To ask you not to hate me . . . ?? Controlled crying experiences

[AllesAusLiebe]

Okay so we've struggled with DH (17 months) and his frequent night waking for a month now. He goes to sleep fine at around 7pm but wakes up screaming at least 3 times per night.

I can't deal with it anymore, DH is like a walking zombie and it's affecting our wellbeing. I've tried gradual retreat, sitting in his room, white noise, lavender oil . . . you name it. So, on Monday night we decided that the only option was controlled crying.

Night 4 and he's been screaming for the last 2 hours and I get the feeling that he's just warming up. When I go into his room he stops immediately, but the moment I lay him back down he goes crazy.

So . . . those who've endured this hell - how long did it take? Any words of advice?

Thanks in advance!

I think the really important thing is that you have recognised he is upset because you wont let him out rather than he is feeling neglected
This is important. You said he is crying because he is angry, not distressed. That says to me you need to keep at it. Just like if he was having a tantrum because he wants to play with a sharp knife. You wouldn't just give in.

Sympathies OP, I hope you are getting on ok.

Hi op! We did this (Ferber method) about a month ago after a cold over Xmas and new year ruined DS sleep. He’s 18ms

It took a good few nights, at one point it was about an 1.5-2 hrs of constantly going in and out at the different intervals before he went to sleep

And then eventually it got less and less until he started sleeping through

We had a whole 3 weeks of sleeping through...it’s all gone out the window the last 2 days as he’s ill again 😫. I’m just hoping it comes back when he’s better again

Daft suggestions.. does white noise even remotely help? And would he be safe to roam in an almost empty room?

Ds is much younger but after a bug he started waking 3 to 5 times a night and could smell milk on me so wouldn’t sleep without something, dp might strike lucky n manage a dummy n cuddle, but then he learned to stand so he’d get up n stand what felt like 10seconds after you lay him down if you hadn’t held him for half an hour after milk or dummy. Last night he started early.. I went in n tried a little milk.. wasn’t for it cause he wasn’t hungry enough but I needed the loo, dp was out with the dogs, so I handed him his Ewan n left him. He was sat on his arse with it for all of 5 minutes n then lay down n slept the whole bloody night. I don’t know if the noise helped, the ability to fidget till he slept, the not seeing me leave.. fucked if I know but if it works it works.

And what my mum done with me.. the child of no sleep.. was literally strip the room down to the mattress put a gate on the door n let me run wild in the dark with a few boring teddies (no lights or sounds stuff) id eventually get bored enough to just sleep. Along side crying it out, obviously she checked I wasn’t injured or needing anything regularly (long time before video monitors). I was apparently a lot better without the bars.. didn’t like the idea of being trapped I suppose.