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AIBU?

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Original poster

..to lightheardly ask what shameful thing you need to admit to?

142 replies

RoyEastmannKodak · 05/02/2020 20:58

When no one is around to see me, and when the food was really yummy, I lick the plate clean. Regularly.

I am a 47 year old educated and professional woman. I don't think people would ever expect this of me. I caught sight of my reflection when doing this earlier and I looked like a hungry stray dog Blush

What do you do that people don't know about?

OP posts:
Sally2791 · 05/02/2020 22:47

Outdoors wees are the best.

yolofish · 05/02/2020 22:54

As my mother always used to say "a penis is handy thing to take on a picnic"!

starfishmummy · 05/02/2020 23:03

DS is the master of silent but very deadlies.
They're not all his Blush. He knows of course and as he usually announces that he has done one, dh knows too. I just smile serenely Halo

TheNestedIf · 05/02/2020 23:11

I nibble on those cat and dog treat sticks.

I don't even own any pets and buy them specially.

Northernsoullover · 05/02/2020 23:15

I'm absolutely disgusting when I eat alone. I kind of hoover my food off the fork. I have impeccable table manners in company.

MrsToothyBitch · 05/02/2020 23:25

I fart a lot and just stay quiet about it.
I lick the plate sometimes.

FREEM · 05/02/2020 23:28

when I was 11 I once didn't like the sausage part of my sausage roll and put it in a post box
this was at secondary school.. we alloewed into town to buy lunch

HauntedSocks · 05/02/2020 23:35

I pissed myself on the tube when I was 16...luckily I was wearing a long black trench coat and boots to hide it 😬

Parkmama · 05/02/2020 23:45

I have a haemorrhoid from being pregnant and it's often itchy, I probably itch it everyday to alleviate the itch Confused

LooseleafTea · 06/02/2020 01:52

I can’t resist pulling hair out - I almost always have tweezers on me and when no one is looking i am often at it . It doesn’t show as on my face mostly rather than head. I have several moles grow a hair and I can’t relax until any new one is pulled out Blush. I think it’s more I like the feel of it than anxiety related but it’s hard to stop

Weirdomagnet · 07/02/2020 17:24

This thread is making me laugh.

Once (ok, maybe more than once) I made a lovely cake when ex was at work. I couldn't resist a little nibble after it came out the oven all fresh & lovely..

I ate the lot. The whole feckn cake.

To be fair, despite being a knob overall he was quite sympathetic about me dropping my cake on the floor after all that effort 😶

Bubblemonkey · 07/02/2020 18:34

Once upon a time, as an adult, I shat at the road side. Miles away from anything. Horrendous cramps, could barely stand straight with them... wiped with the sock I’d been wearing😳😇

SuperPixie247 · 07/02/2020 19:19

At the grand age of 27, last week I had my first outdoor wee!

GrumpyMug2 · 07/02/2020 19:22

I stick my fingers in my ears and let my cat lick the ear wax drops mic

Ispywithmycynicaleye · 07/02/2020 19:22

When I was 8 i really really wanted a little sister. So i poked holes in my parents condoms which I found while taking in their room. That's my biggest confession Grin

I also lick my knife and since on the topic of farts, when I fart they get blamed on the toy stuffed duck we have in the house. DP now looks at the teddy and say 'duckyyyy is that you' Grin

MovingBriskyOn · 07/02/2020 19:23

Another one here who loves an outdoor wee, but I don't consider it shameful.

Once when my ex was being an absolute arse, I deliberately burnt a hole in his new jacket with my cigarette. I was very sympathetic when he noticed it. That really wasn't v nice of me

Ispywithmycynicaleye · 07/02/2020 19:23

*found while 'raking' their room

MovingBriskyOn · 07/02/2020 19:24

Did your evil ploy work, Ispy?

Elephantonascooter · 07/02/2020 19:24

Nose picking... Sometimes eating too. I Dont know why. I know I'm rank. Dh does it too.

Baluga · 07/02/2020 19:26

I talk to inanimate objects. Don’t like making a single cup of tea because the poor tea bag would have to leave its friends on his own. I have issues Blush

Gammeldragz · 07/02/2020 19:29

The last time I got really drunk I shat on the stairs. Apparently. I blamed the cat when the kids asked. DH does not blame the cat (he cleared it up). I didn't realise until I woke up and had to wash the bedding and take a shower.
I haven't been drunk since.

PH30B3 · 07/02/2020 19:29

I save my morning poo to do at work on work time. I get very few perks

Gammeldragz · 07/02/2020 19:30

I was very impressed with my obviously excellent balance though.

TriangleBingoBongo · 07/02/2020 19:30

The dog didn't eat the magic stars yesterday.
It was an emotional day, I even had the nerve to say, fuck. Do you think the dog needs to go to the vets after all that chocolate.
DH thought I was mother Theresa for then watching the dog to make sure he was ok. Obviously he was. He wasnt the greedy fuck who inhaled a massive bag of chocolate stars.

This made me LOL!

I think I’m quite tame compared to you all. I do love an outdoors wee. At events I much prefer to wee in a Bush than in a porta loo.

Ispywithmycynicaleye · 07/02/2020 19:32

@MovingBriskyOn No 😂😂😂

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