Aibu to offer my daughter money incentives for good gcse grades?

[Whatsmyname26]

My daughter is just starting to do some GCSEs with her first exam later this year. She is sitting them early and achieving well (looking at a level 5/6 atm) but I would like to encourage her to reach for the higher grades and remember children being given money incentives for different grades when I did my exams. Has anyone done this? Did it help encourage them to work harder to achieve higher marks? If so how much per top grade? She is only sitting one gcse this year and currently looking to sit another either November this year or next June.

Does a reward help incentivise them or should they just work because they should? I should point out she is autistic too.

There is a fundamental difference between being paid to work in the adult world and being paid to study as a child though. As adults, we are generally paid for providing something for someone else, and they pay us, directly or indirectly. Work is basically an exchange of services or goods for money. Educational achievement benefits yourself - you aren't providing anything for anybody else, so why would money change hands?
People can of course treat their own children exactly how they like. If you want to give your children gifts, go for it. Your money, your children, your choice. But it isn't a wage, it is bribery.

What happens if she works really hard and still misses the high grade? Should her efforts stil not be rewarded?

The reward of hard work should just be the grades themselves.

However, if you do want to give an incentive I'd rather see effort rewarded rather than achievement.

We took dd out for a 'posh' meal and day out for good effort and hard work during the half term, part way through the exam season.

We also didn't tell dd in advance. We told her at the time why we were rewarding her effort.

If you do offer anything then please stick to it!
I'm still cross that my older brother was promised and got a watch (1970s) for passing his GCSEs, and I got agreement I could choose which watch as I was taking mine a year early. I wanted a Timex which had a red strap and cream face, which they knew, it was only about 2s 6d more than the cheapest one. However after passing with excellent grades better than my brother and a year early, I was presented with the plain black strapped watch with a white face.

(Honestly it didn't matter I was pleased to get a watch but for a couple of years I felt annoyed that they reneged on on the deal - until I discovered I could buy a red strap for my watch. )

I'm not sure about cash incentives generally, maybe as a last resort depending on the child? I think I'm probably in the rewarding (genuine) effort camp.

Anyway in the OP's situation, if it is the DD who is wanting to take the exam, surely she already has enough of an incentive to work hard. The deal is, we're willing to pay for you to take the exam if you're willing to put in the work for it, no reward needed.

We paid DD. DH had suggested it and she said she didn't want anything for less than a 7. So she had £50 for a 7 and £100 for an 8 or 9. She ended up loaded. If she hadn't have got the results she wanted, the lack of payment would have been the very least of her worries.

Money was just a bonus for her, she's a very driven kid and would have put in just as much effort without the financial bonus.

Money was just a bonus for her, she's a very driven kid and would have put in just as much effort without the financial bonus.

Why bother then?

I’m against incentivising. My parents applied the following, which I’ll uphold with my own children.

Fostering internal motivation is much more effective and healthy in the long run.

Good results should be their own reward. Money distracts from that and sets up expectations that aren’t helpful.

Hard work and effort don’t always pay off. That’s a tough lesson to learn and will be made more difficult if promised cash bonuses don’t materialise.

It’s a terrible approach if you ask me.

Better to make sure she has a something she wants to do with the grades afterwards. I worked my ass off, way more than my friends being given financial incentives, because I knew for Oxford I needed all A*s. I was easily old enough to understand that my future was tied to those grades. There must be something she'd like to do in the future, or if not get her thinking about it, because it's not far off now. Better to have the master plan.

My DSis and I were paid for our GCSEs. I can't remember about A levels.

DSis is the elder, so it was an incentive for her to study hard and do her best. Yes good grades open up doors for the future, but that is not the most important thing on your mind when you are 16.

We are talking end of the 90s here and with the old grades, so it was £15 for an A or A*, £10 for a B, and £5 for a C if memory serves (it may have been something for a below C pass as well). DSis wanted the money so did work harder. They then had to do the same for me so I made a nice amount that year!

It depends on the child - we found it motivating and not adding pressure, some may not respond that way. If you do, have a scale for grades so it does not feel as 'all or nothing'.

Since this agreement he's been scoring 4 or 5 goals a week. The first thing he does is run in and tell me how much money he's made.

I’d be appalled if my child was doing this.

Mostly concerned that she’s taking the exams early when she’s only set to achieve 5/6. It’s a noble grade but only really equivalent to a C or low grade B at best. I’m a FE tutor and wouldn’t advise someone set to achieve average grades takes the exams early.

Why? He's 5.
He has a dream of buying a new kit.
We've told him that we're not buying it. So he's worked out how many goals he needs to score before he can afford it.

I'm very proud

I agree with chocolatedaim that the real parental support, which my mum offered in buckets, is making sure you have a comfortable place to study, that your breaks are enjoyable, that you have good revision guides and stimulating materials, maybe some Haribo or something while you study, someone to quiz you, to buy you nice pens for revision notes, etc etc. This is what I remember as the thing that made it all a lot less hellish. And unconditional love whatever your grades are at the other side.

Why? He's 5

Exactly. The idea of reducing performance in a team sport to monetary reward at that age appals me.

I’d prefer to teach him to play well every week because it’s important to do his best, support his team mates, work together. And no, that’s not measured in goals scored.

No problem with him earning his kit by saving his pocket money or something.

Yea...so as an adult woman i am capable of doing all of that.
But he wanted to know why the players on TV get paid and he doesn't.
So now he does.

He doesn't get pocket money. You don't get money for existing. It has to be earned.
And he does chores because he lives in the house so he's not getting paid for that either.

I'm very proud

There are times when I realise how different my values are to others on here.

I know you're saying why not take them early, but my reply would be "why take them early"? If she isn't set for the top grade early, which would bag her one of her grades early, why demotivate her with an average result that she has to retake?

There are times I realise how lucky I am to be around the RL people here.

We got the idea from the other parents in the teams 😅

But he wanted to know why the players on TV get paid and he doesn't.

There’s an easy answer to that.

I think amateur sport is immensely valuable for people. So what happens when he’s asked to play for his school, his university, his local team, with his mates? Are you subsidising all that?

Five year olds should be taught to love sport for its own sake. The vast majority won’t be a premier league players. But it will bring them health and happiness if fostered in the right way.

I find this proposal really disturbing and giving such a wrong message.

It is what leads young people so entitled when they enter the workforce. They understandably believe that any requests that isn't written in black and white in their contract should come with additional pay, that they should do anything more than the minimum unless there is a reward attached to it.

Wanting better grades should come from herself because she has a desire to excel. If she doesn't have it, then it's absolutely fine, not every person aims for the top and that's ok. She is currently doing well and if she's happy with it, then that's her right.

If you want to encourage her to do better, explain to her what the benefits of doing so are so that she does it for herself rather than for pocketing money.

My dad offered me £10 for every standard grade I got a 3 (what he considered a pass) or above on, plus £100 on top if I did that with them all. Two 1s, five 2s and two 3s cost him £190! I didn't get the same offer with my highers but I had a part time job by then so was okay for money. Can't say it incentivised me to study any more but I was doing pretty well at school anyway, maths and drama aside!

@LaurieMarlow my son is good.
As in getting scouted and going to trials good.
He might never make it. But he wants to do this as his life.

It is the only thing he ever plays. So he plays with his friends every break and every lunch time. We take him to the park and he takes a ball.

He goes to three football clubs a week, trains with the city's academy and plays for the local team.

He only gets played for matches. Because you can play football for fun but you play matches to win.

He gets up at 5 am eve try day to come downstairs and watch matches he has recorded. If I watch with him he can tell me what the next move is. Who takes it and who receives it.

He doesn't need to be told this is fun he is obsessed.

There is a level for most kids where it's just 'fun' however when you start going to the real clubs and the academies and trials it's not about fun. It's about who's the best. Who wins and who's the best asset.

He wants to get on the big city team. I've told him for that he has to win. And trying his best is all he can do but sometimes it's not enough. That there's other kids better. So he needs to keep pushing.

He doesn't need to be told this is fun he is obsessed.

Great, let him understand the rewards of doing well for its own sake, rather than making everything about money.

Intrinsic motivation is what gets people places.

I did same with my son, it definatly motivated him.
£30 for a c or b and £50 for an A.
It cost me £260 and im so glad i did it, iv now just offered my yoinger son same deal, hes doing his GCSE's this year, kinda concerned though as his mocks have pulled in all As , haha

No any incentives for exam success are a terrible idea