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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not let a random child walk on my garden wall?

342 replies

CockysGirl · 06/02/2020 15:47

Just got in from work and was parking on my drive and a grandparent with a small child (2-3 years old) is lifting them up so that they can walk along my garden wall. They see me standing watching and say "DGC wants to walk on your wall, you don't mind do you?" So I replied, "I'd rather they didn't, it is a tall wall with lots of rose bushes next to it so they may get hurt and anyway, it is my private property" So the grandparent glared at me and huffed loudly and said "the nasty lady won't let you walk on her wall" and proceeded to make a big fuss about lifting DGC off the wall again! AIBU to not want kids walking on my garden wall?

OP posts:
BossAssBitch · 07/02/2020 13:47

OP, you sound like a joyless fucker.

curiousierandcouriser · 07/02/2020 15:10

YABU for not letting the child on your wall.

YANBU for telling off those who pick your roses.

OnceUponAMidnightBeery · 07/02/2020 16:09

YANBU op, and I walked on public walls as a kid, never private.

As for 'it takes a village to raise a child' I choose not to have children, WTAF would I want to raise yours?!?

timeaftertime79 · 07/02/2020 17:29

I’d say you were a misery and that person people avoids in the street

74NewStreet · 07/02/2020 17:33

Ridiculous comment, timeaftertime

timeaftertime79 · 07/02/2020 17:33

And I honestly can’t believe how many adults are so precious about a wall! Fair enough if they were 30 stone but they’re tiny. The grandmother would be at fault if something were to happen. I just can’t get my head around people moaning about it - it’s very petty in my opinion and very childish ‘MINE’ comes to mind. Your are a thief of joy haha I just could never do that to a Child myself. You could’ve even said ‘this once but I’d prefer you not to in future’ and explain why with a smile. I’m sure the reaction from the grandmother would’ve been much better.

timeaftertime79 · 07/02/2020 17:34

How is that 74newstreet - care to explain?

timeaftertime79 · 07/02/2020 17:37

On second thoughts, I really don’t want to spend any more of my time commenting on a WALL - just wow at this post. No wonder why so many kids choose to stay in. Have a lovely evening and weekend all :)

Attitude84 · 07/02/2020 17:41

YANBU. I’ll bet they’d try to sue the arse off you if that kiddie fell off in to your bushes and hurt themselves.

Nursejackie1 · 07/02/2020 17:47

lol at the person saying you would be blamed if the wall collapsed. Oh come on! That is actually not going to happen is it really?!
I think you were being mean and the excuse about them getting hurt on your rose thorns is just you now trying to justify your meanness.
It would have made no difference to anything in your life in any way shape or form if that toddler had a few seconds of fun walking in your wall while fully supported and supervised by their grandparent.
Kids love walking on walls, you were being beyond miserable.

icedgem85 · 07/02/2020 17:56

How petty!! The woman even asked if it was ok and you still said no Hmm yabu and a bit mean...

carbuncleonapigsposterior · 07/02/2020 17:59

50/50 on this, I walked on walls, my kids walked on walls, my gc have walked on walls. It is your property and your prerogative to refuse such a request from grandparent, personally I wouldn't have asked if owner of wall was in garden, I'd have moved gc to another nearby wall. Grandparent was rude to you there was no need to refer to you as a "nasty lady"

sunshine11 · 07/02/2020 18:07

Little kids love ‘walks wall’. It’s not like they’re doing graffiti on it. Surely you were a kid once?

Leighhalfpennysthigh · 07/02/2020 18:20

YANBU OP. There are a lot of ridiculous people on here. Surely if this child was so desperate to walk on walls there are sufficient public ones - not to mention lower and without roses and thorns the other side.

And it is private property. Kids need to be taught to respect other people's property (and for people to respect theirs of course). It's nit being a misery or joyless - just respect.

littlekerry8 · 07/02/2020 18:23

You are being petty it's a child and grandparents making a nice memory.. it's not like they were walking on your car bonnet

Runnerduck34 · 07/02/2020 18:26

I would have let the child walk along it, chances of serious injury are virtually nil especially if they are holding GP hand. Tbf GP probably comes from a generation where people were more laid back about things like this. My DC loved walking along walls when they were toddlers, its definitely one of life's pleasures at that age. Though I didn't like them doing it on people's garden walls unless I knew for sure they didn't mind. You were probably a bit precious but GP was rude and should have respected your view, it is your wall after all.

OwlBeThere · 07/02/2020 18:28

Are you a dementor in your day job, op?!
It’s 4ft, not 50 fgs.
And i say that as someone who fell off a 9ft wall and broke my leg as a child. I still have all the fun memories of all the hundreds of other times i walked on walls.

wooda180 · 07/02/2020 18:28

All it takes is one loose stone for the child to trip and hurt themselves on and with it being private property you become liable.

You are not being unreasonable even without the above either, people should respect other people property and they should be taught to do so at a young age. Some people will be ok with a child walking along their wall and some people wont be and people should respect it either way.

ProclivitiesMcManus · 07/02/2020 18:35

Anything could happen

Kastanien · 07/02/2020 18:35

If a child slipped suddenly, their hand might easily slip out of their GP / parent's hand and then they crash down on the ground

That happened to me when I was three. I can remember it because I cut my face and there was so much blood! Being the 70's no one thought of suing anyone, but today is a different climate. I never let my kids walk on private walls as it is disrespectful, and I would get quite twitchy if they climbed on public walls in case they fell like I did. I am glad they are passed that age now. I don't believe that they have suffered any consequences for a childhood of not walking on other people's walls! YANBU OP.

FelicisNox · 07/02/2020 18:41

YABU but only because I have bad PMT and I'm hormonal visions of rosie faced cute bambini walking on walls in the prime of their life, holding grampies hand whilst some sour faced old harpie shakes their fist at them.

sigh

《Wanders off to look for chocolate》

meuca · 07/02/2020 18:43

Wow, there really are a lot of entitled parents who think we should take joy in their children walking on other people's private property!

Dizzybet74 · 07/02/2020 18:47

Public wall ok, private wall not ok - those are the wall rules I've given my children.

LaurieMarlow · 07/02/2020 18:48

whilst some sour faced old harpie shakes their fist at them.

Grin

Too right

genius1308 · 07/02/2020 18:48

I don't really think it's anything to do with the wall in my opinion. It's the bigger lesson about being taught respect for other people's property and belongings. Ultimately it's not yours, it doesn't belong to you, don't touch it...simple.