..to lightheardly ask what shameful thing you need to admit to?

[RoyEastmannKodak]

When no one is around to see me, and when the food was really yummy, I lick the plate clean. Regularly.

I am a 47 year old educated and professional woman. I don't think people would ever expect this of me. I caught sight of my reflection when doing this earlier and I looked like a hungry stray dog

What do you do that people don't know about?

I very very rarely brush my teeth

When I was a teenager I got caught short on the way home from the pub. It was really late at night and I had to do a big poo behind someone's car in Belsize Park.
I can't hear the song Kayleigh without a sense of deep shame. (Still love the song though)

I'd rather be in labour than do my last week of work before Mat leave

When delivering Christmas cards a long time ago my dog licked a trifle left in my neighbours porch. I went home to get a spoon to smooth over the licked bit

Borris I love that!

Occasionally when I push out a fart, I shit myself. I usually realise it's happening just a little too late but manage to stop before I let too much out. A couple of times I thought it was a fart until far too late and I feel the warm sensation of shit spreading.

Once I was really drunk in a hotel room. It had a shared bathroom. I couldn't walk well enough to find the bathroom so I shit in the sink then washed it away with hot water and poked it down the plug hole. I drank a lot of ale so it was 'cow pat consistency'.

I still visit this hotel every year and am eternally ashamed of my behaviour.

I sometimes pick the dead skin off my feet and chew the skin (never swallow it though)

Im sorry. I'm a terrible example of a woman.

Bisforbert

Quite drunk and dying to pee, walking along an interminable road in London and couldn't hold it any longer, so peed in someone's dark front garden...
Likewise, I drove a long way to collect an eBay purchase, and the sellers rang to say they'd had to nip out.... luckily their back garden gate was open and it was raining quite hard, as it was broad daylight and overlooked by loads of houses, so I had to pee In the passage.

I often wear trainers without socks, including when I'm at the gym. My reasoning is that at primary school, we were made to put shoes on bare feet to walk from the classroom to the gym (assembly hall). Old habits die hard!

I can cry at will. Proper tears. I have often used it to get myself out of sticky situations. It's come in very handy over the years.

When I first started seeing my oh I stayed over night one Sunday. Morning morning whilst getting ready for work I needed a shit so fucking bad. So bad! He was taking FOREVER in the bathroom and I mean he'd been in the shower for a good 30 minutes. I also really didn't want to poo in his house as it was very early into the relationship and I had a major thing about pooping at his house. Anyway that morning I had never needed the toilet so bad, tears were streaming and I just knew it was gonna be a bad one. I shit in an Asda bag. I then threw it outside in the skip.
He still doesn't know 6 years on.

I like the sound of your mother @yolofish

Wow! So many poo and wee stories all on one thread. A dream come true for certain lurkers.

Indeed... 🤮

thenestedif I nibble on those cat and dog treat sticks.

How on earth did you find out that you like them? I've never been round Booths and thought 'oh, I know I'll try these cat and dog treat sticks as they look mouthwatering'

I once ate a Big Mac and a Chicken burger in the same meal. I hadn't eaten for a week though and I was starving.

When I was 8 i really really wanted a little sister. So i poked holes in my parents condoms which I found while taking in their room. That's my biggest confession

Did it work? It would have been karma if they'd had twin boys

Sometimes I just speak my thoughts out loud

I do this when I'm at home alone, isn't it normal to do that?

We were stuck in traffic once on the way to collect DS1, we'd been in the car for four hours instead of one. DS2 was caught short and without telling me relieved himself in his empty apple juice bottle. DS1 got in the car and was thirsty, thankfully DS2 grabbed the bottle off him and muttered something about it being his drink. DS1 guessed but didn't say anything and kept saying to DS2 come on, aren't you going to drink your apple juice that you won't share

Once upon a time news of an impending visit from my MIL would send me off in an obsessive cleaning spree despite being a fairly clean person already. I was never going to win her over though. No matter how hard I tried. So I’ve gone the other way now and let things slide ahead of her visits. This past one I knowingly left a giant dead cockroach in the kitchen cupboard for the duration of her stay. It was an absolute bloody monster. Shocked the shit out of the nasty old bat when she found it. 👍🏻

Why would you do that?

I pick my nose in the car and flick it out of the window

I never ever believe anyone who says they dont pick their nose. One of life's most satisfying activities, why wouldnt you?! And practically, if you have a crusty one, much quicker to pick out than try and snot it out into a tissue.

As an aside, I blame my mother for the fact that I never learnt a genteel little lady sniff into a hanky, more like an elephant snort while all around dive for cover!

Same yolo, how can you not pick those gross crusty ones? Its satisfying on a level with squeezing a blackhead

I once pawned a ring my exes’ mum gave me and used the money to buy a kitten ...

Kittens are miles better than jewellery.

I can't do a outdoor squat to wee because it sprays like a watering can flower head and not in a nice steady stream. My calves and ankles get soaked.

I've laughed out loud a lot reading this thread. I'm sorry but the "richard the third" footlong in the train loo is one of the best things I've ever read on here. Absolute magic.