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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Tell me your CF experiences

87 replies

GaaaaarlicBread · 05/02/2020 12:22

Still stuck in bed and reading some CF stories . Made me think, what’s your most CF experience that’s made you question people ?
Mine was a few years back I was still living with my parents, I was about 20, not long before I moved out , and I was walking my dog down the road (we lived on a cul-de-sac and knew every neighbour and got on well with them-apart from one of them who was just vile to us from the start), I walked by their house and he was stood at his door staring at me. I said ‘morning John’ and he didn’t say anything . I saw him again when I was going by his house again with the dog , and again he stared at me. Our dog would never poo or wee on the pavement she only goes on grass , she’s a bit fussy. But we walked on the pavement rather than down the middle of the road, fair enough?
I got home and about an hour later I looked out my bedroom window to see John Smith placing dog shit outside our door . My parents are very shy and don’t do confrontation, and wouldn’t say anything so I went right out and questioned him. He said ‘don’t you dare walk your dog on my pavement again, it’s dirty’ , I said ‘she didn’t do anything she just walked ‘ and he said ‘yes but she could’ve done and I walk on the pavement to get to my car’ . I just stood there and I was like ‘wait a minute though who’s shit is this?’ And he walked off smirking . Later on after further inspection my parents came to the conclusion it was human shit .

Never got over it , completely freaked out and confused about it to this day !

So what are your best ‘what the heck?’ stories ?

OP posts:
drinkygin · 05/02/2020 12:26

That’s not CF that’s just absolutely fucking weird

GaaaaarlicBread · 05/02/2020 12:32

@drinkygin very true , he was so weird

OP posts:
UrgentHelp12345 · 05/02/2020 12:53

When i first moved to the area ( was moved to temporary accomidation fleeing DV ) the alcholic woman next door was a right CF

A week after moving in i went on gumtree and bought a cheap slide and mini trampoline for my DC,

Theyd been dropped off when my DC were in bed so the next day i was well excited to show them the next day. Wed had to leave all of our belongings and furniture so i was more than pleased with my gumtree find!

Went to let my DC play in the garden and the kids next door ( lot older than mine ) were playing on the mini trampoline & slide . They were for toddlers, not proper kids , as soon as I opened the door they all ran back to their own garden ( large gate and fence seperating gardens ) they had put a hole in the min tranpoline

Sometime later the mum came into my garden and said shed told the kids they could play with the stuff in the garden Confused

After living there for 4 months i decided to get WIFI installed as i was paying a fortune going over my phone data, day after it was installed CF neighbour sent her 9 year old daughter round asking for the wifi password

A week or so after that I came home and found the neighbours teenage son in my hallway, id forgotten to lock the back door and his mum had told him he could come round and get the wifi password!

I am ashamed to say i didnt ring the police Blush when i first moved i was a shell of my former self and thid woman intimidated me, she was always outside laye at night shouting and drinking with loud men,

I did have cross words with her about it and after that she had a vendetta, the music and friends coning round got worse, screeching outside right outside DC 18 months window

It went on for a few weeks & one day after a bad night with DC being kept awake I was in the garden with my DC when she came outside with 2 of her friends,

I cant remember how it started but I ended up going mad at her and her friends about keeping the DC up, i was furious at this point, id been so meek and mild for months she was so surprised, i was raging.

She fucking left me alone after that Angry wish id of snapped a lot sooner!!

PepsiLola · 05/02/2020 12:55

I would have smeared that poo on his door!

GaaaaarlicBread · 05/02/2020 13:00

@UrgentHelp12345 I don’t even know what to say !! I’m shocked !!! That must’ve been such a terrible time !

OP posts:
Yellowcakestand · 05/02/2020 13:10

Christ, Id have gone mad!

I wrote this as a post before...
I came home one day and there was washing on my line in the back garden, I hadn't done any washing.
I didn't have a side gate at the time but the garden was fenced. House, not a flat.
I went to put something out in the bin and my next door neighbour (who is v strange and sometimes speaks, sometimes ignores) came out of his house and asked me to check if his washing was dry and if not, can I 're-hang' it as he didn't do it properly!

