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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For saying my partner is shit in bed ?

120 replies

Isitsummeryet123456 · 05/02/2020 17:45

NC for this one.

So.. myself my dp and my ds who is 2 years old went to the park today this afternoon , having a lovely time etc .

I take ds on the round bowl type swing that you can lie in and gently swing, me and ds are swinging gently , and my dp comes over and starts pushing and pushing higher and faster, I tell him politely to stop please .. as I don’t particularly like it and neither does DS, he keeps going and keeps going and is not listening to me tell him to stop - by this point i have asked him to stop nicely around 5 times , as now feeling sick and light headed, and I’ve jokingly said ( to attempt to get him to stop) right , no more sex for you then. He just starts laughing it off , and carries on.. and said “thats Rubbish” and I said “Well it’s shit anyway” (it isn’t , but the one Way to get him to actually stop pushing was to say something he was not expecting )

He stopped almost immediately.

The only way I could get him to stop pushing the fucking swing was to insult him!!!

He is now not talking to me and thinks this is all my fault and has said how horrible I am.

He just wasn’t respecting myself and our ds when I repeatedly told him to please stop pushing.

Have I been completely out of order ?!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 05/02/2020 18:10

Creepy as fuck

Original poster
Isitsummeryet123456 · 05/02/2020 18:14

Ds didn’t hear as he was crying !!! Hence the reason why I wanted him to stop so much . Out of interest what could I have said ? I couldn’t physically get off myself

OP posts:
MorningNinja · 05/02/2020 18:19

"Stop this fucking swing and when you're done, get home and pack your stuff". This relationship doesn't sound healthy or respectful OP.

WorraLiberty · 05/02/2020 18:19

I couldn’t physically get off myself

So you're both shit at sex?

< Stifles laugh >

Candyfloss99 · 05/02/2020 18:24

Wow what messed up communication.

Dyrne · 05/02/2020 18:24

So you didn’t want to shout or swear but you were happy to bang on about sex? Hmm

Your DP sounds like a twat but you reacted bizzarely.

Quartz2208 · 05/02/2020 18:28

His son was crying and he didn’t stop. That is not a good parent

Your partner is an absolute bully and you are stuck thinking the only leverage you have is sex. This is an awful toxic relationship

mrsm43s · 05/02/2020 18:28

He was being a twat, but your response was entirely inappropriate. You both need to grow up.

JRUIN · 05/02/2020 18:28

You both sound like children yourselves. Maybe you should have asked your 2yr old to push YOU two on the swings Hmm

Pinkyyy · 05/02/2020 18:33

Are you actually serious in asking what else you could have said?

Interestedwoman · 05/02/2020 18:33

YANBU. Does he ever override your 'no' in other areas of life?

Tombliwho · 05/02/2020 18:34

Just bizarre all round. Odd relationship.

Ouchaheadinmybehind · 05/02/2020 18:34

Ds didn’t hear as he was crying !!! Hence the reason why I wanted him to stop so much

Is this horrible man The father of DS? I knew someone like this. Did the exact same thing to kids on a swing to “build character”.Horrible abusive twat.

YWBU to insult his abilities in bed but he is a bully & a terrible father. What grown man purposely carries on doing something that is making a child cry ffs?

20CMB20 · 05/02/2020 18:36

Why do you think that swearing would have made him stop?

Lovesgood · 05/02/2020 18:38

He cant be good in bed if he doesnt respect your boundaries.

puds11 · 05/02/2020 18:38

You both sound awful.

speakout · 05/02/2020 18:39

Why did you ask him "nicely" five times?

Why not just ask once and seriously- without the need to swear or resort to childish tactics?

Utterly bizarre post.

category12 · 05/02/2020 18:39

If he'll ignore you asking to stop and the fact that his child is crying and scared, then he's a prick you should do more than simply insult.

lunar1 · 05/02/2020 18:41

The right and wrongs of what was said wouldn't matter to me. I would leave him for behaving like that.

Creweneck · 05/02/2020 18:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

willowmelangell · 05/02/2020 18:43

You could have said/screeched/shouted "STOP! The baby is crying and I'm going to be sick, you prat!! Stop the blinking swing RIGHT NOW!!"
Throwing the sex hand grenade at him is just bizarre.
He was dumb/stupid/crap dad etc, your response is just weird.
He is not talking to you and said how horrible you are. He must have felt that comment dig right to his very core.
Perhaps he is using this quiet time to re think your relationship.

JeffreyJefferson · 05/02/2020 18:49

Confused ok then

Mia1415 · 05/02/2020 18:54

I'd have been yelling 'stop immediately' and then I'd have been questioning the relationship. If ANYONE was doing something that was making my DS cry and me feel ill and not listening to me telling them to stop, they are not someone I'd have in my life anymore.

And sex would be the absolute last thing on my mind.

What is wrong with you? Have some respect.

PawPawNoodle · 05/02/2020 18:55

I think it was odd that you chose to humiliate your partner instead of dealing with the issue at hand.

Anothernick · 05/02/2020 18:56

He was completely out of order not to stop when you asked him but to criticise someones sexual performance is deeply wounding, even more so if it isn't true. Sex should not be used as a form of discipline about unconnected issues in a relationship.