..to lightheardly ask what shameful thing you need to admit to?

[RoyEastmannKodak]

When no one is around to see me, and when the food was really yummy, I lick the plate clean. Regularly.

I am a 47 year old educated and professional woman. I don't think people would ever expect this of me. I caught sight of my reflection when doing this earlier and I looked like a hungry stray dog

What do you do that people don't know about?

This thread has "future Mumsnet Classic written all over it"

There's rather more wee and poo than even I, an experienced Mumsnetter of old who has gone by many names, would have expected... I think an outlet we clearly needed no pun intended

My newborn daughter had a huge white head milk spot and I got so tempted but I didn’t want to pinch her/it so I just pressed on it with my finger and it popped and made her cry. I’ve never felt so awful in my entire life and now I’m convinced she hates me and will never forgot what I’ve done to her and will never forgive me.

No knickers on a warm summers day.

Ah yes, when I was 16 my boy friend cheated on me, he told me at the local dodgy pub infront of all his friends and laughed about it, humiliating me and then asked for the box of condoms back that he left in my bedside drawer.

While crying to my friend she suggested we use a sewing needle to poke holes in every condom bar one so that creating a kind of condom roulette.

He did actually end up getting a girl pregnant, not sure if that was my doing or not.. but they ended up getting together a couple years later and are now engaged so I feel like I’m actually a match maker..

I once squatted on a grassy area near my parents house for a wee after a night out. All fine, didn’t splash myself, quite proud.

Until I woke up the next morning with a leaf in my bum crack. Spent the next few days worried a spider could have crawled up my fanny.

These threads always start mild and then descend into a race to the bottom - who can tell the grossest most disgusting tale?

And it's not disappointed. From people who never brush their teeth and those who leave cockroaches in their own home, I can only hope I don't know any of you disgusting people

I went to the gym tonight, came home and ate as soon as I got in. I'm now warm and cosy and can't be bothered to shower. It's not unusual. I also don't brush my teeth until after lunch. Don't know why but my breath must be minging in the mornings. Sorry colleagues!

I can only hope I don't know any of you disgusting people

There is no hope...we are out there and you don't know who we are

I can cope with the wee/poo/cockroach/eating from a bin stories....

But how the hell can anyone not brush their teeth as soon as they wake up????

On holiday with my friends, on a Greek island in my late teens- I read the notice about not putting anything except liquids down the toilet. I’d done an enormous poo and panicked, so I picked it up with a plastic bag, wrapped it in loo roll and put it in the bin. I really hope the lovely lady who cleaned our room didn’t discover what the package in the bin was .

I found out before my next bowel movement that it meant loo paper/sanitary towels etc., not actual human waste...

I swear this is lighthearted! I'm (not so secretly) shamefully raging that my DH has been at home everyday this week so far "ill" with a bug. In truth the lazy bastard isn't sick at all - at most he woke up on Monday morning with a tickle in his throat that hasn't turned into anything, he's just acting as if he's coming down with something. I'm not actually a horrible unsympathetic person but DH has form for playing the sick card and the fact that his boss is away at a conference all week is not a coincidence of timing I think...

The reason I'm annoyed is because I work from home on Monday through Wednesday and go into my office on Thursdays & Fridays and I have been much less productive with my DH hanging around all week. I do think I might be on the more extreme end of the antisocial scale in that I love having the weekdays to myself to work, get the house organised, do yoga and generally enjoy my alone time.

I totally understand his desire to just not go to work on occasion but I love my days alone dammit and I'll have to wait until next Monday now. I swear I do love my DH, he's a lovely person (apart from his malingering habit) but I need my alone time and frankly he does get under my feet. God knows what will happen when we're both retired!

🤢

I can't burp on demand either, can't think why one would, it's certainly not shameful to not be able to.

I cut the dead skin off my feet and feed it to my dog, and my bogies and any scabs - she loves it

My DP was saving the last Caramel Log for his “ cheat day “ last week but when I opened the cupboard it was just saying “ EAT ME!! “

I’m 21wks pregnant and wasn’t feeling great so took myself and said Caramel Log up to the freshly white changed bed and stuck the tv on, tried to open it very carefully when BOOM! I don’t know what I did but it slipped and there was a coconut and chocolate explosion..... but I thought to myself “ uff sh*t...I’ll get it later “ and fell asleep.

DP comes home from work to find the mess and I told him it was our 8 yo niece she had come for a wee visit and he went on and on about how she’s not allowed to eat up the stairs anymore and he’ll be seeing her about his last Caramel Log ( light hearted he said she’s for it lol ) I’ve now bribed her a tenner not to tell and just go along with it ha ha

@OhMyWord123

@HangingOffYourCloud do you take your toothbrush and toothpaste into work to clean your teeth after lunch?
Morning breath is vile. I dont clean my teeth twice a day every day, and if we're staying home I might even skip a day completely, but if I'm leaving the house and will be talking to people then my teeth are being brushed before I leave