I was gobsmacked!

GaaaaarlicBread · 05/02/2020 13:13

@Yellowcakestand how do these people think these things are ok ?! I wouldn’t dare !!! 😳

OP posts:
Cyberve · 05/02/2020 13:26

Yellowcakestand

Think you have to get crazy back with these kind of people.

Like stand there watching him, while you take the clothes off the line and then put them in the bin. Then just walk off like it was totally normal.

JanuaryJones20 · 05/02/2020 13:30

A friend who lives overseas sent a new baby pressie for a mutual friend along with my DC’s christening pressie. Fair enough postage is 💸 and she knew friend would be able to pick up at Christening.

Unfortunately it arrived after the event, but other friend chased me daily to see if it had arrived - no joke. I said when it did would give to her DBIL if I saw him (we’re friends). Didn’t (and he lives across the other side of town so wasn’t making a trip with two babies in tow).

Her BIL went on hol then we went on hol. When I got back she was furious that I still had the present over a month later - now I know she lives over an hr away but isn’t her responsibility to come and get it from me. But no it became clear that her and the friend that had posted it fully thought it was my responsibility! These are grown up professional women. In the end she demanded I posted it. I sort of thought she would offer to reimburse me when it arrived. But it wasn’t about that more about the faff of packing it up and having to drag 2 under 2’s all the way to the PO and back (plus it was a parcel and did end up costing nearly £5). Never even got so much as thank you. Not one word. Wouldn’t have even known it had arrived if it wasn’t for the tracking. Neither of them have ever thanked me. It was the death knell in an already precarious friendship.

Retpark101 · 05/02/2020 13:36

Not as crazy as some of PPs but I Have a friend who sometimes comes over with her two DCs (8 and 10) last Friday they came over as I was getting DD down for a nap in her room so I texted her saying I’d left the front door unlocked so just come in but be quiet and Sit in the living room, I’ll be out in a minute.

DD asleep and they are in the living room watching tv. Her DS starts giggling about biscuits or something and my friend said “they’ve gone and nicked your chocolate digestives our the cupboard haha!” They had both eaten over half the packet and given the rest to my hamster (poked the biscuits through it’s cage) so I had to awkwardly fish them out. My friend found it hilarious and didn’t Apologise for the fact her kids just helped themselves to my food without asking (I’d have definitely given them a biscuit if they’d asked)

When DD was a lot younger (3 ish months old) they would deliberately knock on her bedroom door to wake her up and laugh when she started to cry and I had to go resettle her. The mum didn’t do anything and found it funny. They also used to put things in my dishwasher like kitchen roll and the tv remote, then not tell me.

I rarely have her at mine now, last week was a one off. I normally go to hers or meet her somewhere Confused funnily enough she’s a good laugh but I cannot stand her coming to mine

BlueChangeling · 05/02/2020 13:47

Nowhere near as bad as the others on the thread but the other day I was going into our office block just a few minutes after closing so you need a staff card for entry, it was pouring rain. When swiping my card another member of staff (don't know his name just recognised him from about the building) asked could I let him in, he'd left his card on his desk. I said sure not a problem. He replied great I need you to wait there while I have a smoke and started to spark one up.

He was really not happy and called me difficult when I replied I'd just let him in if he was still there when leaving the building in ten minutes.

BumpyNugget · 05/02/2020 15:09

By the time I was 15, my parents were dead and so were all my grandparents. My much older brother took me in to live with him, his wife and their blended brood of 7 children.

It was about 9 months before I was due to leave school. Further education was out of the question and I was pushed into working full time in a factory for a pittance the day I left School. This was the early nineties for context and I was on two pounds an hour, so after tax and national insurance I wasn't earning much. SIL's son was the same age as me and was on the same wages.
She made me pay thirty pounds a week room and board and was vociferous about making sure I had paid up every Friday. Her son was supposed to pay the same as me. He virtually never coughed up but never had a word said to him about it.

