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AIBU?

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Original poster

CF garden related

195 replies

yolofish · 06/02/2020 14:48

For background, we have a huge garden, part of which is actually a field, where we keep our chickens (no, the chickens are nothing to do with it).

The far corner, where I planted a shrubbery 20 years ago, got very overgrown, full of brambles etc. It was the corner behind the chicken run so difficult to access. Neighbour installed a gate into the field from her garden, we asked her not to use it.

Now, we've moved the chicken run and I'm clearing the area - hacking down brambles etc. Neighbour has continued to use her gate to dump all her garden rubbish in this previously unseen corner.

Having used a machete to get there, I asked her to get it moved, and advised that technically she was trespassing and please not to do it again.

She then decided she'd like to get some of our trees lopped, she was happy to pay for it, while getting her rubbish cleared.

Fine I said, and as a gesture of kindness, said her workmen could put the debris on our bonfire, thus saving them trailing it through her house.

Now, the workmen have gone, job not finished - maybe they are coming back? - bonfire is massive and they failed to light it and get the pile down as asked, and they havent cleared the rubbish.

And she's saying £150 is a bit steep in a not particularly subtle hint that she'd like a contribution.

Who is the CF here?

(sorry, long!)

OP posts:
CokeAndCrispsAndDip · 06/02/2020 17:21

Just to echo others prioritise blocking that gate. If her house sells new owners may presume right of access.

Don't pay anything, you've been nice enough but I don't think you'll achieve much now other than block her access and not allow further dumping

CokeAndCrispsAndDip · 06/02/2020 17:24

Big boulder it is then OP 😁 not touching her gate but permanently blocking it

eddielizzard · 06/02/2020 17:26

That's really not on. I think I'd be tempted to tell them to drag it all back through her house since you can't light the bonfire. What a pain.

thekatydids · 06/02/2020 17:28

nd how he didnt do it properly and it will all need to be replaced at vast expense...

Blimey, give your neighbour this Biscuit

Is she hinting at you covering the cost for a gate you didn't want her to have but tolerated? She's a CF thats for sure.

PrayingandHoping · 06/02/2020 17:28

She might own it but that doesn't give her the right to make a gate. You can't just choose to make gates in fences. It's not allowed as it comes with access

northernlittledonkey · 06/02/2020 17:31

We've got a field in front of our house although our house is side onto the field, so we don't have just that view. There's also one to the rear too. However, the person who owns our field, also owns the adjacent manor house and apart from our kids ocassionally playing in the field we have little to do with it.

A few years ago, the owners of the field parked 2 old cars in there and just let them rot. No idea why, they're situated at the far end of the field so only us who can see them. We've never complained as they're not hurting us and just cars. But the anger that's come from neighbours who can't really see into the field that these cars are there. It's as if they think the field is theirs, to do with as they wish! LEtters to the parish council, local neighbours trying to get the cars removed at their cost. The upset it's caused our end of the village over something that has nothing to do with them. It's as if everyone who walks past the field thinks they have a say in what happens. Which I think is where you neighbour is with it...

minniemoll · 06/02/2020 17:32

If it's a metal gate, can you put a chain and padlock on it? That wouldn't damage it, but will stop her using it.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 06/02/2020 17:32

I admit I'm confused over this whole "bonfire" thing
Did they ever really intend to burn their rubbish, or was it just another excuse for dumping stuff on your land?

Personally I'd be telling her to get it shifted - how she does that isn't your problem - and that she'll be billed for its removal if she fails to do it

And yes, get something heavy on your side of that gate without delay ...

longtimelurkerhelen · 06/02/2020 17:35

Get one of these to place 5mm from the gate. If she is frail you could probably get away with the 200kg one, but for safety I would go with the 12 ton boulder. Grin

www.pavingsuperstore.co.uk/gabbro-6208.html

I cannot believe just how cheeky some people are, fair enough she wants the view, just put in a low fence, no need for a gate.

You can't really light the bonfire now as it is all fresh wood and wont burn very well and it will be very smokey. I would leave it a few months, then have a thorough check for hedgehogs before lighting.

Bluetrews25 · 06/02/2020 17:59

No, just get one of those MN-famous parking bollards put in on your side of the gate. Not touching!!
OR a plain fence panel, just inside the gate with a PRIVATE PROPERTY NO ENTRY sign on her side... but only if you really want to piss her off. Prop it up with a big boulder or two.

Frenchw1fe · 06/02/2020 18:56

@northernlittledonkey our neighbours had some old 2 cv's in their garden. Never bothered me as could only see them if I walked past the house. The deputy Maire had reason to visit our little hamlet and was not impressed with the old cars. Within 2 days they were ordered to move them and within 2 weeks they had all gone.
There's a lot to be said for small, autonomous communes.

EvilPea · 06/02/2020 19:06

You need to block the gate.
If she sells the house it’s going to look like it’s been okayed.

I’d just lite the bonfire before creatures move in

CoraPirbright · 06/02/2020 19:37

I'm now getting msgs about how the fence and gate was put up for her by someone I recommended (after she asked me because he was doing a lot of work for us!) and how he didnt do it properly and it will all need to be replaced at vast expense...

So she is now hinting that it all needs replacing and that its all your fault?? Shock. Cheeky bitch!

This reminds me of the lady (think it was the same thread as Mexican house thief) who found the previous owner in her garden looking disappointed that there were no gooseberries on the bush she used to own. When the new owner pointed out that she had used them, the previous owner was most Put Out!

LolaSkoda · 06/02/2020 19:53

My nutty MIL has done similar - made herself a nice little gate to the farmers field. Just because she wants to.

He’s told her to stop going on his field. He even put another fence in front of hers. She turned his new fence into another gate. The sense of entitlement is unreal. She wants something and doesn’t care who she upsets to get it.

I think you have to be a special kind of B to do what she’s done OP. Chucking her rubbish over is absolutely taking the piss.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 06/02/2020 19:59

Once the rubbish is burned you need a nice flock of geese in the field ( as you seem to like domestic fowl)
Better than guard dogs Wink

SpringFan · 06/02/2020 20:00

When our neighbour put a gate into our field, our solicitor rold us we could not remove it but to write to them telling them not to use it. We could however put a fence across the gate to stop the access. Our neighbour was seriously offended and barely spoke to us again. Result.
We also wrote to the Estate Agent when they sold the house to ensure prospective buyers know there was no right of access.

Ayemama · 06/02/2020 20:35

This is utterly crazy, definitely put up something solid that she cant see through, with as many no trespass signs as you can find.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 06/02/2020 21:14

My nutty MIL has done similar - made herself a nice little gate to the farmers field. Just because she wants to.

Stone me, there's two of 'em!

As a pp said, she didn't need a gate to have a view. I would suggest a nice stretch of barbed wire on your side to prevent it opening. She'll still have her view.

Greenpolkadot · 06/02/2020 21:23

Put a shed in front of the gate

SynchroSwimmer · 06/02/2020 21:40

I’m sighing to myself as I’m also battling the very same issues as you OP.

Had to put another layer of wire stock fence over a patch where a neighbour cut through mine “for unauthorised access”, have also planted laurel cuttings on my side of unauthorised entrances such as your gate issue.

I also got a local farmer to send in a small temporary herd of cattle/goats for a week or so to “graze my land” 😉 (I.e. show my presence there)

Waiting to speak to another neighbour to “ask that they tell their gardener (they don’t have one!) to stop throwing their waste over my side.....and might tell them that I don’t want to plant a conifer hedge to stop them, but I might - if it doesn’t stop.

I found that a simple agreement to “letting someone put their Xmas tree on my bonfire” 20 years ago - just resulted in a free-for-all.

Anyhoo, recommend planting something on your side of your neighbours gate (after you have soldered the metalwork!)

Original poster
yolofish · 06/02/2020 21:46

OMG there are more of these people around!

So, latest update: her people will apparently come and finish the work as requested, which includes sorting my bonfire and removing the left over debris from 'her' work.

She will replace her fence at her cost (graceful of her).

But the debris in MY field is only there because she was trying to reduce MY brambles and bindweed!

When I get brambles and bindweed coming through from other bits of other neighbours' gardens I either a) chop them b) spray them or c) ignore them. Isnt that what most people do?!

OP posts:
74NewStreet · 06/02/2020 21:47

Your ridiculous MIL is committing criminal damage, Lola. Cutting a gate in someone else’s fence just because you fancy a stroll around their property is insane Confused
Is she mentally well?

Original poster
yolofish · 06/02/2020 21:47

I do actually think we will have to do something legal now to stop her in her tracks, I feel quite sorry for her, but on the other hand I dont want some other fucker thinking they have claim over our land.

OP posts:
JKScot4 · 06/02/2020 21:51

@LolaSkoda
I’m loving the 2nd gate in the fence!! I’m envisioning a line of fence panels with gates in them as far as the eye can see 🤣🤣

Original poster
yolofish · 06/02/2020 22:01

I went back through her messages today. In October 2018 I messaged her to say that 'her' gate was open and reiterated that we'd had previous convos, and that I wasnt happy about the mess. And every time she says she'll sort it and it never happens. So I need to get on the case with this one.

Spine stiffened!

OP posts: