Money

[getyaminkehout]

To ask for the child benefit money..

I do work but only one day a week, partner works full time and has done for 10+ years. I'm just feeling low as any problems I seem to have all stem from having little to no money.

What do you mean “ask for it”? Is your partner taking it?

So you have no access to the money he earns?

Can you give a bit more information ?
Who would you be asking for it?
Are you a couple / still together ?
How do your finances work?
Do you mean that you, as a family don't have enough money, or for some reason are you and your partner not pooling your money ?

No I have no access to his money. We have an account for bills and he puts into that from his wage and then the child benefit goes into it too. I am struggling personally for money so asked if I could have the child benefit money this month

Asking my partner for the child benefit money. We do still live together, we private rent. He works and pays our bills and I stay home with our daughter who is almost 2 and have some money from working one day a week

It sounds like he is financially abusing you.

What is your situation? Are you married? Kids? Mortgage?

Yanbu. Of course you should.

From what you’ve said, isn’t it already available to you in the shared bills account? I

Are you both paying into the bills account in proportion to what you’re earning?

You work 1 day per week to look after your child and he gives you no access to money? How do you pay for things for you and your child whilst you look after her?

So you keep your entire salary?

How much of his is he left with?

It’s impossible to say if you’re bu from
The details you’ve given. You could both be left with the same money while the joint account pays all household costs and you’re poor at managing it; he could have much more than you and you could be struggling to feed and clothe clothe your child from your salary 🤷🏻‍♀️

We aren't married, we've been together for 5 years and our daughter is almost 2. When we first moved in together we both contributed to the joint account as I worked part time so was earning a lot more than I am now. I wanted to stay home with our daughter and he was happy for me to do this, even told me not to go back at all. I do work but only one day a week making £60. So all in all I have £60 a week.

What does that £60 need to pay for? Is it fun money or are you using it for food, child things etc?

Is that £60 just for you. How much money does he have just for him?

You should definitely have access to the child benefit money, it is there to help towards things your child needs.
My dd’s dad didn’t let me have access to any money while I was a sahm. I couldn’t work because of childcare costs so he paid for everything and as ‘I hadn’t earned it I wasn’t allowed to spend any’ it was very difficult and humiliating, I had to ask for sanitary products and toiletries, and clothes were Christmas presents from family. Don’t let him do this to you, it should all be shared family money to raise your child together, id never stay with a man who treated me like this again. I hope you have support irl.

It mainly goes on fuel, he doesn't drive and relies on me to take him to work some days but not everyday. I mean I would like to take our daughter out to places etc but just don't have the funds. I'm unsure whether I'm asking for too much as he does provide for us as a family and does now pay bills that beforehand he wouldn't have done such as the car insurance etc.

This is mad. How can you get yourself into that sort of situation?

Did you not talk about money before you had your child?

How pays for everyday things for you and your DD? are you expected to only spend the child benefit on your child? How do you arrange child care for your DD, who pays for that.

Is there money left over after he pays the bills, food, etc.?

It depends really. If he's throwing money at himself and keeping you skint then yanbu

If he's budgeting and the child benefit is needed for Bill's then yabu

Impossible to answer from your info

Fuel for driving you around as a family should be coming out of the bills account.

@Ishihtzuknot your post sounds very relatable. I have £60 a week from working which writing it down now seems like I have a lot more than some. It is humiliating!

It depends what the £60 needs to pay for. If it is just coffees socialising etc the. assuming he has the same then I would say it is fair.

Also need to know about the household finances as a whole is there spare money which he is keeping for himself or are you on a very tight budget and the child benefit is actually needed to help pay the bills?

Can you withdraw money from the account or how does it work?

You’re not answering the most important point.

How much left over money is there in general?

You have £240 a month to spend. I travel 500 miles for work a week and don’t soend that in fuel.

Does he have £240 to spend a month? More? Less?

Do you have £500 left as a couple after all the bills?