All the kids who were old enough were supposed to share cleaning the house (all the cleaning), cooking, shopping, washing up and laundry. There was a chart.
Guess who was the only one who complied. Yes, me because I was petrified of her vicious tongue, general nastiness and occasional physical violence. I also covered her kids chores that they refused to do because I would also get punished when they didn't do their chores.

Her and my brother used to fuck off out to visit friends and leave me to cook all their kids dinner/tea/supper. They quite often did so leaving no food in the cupboard, fridge nor freezer. So, after paying my room and board, I had to pay again to feed myself and seven kids out my left over wages. I remember on more than one occasion being out of money and resorting to stealing a bag of spuds from outside the local corner shop in order to cook her fucking ungrateful brats some chips.

Sometimes I managed to keep a little of my hard earned money. Her kids used to steal from my purse while I was asleep and spend it on sweets. I was gaslighted and told I must have been a stupid clumsy little bitch and lost it. One of them told me years later that they had taken money from me. I also suspect that SIL took some.

While I was still in school, I had two twenty pence pieces in my jacket pocket once that my uncle had given me (keep the change from going to the shop for him) , she even took that.

Also while still in school, I had money given for clothing that my social worker arranged. The second my social worker left, SIL took the envelope...no clothes were purchased.

So, at 16 I was working 40 hours a week. Walking 2.5 hours a day to get there and back up two of the steepest hills you ever saw, one on the way there, one on the way back. I used to arrive home ready to fall to the ground. I had to the clean, cook the evening meal and wash up.

She called me a lazy cunt and brow beat me into taking a second job waitressing 3 nights a week and Sunday afternoons. There were times when I used to sit in the restaurant kitchen barely able to move from exhaustion because I didn't even have time to eat. I used to buy a yogurt to quickly eat at work and steal a few chips from the kitchen.

My brother and SIL were on the dole.

Brother used to do stuff about the house but my SIL never lifted a god damn finger. Children weren't children to her, they were servants to be screamed at and berated for the slightest failure to do her exact bidding.

A nice little CF additional.
When I was nearing eighteen, I got a BF.
I was a virgin at this point.
Being a responsible sort, I went to the GP in order to go on the pill just in case we got serious (we did, he became DH and still is).
She found my pills.
Called me a right little fucking slag

The cheeky fucker part (or maybe just massive hypocrite)?

Her 15 year old daughter was in the next room holding her six week old baby having been fucking anything in trousers since she was eleven years old.

Phew, that was cathartic.

CokeAndCrispsAndDip · 05/02/2020 15:19

Blimey BumpyNugget, that hurts my heart. Are you happy now? That's a horrific story, my heart goes out to you

Pinkette06 · 05/02/2020 15:31

@BumpyNuggetFlowers what a bitch your sil was. And sounds like your dB was a coward for letting her do it? Do you have contact now?

BumpyNugget · 05/02/2020 15:51

I got away from her at eighteen.

My lovely social worker started meeting me alone by taking me out to lunch instead of meeting me at home with SIL watching and listening. She spoke to the local council and helped me navigate the council housing process which resulted in the council offering me a little high rise flat. I accepted with a lot of gratitude.

SIL was not quite finished with me though. She kept everything that I came with from my parents home. Furniture, TV, electrical appliances, toys,
towels and bedding. She gave away my childhood family photos to other relatives and threw the ones they didn't want in the bin. I did sneak a few of my favourites out that she didn't know I had stashed away. She even kept my cloths that were left in the laundry basket on the day I moved out.

I missed my brother but to be away from her was bliss, like climbing out of a stinking full cess pit and finding yourself suddenly in a beautiful sunlit flower meadow. (We were sleeping on sofa cushions on a bare floor but it felt great, free)

My BF moved in (later getting married) and we slowly worked to get a home together. It took years and was not without it's ups and downs but yes we have been mostly happy.

SIL is now old, unwell and alone.

After my brother died, all their kids stopped visiting and moved away.

