't seem to have the same commitment as I did.
Is it bad choice to do these things with him also then iyo?

He wants an affair.