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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF garden related

195 replies

yolofish · 06/02/2020 14:48

For background, we have a huge garden, part of which is actually a field, where we keep our chickens (no, the chickens are nothing to do with it).

The far corner, where I planted a shrubbery 20 years ago, got very overgrown, full of brambles etc. It was the corner behind the chicken run so difficult to access. Neighbour installed a gate into the field from her garden, we asked her not to use it.

Now, we've moved the chicken run and I'm clearing the area - hacking down brambles etc. Neighbour has continued to use her gate to dump all her garden rubbish in this previously unseen corner.

Having used a machete to get there, I asked her to get it moved, and advised that technically she was trespassing and please not to do it again.

She then decided she'd like to get some of our trees lopped, she was happy to pay for it, while getting her rubbish cleared.

Fine I said, and as a gesture of kindness, said her workmen could put the debris on our bonfire, thus saving them trailing it through her house.

Now, the workmen have gone, job not finished - maybe they are coming back? - bonfire is massive and they failed to light it and get the pile down as asked, and they havent cleared the rubbish.

And she's saying £150 is a bit steep in a not particularly subtle hint that she'd like a contribution.

Who is the CF here?

(sorry, long!)

OP posts:
DiscontinuedModelHusband · 06/02/2020 16:31

you shouldn't touch her gate.

but i don't think there would be a problem with you erecting a fence along your boundary (even if this fence is exactly the width of the gate),

there may be a limit to how tall your fence can be though.

Melroses · 06/02/2020 16:37

2 metres

SchadenfreudePersonified · 06/02/2020 16:39

Could you carefully remove her gate and place it in her garden, along with all screws and hinges? And then fence/wall the gap?

74NewStreet · 06/02/2020 16:45

No, don’t touch the gate, you’re not entitled to interfere with that. Just erect a fence in front of it.

ratspeaker · 06/02/2020 16:45

Create a wildlife woodpile with some lots and lots of those logs, right in front of the gate.

ASureSign · 06/02/2020 16:47

YANBU and your neighbour has been rude and presumptious. I think your message to your neighbour is unnecessarily unpleasant and aggressive. I would have gone and seen her in person or would’ve sent clear but polite message.

yabadabadontdoit · 06/02/2020 16:47

A nice electric fence as close to the gate as you can get it? In fact if it touched a metal gate that would be a shame

BrightYellowDaffodil · 06/02/2020 16:48

Could you carefully remove her gate and place it in her garden, along with all screws and hinges? And then fence/wall the gap?

Or just leave it in situ and put up another fence juuuust inside the field? In the words of Joey Tribbiani: “Not touching, cant get mad!”

CarolinaPink · 06/02/2020 16:50

Speak to the neighbour to ask if the workmen are returning to complete the job. Give them a date by which you'd like the rubbish removed and let them know if it isn't gone by then you'll be dumping it all back on their property.

This ^^

SilverySurfer · 06/02/2020 16:53

Why have you put up with this??

She added a gate to the fence but who does the fence belong to?
If it's hers I guess she can do what she likes with her fence but that does not give her the right to step foot into your garden. Either Install a fence your side or plant something vigorous like bamboo in front of the fence. Alternatively if the fence opens out into your garden instead of hers, place a huge boulder next to it but not touching which she won't be able to shift.

If the fence is yours, rip out the gate, leaving it her side (don't want to be accused of stealing) and replace the fence panel. Any rubbish she has thrown into your garden gets thrown back over the fence. A shed would solve all your problems in that corner - preventing her access and nowhere to throw her rubbish.

I don't understand why you agreed to have your trees trimmed at her request.Do they overhang her garden?

thekatydids · 06/02/2020 16:53

Perhaps you need a shed to store the chicken feed and so on? Outside the gate would be an idea place to put it.

SilverySurfer · 06/02/2020 16:55

I'm now getting an ad on the right for gates lol.

Original poster
yolofish · 06/02/2020 16:55

Well she's all very apologetic and is onto the workmen "but I've only ever used it for x and y". That's not the fucking point!

So we'll have to see what happens next. But I cant physically dump the stuff back because the bonfire is 100yds away and I am not strong enough. Bad enough clearing my own garden stuff.

And she has admitted she should not be using the gate.

Re my message was rude: I hope not, I thought it was clear and to the point. Should I have gone round and see her, yes perhaps but she is quite difficult and given the location it's almost a 5 minute walk and I have stuff to do.

OP posts:
rslsys · 06/02/2020 16:56

Wait until the wind is blowing in her direction, preferably on a day when she has washing out, then light the bonfire . . .

Original poster
yolofish · 06/02/2020 16:58

She put the gate in because it gives her a view into our field (her garden is tiny). I dont mind her looking at the view - because we are on 1.5 acres and the location means she cant see us most of the time anyway.

I DO mind her dumping shit, or perhaps creating a precedent that she has access.

The gate opens outwards (ie into the field) so something very heavy will be going in front of it pdq.

OP posts:
MaggieFS · 06/02/2020 16:58

Is it your fence into which she's put the gate?

gatekeeper · 06/02/2020 17:01

what was there before the gate if putting it in opened up a view for her

SilverySurfer · 06/02/2020 17:01

No-one can suggest anything until you tell us who owns the gate?

drinkygin · 06/02/2020 17:01

@yabadabadontdoit electrocuting the elderly neighbour? Really?? Confused

Alsohuman · 06/02/2020 17:06

Just put a match to the bonfire. Anyone who goes to the trouble of moving stuff just to piss someone off when they could far more easily burn it, needs their bumps felt.

PrayingandHoping · 06/02/2020 17:06

Did the workmen know they were meant to be lighting the bonfire? That would meant they would have to stay and supervise it....

Get that gate changed back to the fence. Giving your neighbour any kind of right to accessing your property is leaving u in a very dicey situation if you ever need to sell it!

TimeTravellersHat · 06/02/2020 17:10

I’d insist on the gate being removed. What gives her the right to have access to your ground? She’s already proven she can’t be trusted!

Seeingadistance · 06/02/2020 17:12

Thing is, she doesn’t need a gate for the view. She needs an ironwork panel or fence. No access required for a view.

RB68 · 06/02/2020 17:16

Just wait till the wind is in the right direction and have a burning.... but yes definitely install a fence your side of the field

Original poster
yolofish · 06/02/2020 17:18

Sorry, I thought I'd said. It is her fence, and she chose to put the gate into it to access the view.

So obviously we can't touch her fence or her gate. What we can do is block it.

I'm now getting msgs about how the fence and gate was put up for her by someone I recommended (after she asked me because he was doing a lot of work for us!) and how he didnt do it properly and it will all need to be replaced at vast expense...

I'm trying not to engage, just keep it to the facts, but that's not what she wants. She is actually madder than a box of frogs and known for it locally, but that's not the point either!

OP posts: