Tell me your CF experiences

[GaaaaarlicBread]

Still stuck in bed and reading some CF stories . Made me think, what’s your most CF experience that’s made you question people ?
Mine was a few years back I was still living with my parents, I was about 20, not long before I moved out , and I was walking my dog down the road (we lived on a cul-de-sac and knew every neighbour and got on well with them-apart from one of them who was just vile to us from the start), I walked by their house and he was stood at his door staring at me. I said ‘morning John’ and he didn’t say anything . I saw him again when I was going by his house again with the dog , and again he stared at me. Our dog would never poo or wee on the pavement she only goes on grass , she’s a bit fussy. But we walked on the pavement rather than down the middle of the road, fair enough?
I got home and about an hour later I looked out my bedroom window to see John Smith placing dog shit outside our door . My parents are very shy and don’t do confrontation, and wouldn’t say anything so I went right out and questioned him. He said ‘don’t you dare walk your dog on my pavement again, it’s dirty’ , I said ‘she didn’t do anything she just walked ‘ and he said ‘yes but she could’ve done and I walk on the pavement to get to my car’ . I just stood there and I was like ‘wait a minute though who’s shit is this?’ And he walked off smirking . Later on after further inspection my parents came to the conclusion it was human shit .

Never got over it , completely freaked out and confused about it to this day !

So what are your best ‘what the heck?’ stories ?

How the hell is pointing out that saying an 11 year old was “fucking around” isn’t ok, “virtue signalling”. Jesus

Yeah you've made your point @crispysausagerolls .

Moving on anyone got any cf stories ? ....

And the award for most awkwardly ruined light-hearted thread goes to....
Drumroll.
@itsemily and her Tell me your CF experiences!

There was some steep competition, but she DID it! Congrats!

@BumpyNugget just wanna give you a big hug xx

I thought you'd said she shaved your cats arse cos he was getting married for a moment then.

@WalkingDeadTrainee thank you, thank you smiles and waves at audience , I’d like to thank my audience here on MumsNet for always stepping up the game and for always going that step further and causing a train wreck of a post on even the most lighthearted of days . Many thanks

@tsemily

Bumpynugget please don't listen to those criticising what you've said. Coming from an abusive home I understand why you said it. I'm very glad that you've found love and stability. It's a testament to your character and you should be proud not made to feel ashamed.

@BumpyNugget I don’t think a lighthearted thread on AIBU is the best place to recount your traumatic past. I am sure you could get better support on another area of MN.

My DGF had a fall and my DGM asked a new neighbour to come and help pick him up. Sadly, DGF passed shortly afterwards.

DGF had a few sheds full of tools etc absolutely full up. My DGM said to the neighbour to please help himself as a thank you. She didn't ever go into the sheds.

When DGM downsized, my DB and I did some packing. Turns out that this neighbour had taken ALL the tools and had practically ransacked the sheds and abandoned all the crap he didn't want and thrown it about the place.
DGF had always said he'd leave my DB all the tools. There was nothing left.
We would have gone and asked for the tools, but this guy was quite shady, known to police and even his primary school kids intimidated me. I'm pretty sure he sold the lot

Pretty sure she can write it wherever she likes sunshine.

@patroclus of course she can but there are gentler more supportive areas of MN which may be better suited to recounting trauma.

Anymore cf tales? You have all made your points. Please stop derailing the original thread. I will share mine once I know it's gone back to light hearted cf'ness

I hired one of those Rug Doctor machines to clean carpets for the weekend. It ended up being quicker than I expected, so I had a bit of time left in the hire period. I happened to mention this when chatting to a friend.

"oooh" she says "could I borrow it for the remaining time?" There was no benefit to taking it back early, so I agreed. Then she asks what time I can drop it round! I thought she'd pick it up since I was doing her a favour, but no, she expected delivery.

So when I go round with this machine she appears to be getting ready to go out. "Oh perfect!" she says. "I'm just going out now, but I'll leave you here so you can do the downstairs. Just pop the keys through the letter box when you've finished"!

@HalfSizeMe please tell Me you didn’t vacuum her floor.

My favourite CF experience was my brother, who is a notorious tight-arse, asking a friend and me, when we were living at home still, if we wanted some of his lasagne. We said yes. He then proceeded to charge us 5£ per person! Wouldn’t have been as bad but we later discovered all the ingredients were Sainsbury’s basic range so it wouldn’t have cost him a tenner to make anyway - he’d made a profit! Also wouldn’t have been as bad but he was constantly coming out with us to the cinema etc then saying, once there “oh by the way I don’t have any money hope that’s fine”. This brother is older than me!

