AIBU to not let a random child walk on my garden wall?

[CockysGirl]

Just got in from work and was parking on my drive and a grandparent with a small child (2-3 years old) is lifting them up so that they can walk along my garden wall. They see me standing watching and say "DGC wants to walk on your wall, you don't mind do you?" So I replied, "I'd rather they didn't, it is a tall wall with lots of rose bushes next to it so they may get hurt and anyway, it is my private property" So the grandparent glared at me and huffed loudly and said "the nasty lady won't let you walk on her wall" and proceeded to make a big fuss about lifting DGC off the wall again! AIBU to not want kids walking on my garden wall?

Oh my god I can't believe the number if YANBU! It's one of he joys of being a small child is walking along the walls. Did you never do it as a child!?! God you joyless lot.

And how would that grandparent react if your wall collapsed with their grandchild walking on it? They'd blame you...

If the wall is so unsafe that a child walking on it would cause it to collapse, OP needs to get it sorted.

It’s traditional in England to let little kids walk on your wall. Don’t be such a misery guts.

It’s the OPs property. She has every right to be annoyed. Why do SOME parents have this “what’s yours is my child’s” attitude. It’s so irritating.

I couldn’t give a flying fuck if parents think I’m a killjoy or other such bollocks. I don’t want your kids fucking about on my property. Get off your arses and take your kids to the bloody park.

@Smileyaxolotl1 Well said!

I like she saw you and asked you. I hate that she was then rude to you.

I don’t really understand why it is a problem (I do a bit I think). If you have a lot of children doing this then yes I’d be annoyed to do with noise probably. I’d then put some kind of fence along so the garden felt more mine. If roses are being picked you might want this anyway ?
Didn’t get a feeling this was a huge long-standing problem ?
I was forever climbing walls etc when a child - I think this might be making me feel you are a bit grouchy but I get where you are coming from.
Im split on this.

YWNBU to say no because of the safety angle, but the 'private property' bit probably sounded rather abrupt, it seems like an unnecessary thing to say.

Meh. If the kid wants to walk on a wall, surely her doting grandmother can find her one in a public place. Better yet, take the child to a park where there are things made expressly for the purpose of children climbing all over them.

It's not joyless to want to protect your property and avoid someone getting hurt (and possibly blaming you for it). Most walls aren't built to be walked on, and kids need to learn that they can't do every little thing that pops into their heads. In this case, it was the grandmother to blame, completely. She should've known better.

It wouldn't bother me.

I was ready to say YABU killjoy etc but considering what you say about the possibility of the toddler falling and hurting himself I say YANBU. I got a very nasty injury which caused me to be off school for weeks when I was mucking about on a walk aged 7.

I have a 2 year old who I am forever trying to keep out of people’s gardens (why can’t people just close their bloody gates? Or postmen as they leave?) and tbh I’d be grateful for another adult saying nicely to my DS that they would rather he didn’t walk on their wall. The grandparent definitely shouldn’t have called you nasty in front of the child, that’s a shitty example to set.

What harm is a 2-3 year old walking on your wall going to do?!
If a part of your wall becomes loose and the child falls, hurting themselves, they'll be looking to you for their nice little bit of compensation as the house owner.

@CockysGirl YANBU.

I mean it may seem a bit petty to some, but it's not. And the grandmother's reaction was pretty awful, and set a bad example to her grandaughter. 'Nasty lady won't let you walk on her wall!' What a horrible, and very childish thing to say.

She has no right to say you are 'nasty' for not allowing her grandchild to walk along on your wall. And as you said, 4 foot high is quite high, and if the child fell, you can bet you would be held accountable somehow (by the entitled granny!)

Can't believe the amount of people thinking it's fine for some random child to walk along someone's 'privately owned' 4 ft high wall, and if the owner of the wall complains, they are 'miserable fuckers,' and should 'let kids be kids!' Yeah it's fun to walk along a wall when you're a child, but most people would have the respect, and common sense, to not let their child or grandchild walk on someone's privately-owned garden wall!

If the wall is OWNED by someone, then be prepared for your child (and you!) to be told off by the owner. They are within their rights to ask you to make your child get off the wall!

And don't be a dick and call someone NASTY, just because they ask for your child to get off THEIR WALL! This 'granny' should have apologised to the OP. Awful woman!

My wall at the front of my house is pretty low but when you get round to the side of the house it must be at least 10 feet tall so if you don’t know the area and you just let your child run ahead on the wall you’d get the fright of your life when you turned the corner. I wince everytime I’m in my kitchen and I see a child whizz past. If they fall off there’s every chance they’re falling onto a parked car below.

• It’s really not a difficult concept.

Nor is the concept of sharing space along a private/public boundary line for the sake of a child’s enjoyment.*

Sharing space ? at what point should the OP stop sharing ‘for the sake of a child’s enjoyment’?

Share her garden? Share her home? Share her own child’s belongings?

The grandchild in question doesn’t have a right to a share in the OPs things. That the OP bought. And the grandchild in question will manage just fine, walking on the pavement with her grandparent looking at the birds or counting the cars or singing a song.... she doesn’t need to walk along someone else’s wall.

Letting a child walk along a wall isn't the worst thing in the world, provided it's not likely to be damaged. However you were perfectly reasonable to ask them to stop, especially when your concern was partially for the child's safety. The grandmother was very unreasonable to complain.

(why can’t people just close their bloody gates? Or postmen as they leave?) and tbh I’d be grateful for another adult saying nicely to my DS that they would rather he didn’t walk on their wall.

Why do other other people need to discipline your child?

I dont want to be the 'you have no real problems' poster really.

But yeh. If this bothers you I envy your life.

Either that or I'm completely wrong and you have many troubles and little annoyances just tip you easily. In that case you have my sympathy

8 pages in and 50:50 split.

I can't see what harm a little child is going to do to your wall by walking on it, tbh.

You'd need some pretty heavy-duty toddlers to start causing damage to a brick wall!

Your toddler maybe. The toddlers in my family can break something by just looking at it.

Incidentally, I fell off a concrete fence, which was less than one foot high when I was five, hit my head on some concrete, and had to have six stitches in my forehead (my mother was with me). Accidents do happen, and these days it is often the property owner who is held accountable rather than it being put down to a simple accident. YANBU

It wouldn't bother me personally, but I don't think you're mean for preferring children not to do it.

I loved holding DS' hand while he walked on walls when he was little, but as others have said, only on public walls, occasionally businesses - never people's homes.

Oh my god I can't believe the number if YANBU! It's one of he joys of being a small child is walking along the walls. Did you never do it as a child!?! God you joyless lot*

Nope, my parents wouldn’t let me.

Do you also have a neighbour whose shed is 2cm into your garden???

Please explain how this has killed your joy of life enough to post on here?