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AIBU?

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Original poster

CF garden related

195 replies

yolofish · 06/02/2020 14:48

For background, we have a huge garden, part of which is actually a field, where we keep our chickens (no, the chickens are nothing to do with it).

The far corner, where I planted a shrubbery 20 years ago, got very overgrown, full of brambles etc. It was the corner behind the chicken run so difficult to access. Neighbour installed a gate into the field from her garden, we asked her not to use it.

Now, we've moved the chicken run and I'm clearing the area - hacking down brambles etc. Neighbour has continued to use her gate to dump all her garden rubbish in this previously unseen corner.

Having used a machete to get there, I asked her to get it moved, and advised that technically she was trespassing and please not to do it again.

She then decided she'd like to get some of our trees lopped, she was happy to pay for it, while getting her rubbish cleared.

Fine I said, and as a gesture of kindness, said her workmen could put the debris on our bonfire, thus saving them trailing it through her house.

Now, the workmen have gone, job not finished - maybe they are coming back? - bonfire is massive and they failed to light it and get the pile down as asked, and they havent cleared the rubbish.

And she's saying £150 is a bit steep in a not particularly subtle hint that she'd like a contribution.

Who is the CF here?

(sorry, long!)

OP posts:
WineAndTiramisu · 06/02/2020 22:02

@Frenchw1fe
Just out of interest why don't you want her in your field

Hmmmm... Let me think about that... Confused

LolaSkoda · 06/02/2020 22:35

I personally think my MIL is insane! Selfish and doesn’t care who she upsets! Tip of the iceberg unfortunately.

I personally don’t understand that sort of behaviour. I despise it. But then I was brought up to respect people and their property.

SistersOfPercy · 06/02/2020 22:45

Cow shit?

Nice stinking pile outside the gates might work.

Florinia · 06/02/2020 22:50

This reply has been deleted

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EvilPea · 07/02/2020 10:57

If I wanted to appreciate the view, I’d ditch the fence and have low level hedge. I wouldn’t have a gate I can only see the view by opening

Emmelina · 07/02/2020 11:08

Once she’s got rid of the crap, get a few billy goats in the field. They can be quite boisterous and she hopefully won’t fancy sharing your garden then Wink

oobieloo · 07/02/2020 12:10

Get a bull. She won't want to have the gate open then!

Stompythedinosaur · 07/02/2020 12:29

I can't get over her putting in a gate to give access to your private propert! Who does that? Definitely block it with something heavy.

Rejoin2020 · 07/02/2020 13:31

CFery in the extreme! The legal option might be necessary to get her to sort the rubbish pile but would have consequences when selling.

Easier, but more labour intensive would be to block off her gate - spoils her view, tough titty - and let the vegetation dry out and re build the bonfire.

Rebuilding, sadly, is VERY VERY IMPORTANT, because of hedgehogs.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 07/02/2020 14:49

Rebuilding, sadly, is VERY VERY IMPORTANT, because of hedgehogs.

Yes a thousand times!

Could you not tell her workmen to take all of her shit rubbish and burn it in her garden? Then they'd have to dismantle the pile to shift it.

TBH it sounds a dangerously large bonfire to start with - even in a field there will be a lot of embers blowing about.

I almost had a fire start in a bedroom once because of a neighbour's fire - bits blew through an open window (and it was only open a crack. Fortunately the burning material landed on a hardback book, and was only smouldering when I went upstairs and smelled it, and was able to put it out and shut the window. I hadn't even realised she was burning stuff (in a metal bin).

74NewStreet · 07/02/2020 15:12

Sorry to be dim, but can you explain the hedgehogs? Isn’t it worse for them to blunder into the bonfire itself, rather than a load of rubbish?

Jux · 07/02/2020 15:17

Use an incinerator, even if that means you have to repeat it time after time; it'll be safer if there's a lot of flammable stuff lying about.

Put a very large planter in front of her gate and plant a climber in it.

katewhinesalot · 07/02/2020 15:24

Yes to lots of planting of quick growing bushes.

Original poster
yolofish · 07/02/2020 15:27

Re hedgehogs, you dont want to set light to the fire when they have been curled up in there. Not so much of a danger when the fire is freshly built though.

She now tells me that she is getting the fence done in the next few months and there will be NO gate. We'll see.

OTH there is no news about the sodding bonfire and the extra debris, and it's probably too windy today to light it anyway.

Couldnt be done in her garden, it's about 12' square, and incinerator - nah, these are tree trunks we're talking about! And yes, I could make a log pile but I already have about 7, one of which is the same size as the bonfire. And a lot of the debris is brambles which appear to have the ability to come back to life whatever you do to them.

OP posts:
Troels · 07/02/2020 16:59

Advertise yoour log size stuff on facebook, someone will want it all and will move it for free.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 07/02/2020 17:11

Troels is right: we had a tall tree taken out & a neighbour who has a log burner sweet-talked the tree men into letting him have the main bits. We were fine with that.

Original poster
yolofish · 07/02/2020 17:47

We had a lot of tree work done a few months ago. Asked on the village FB page if anyone wanted it - it was willow. OMG the flak I got! Willow apparently has very low calorific value (who knew?) and only idiots burn it, etc etc. This is all mixed up, hawthorn, cobnut (I didnt know we had a cobnut - if I did I wouldnt have let her have it coppiced), brambles etc etc.

OP posts:
BaolFan · 07/02/2020 17:48

Woodchipper for the trunks and branches - use the chippings as mulch for your flower beds.

Original poster
yolofish · 07/02/2020 17:51

baolfan yes but all this is making more work for ME! When I thought I was doing a kind thing for an elderly neighbour...

She now tells me that the workman wants to talk to me direct, so she's bowed out - great, thanks. I actually wish I had insisted she use our tree guys, who are brilliant - but they would have cost a lot more.

I've learned a lesson in fact - if someone wants to cut down my trees and I kindly let them, then I get to specify the contractor.

OP posts:
Dubbadubbadumdum · 07/02/2020 18:10

Tell her no-her workman, her problem to sort out! She's pushing her responsibility onto you, and I would not be happy with that at all !!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 07/02/2020 18:47

I agree with Dubba

SHE has employed the workmen - not you. It's up to her to sort it. If you aren't careful, she'll be refusing to pay the bill because you took over and gave orders she didn't agree to.

Avoid contact with the workmen like the plague.

BaolFan · 07/02/2020 18:50

You could always direct the woodchipper outlet into her garden Grin

Tell her no. They are her workmen and this is her problem to sort out and that you don't want to hear any more about it. Illustrate your point by making sure that you plonk something large and unwieldy in front of her gate so that she can't open it onto your field.

MaggieFS · 07/02/2020 19:13

This is such a faff, it sounds like one conversation with her workmen might be the easiest route, but if it doesn't prove to be the case, then it's back on her.

CoraPirbright · 07/02/2020 19:35

Absolutely as Schad says - watch out that she doesn’t try to wriggle out of paying as you “took it over”.

Stompythedinosaur · 07/02/2020 19:58

I wouldn't talk to the workmen directly, that is definitely not your responsibility and will confuse who is responsible for paying them.

She is a colossal cf!

Maybe put it in writing - please remove your rubbish from my property by x date. I am happy for you to have a bonfire to dispose of property but this must be lit and maintained by you or your employees.