My CF friend was going to a hospital appointment with a gynae problem. Her DP wasn’t too keen to go with her and sit with a bunch of ladies, plus they’d have to take their 2 boisterous DCs as they had no one to look after them.
I offered to take her thinking it would mean the DP could look after the DCs. A few days before the appointment she messaged me to say how excited the 2 DCs were to be coming to the hospital with us

Retpark101 - I’m shocked by your post - your “friend” is nothing of the sort and she and her sons sound not just spiteful but slightly unhinged!

The behaviour with knocking on the baby’s door alone would make me chuck them out on the spot never to return. It sounds like they walk all over you. Don’t ever leave them alone with your dd will you?

My most recent cf behaviour story was a neighbour who despite moving in around 3 years ago doesn’t give myself or dh so much as a “hello” coming around one day and asking for the package that had apparently been left at our house. Except we had no such package. I told him this and he insisted he had a note saying it had been left at our house (all the while trying to peer past me into the hallway!) I asked him to show me the note which had a name on it which wasn’t mine, and I told him it wasn’t mine to which he replied “what’s your name then?!!”
I can’t remember what I said but I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell him my name the cheeky fucker - he’s a right weirdo! I’m convinced he either thought I’d stolen his parcel (we are very obviously not the kind of people who would do this!) or he just wanted to find out my name so he could stalk me on social media! Nob.

bumpybugget

flyingspaghettimonster - I am howling reading your post - the cheeky bitch! I love the birthday treat story. You must be the biggest doormat I’ve ever encountered though! Please bin her, she really isn’t a good friend despite shaving your cats arse!

@sunshinepoppy I probably would have vacuumed her floor if she'd needed it and been upfront about it. But this was a professional carpet cleaning machine, so really huge and heavy. So you have to vacuum and then shampoo - it's a huge job!

I didn't know what to say, so I waited till she k left and then ran away (taking the machine with me).

I was 8 months pregnant with twins and my DH and I scraped together the money to put our 3 year old in nursery during the week because I was finding it hard to look after her.

My cf friend contacted me to tell me that I needed to look after her 3 year old for the next two weeks because her childminder was unavailable. She told me it would be so much easier for me as my child would be at nursery. She didn’t speak to me again when I refused.

Mine is minor compared to others .
But dh persuaded me to invite his colleagues wife to my hen doo I had met her once . I said ok thinking she won't want to come , anyway she did and asked if she can bring a friend .
Anyway went for a meal and it was agreed that would split bill , they refused so we said ok just pay what you had . The bill was out by £20-£30 so someone hadn't put in or enough so me and a couple of friends topped it up . My Friend was certain it was this colleagues dw & friend as they kicked up the fuss about not splitting the bill . Even when I said who's not put in etc no one owned up . It really upset me that someone would come on my hen doo and not pay for their own meal . Still annoys me years later .

My df hates gardening. We had moved into a new home and df was dragging his feet over doing the garden. C.f. neighbour whose garden was immaculate came round and asked if they could keep pet rabbit hutch in my parents garden so they wouldn't mess their own up.
My dm became a gardener overnight and no the rabbit did not come in our garden.

Mine's not that exciting, and I've told this story on here before, but it's the usual bill-splitting saga. I was down to the fluff in my coat pockets, so bought one drink & the cheapest main, fully intending to cover my £12, plus tip.
Another member of the party had all three courses, a bottle of wine, a G&T and when the bill arrived, another member of the party said 'let's all just pay for what we each had in cash' (I get the feeling she'd noticed I deliberately hadn't ordered anything expensive). So we did that. Payment comes up £50 short.
'Let's just split it between us' says Greedy CFer. So we all add in an extra tenner to cover the cost, plus tip. I absolutely SEETHED with resentment.
The best bit was we'd never met each other before, and it was supposed to be the first inaugural group of our local MN group... they type amongst us

To clarify for LilQueenie
No one under the age of 16 can give consent for sex. They are UNDERAGE and sex with a CHILD is ILLEGAL.
SO no an 11 year old CANNOT consent! In the same manner that someone who is incapacitated by alcohol or drugs or is unconscious cannot give consent!