I guess you reap what you see.

BumpyNugget · 05/02/2020 16:02

Reap what you sew not see, bloody autocorrect.

My brother wasn't a coward, more oblivious. He didn't see a lot of the nastier stuff, she used to save it mostly for when he was out. He believed she was just teaching us how to be self sufficient for the most part. It would have been more than my life was worth to grass her up. I would have been in a local authority care home before I could blink.

No, I don't have any contact with her.

DH sometimes sees her in town and she tells him stuff but frankly, I couldn't give a toss.

I tried to give her a hug to comfort her the day of my brothers burial. She threw me off with a nasty look on her face. That was the last straw for me.

Fuck her.

crispysausagerolls · 05/02/2020 16:04

Her 15 year old daughter was in the next room holding her six week old baby having been fucking anything in trousers since she was eleven years old

I’m really sorry for you but come on, this is a disgraceful thing to say! An 11 year old wasn’t “fucking” anyone. She was being raped. What the fuck.

Winterwoollies · 05/02/2020 16:15

@crispsausagerolls I think, based on the level of abuse the poster was suffering at the hands of that woman, you can allow her some hindsight flippancy. Get a fucking grip.

crispysausagerolls · 05/02/2020 16:22

@winterwoollies Come on! The SIL sounds like an absolute bitch and it’s shocking what she did. But no, I don’t think it’s ok to talk about an 11 year old that way.

DimplesToadfoot · 05/02/2020 16:34

2 years ago my dog. The light of my life died, I was heartbroken still am

A few weeks later a good friend asked to borrow a fair bit of money, she's always paid me back so I lent it. A couple of weeks after she posted a hand painted picture of my dog, I raved on FB about how nice my friend was and what a lovely thing she had done (I actually hated the picture, the colour was wrong but I blamed computer graphics) so my friend was covered in glory and she basked in it.

Then it came time for her to repay me the money, she didn't, she ghosted me instead.

Turns out the amount I lent her was the same amount she paid for this painting, so in theory I've paid for the bloody thing myself.

She's still on FB borrowing money off other people and the odd time I've tried to say be careful lending to her I get shut down as "she was so nice to me in sending me this painting"

I no longer say anything, nor do I lend anyone anything anymore.

Thankfully my peri menopausal horrifically bad temper is currently weeding out the CF"s in my life that have taken advantage for years and I'm loving it lol

bingbangbing · 05/02/2020 16:36

I get where you're coming from @crispysausagerolls but when you're brought up in that sort of environment, your moral compass is screwed.

There's a whole sub-culture of people living like that.

@BumpyNugget well done in having the strength to get the fuck out and making a life for yourself. Hope it goes well for you x

Raspberrytruffle · 05/02/2020 16:36

@bumpynugget
You brave lady! Got tears in my eyes for you, this so called human took or stole your childhood away from you , I'm sorry about your brother but he probably new more or didn't care enough to know more. I'd never speak with the 3vil bitch again unless it was to tell her what I thought of her and tell everyone the truth about her . So pleased you managed happiness

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 05/02/2020 16:36

As a victim of childhood abuse and a violent relationship, you have my sympathy, but talking about a child that was obviously being sexually abused, in such a way, is disgusting. I’m so shocked by that comment. It doesn’t matter if she came across as the freakiest wee fucker on earth, she was obviously a victim too.

Her 15 year old daughter was in the next room holding her six week old baby having been fucking anything in trousers since she was eleven years old.

cstaff · 05/02/2020 16:42

@BumpyNugget
How you came out the other end of that "relationship" in one piece, I will never know, but you did. That was one of the saddest most emotional stories I have read on here. You really are some woman. Not many would have survived that and lived to tell the tale.

LilQueenie · 05/02/2020 17:05

Her 15 year old daughter was in the next room holding her six week old baby having been fucking anything in trousers since she was eleven years old.

not necessarily rape if both under the age of consent. given the home life its possible the child was doing this of her own free will seeking what she thought was love/relationship of some sort. I've seen it happen.

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