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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To just rant at you about how much of a FUCKING PRICK my husband is

84 replies

GetOutOfTheCookieJar · 04/02/2020 20:33

Long story short, he's stressed with work. He's come home tonight in a fucking foul mood and made me his verbal punching bag.

Everything I do he's moaned at. He was trying to sort something and asked me to hold his torch for him so I did, he then gets wound up with said thing and turns to storm off shouting at me to 'GET OUT HIS WAY' like a piece of shit.

Calms down a bit after tea (that I've cooked) and resumes doing thing in the porch only to start getting pissed off again. Meanwhile he's asked me to wrap something up for him to send to the post office tomorrow which I'm doing in the living room. Comes in, in a strop, and sarcastically starts going on at me 'did you mean to wrap this up like shit?' blah blah speaking to me like a fucking child.

I've come out to the car to literally scream my head off. I wanted to tell him to fuck himself, to look after his own kids (my step kids) when he needs to do overtime (I do this all the time because he's so busy), to make his own fucking meals and to wash his own stupid fucking clothes and do all his own admin for his business, I want to scream at him that he'd have gone under a long bloody time ago if it weren't for me doing all accounts, HMRC, dealing with website etc... For his business because he can't handle it.

Instead I've left the house and am parked in my car in a layby because my step kids were home (who I'd been looking after before he got home from work) and I didn't want to cause any more of a scene than when id shouted at him to stop being horrid.

Rant over. I am FUMING. And yes in typical MN fashion, I am pregnant Smile (and now worried because I've literally just screamed my head off in absolute hormonal rage - it won't do any harm will it?)

OP posts:
Sexnotgender · 04/02/2020 20:37

Stop doing shit for him. You’re not his slave and he’s an ungrateful turd.

Sparklesocks · 04/02/2020 20:39

Oh god he sounds horrible. Is he always like that?

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/02/2020 20:39

Being pregnant doesn’t stop you from leaving. You need to leave. He sounds like my ex, life got so much better when I left.

Screaming won’t hurt your baby but living in misery with a stressed out unhappy mum and an abusive arsehole dad won’t give them the happy, secure life they deserve.

Butterymuffin · 04/02/2020 20:40

Go to a hotel for tonight. Seriously. Then tomorrow tell him you'll be going permanently if he behaves like that again.

And make him take his own bloody parcel to the post office.

speakout · 04/02/2020 20:41

OP wihout being harsh it takes two to allow this sort of dynamic.

You are enabling his behaviour.

I speak as someone who has been in an abusive relationship.

Things will not be improved by a new baby.

I would suggest you change this relationship before the baby comes along, or bale out.

Life is too short to be treated this way.

BeNiceToYourSister · 04/02/2020 20:41

He sounds awful OP. Agree with PP - stop doing stuff for him! Stop it now!

puds11 · 04/02/2020 20:42

So go tell him that 🤷‍♀️ He’s not a mind reader. Tell him he’s an arsehole and needs to buck up. If he doesn’t I wouldn’t bother sticking around, baby or no baby.

user14928465 · 04/02/2020 20:42

Screaming won’t hurt your baby but living in misery with a stressed out unhappy mum and an abusive arsehole dad won’t give them the happy, secure life they deserve.

This covers it.

LouReidDododo · 04/02/2020 20:42

I’d be more worried about the life you are your child will have with this bully.

It’s not normal for your husband to speak to you like that.

timeisnotaline · 04/02/2020 20:43

Pack a bag. Have you parents nearby you can stay with? Are you still working so could afford a hotel? If not, find a friend you could stay with for a few days from tomorrow.tell him his behaviour is unacceptable and you never ever want a baby of yours to hear their mum spoken to like that.

frazzledasarock · 04/02/2020 20:43

Now you know why he got divorced the first time.

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/02/2020 20:44

He’s not a mind reader.

What the actual fuck.

He doesn’t need to be a mind reader. He needs to not be a bastard.

HalfBiscuit · 04/02/2020 20:49

Is he always like this?

puds11 · 04/02/2020 20:50

@AnneLovesGilbert obviously, but he’s clearly quite happy being a bastard. No one should behave like that but when they do and aren’t pulled up on it they are hardly going to spontaneously change are they Hmm

TheReef · 04/02/2020 20:50

I hope you unwrapped the parcel and shoved it up his miserable abusive arse!

Seriously op I'd stop doing anything for him until he apologises and sorts his shit out

Neverender · 04/02/2020 20:52

Of course it won't do any harm, but dear god...run. Flowers

Neverender · 04/02/2020 20:53

Put your foot down now (as others have suggested) or this is how life will be now

MargotLargot · 04/02/2020 20:54

There are two fools in this scenario.

And only one is getting free childcare and dinner cooked for them.

GetOutOfTheCookieJar · 04/02/2020 20:56

Is he always like this?

No, he's usually lovely... until he gets really stressed like this.

OP posts:
JRUIN · 04/02/2020 21:00

Why the hell did you decide to have a kid with this pig of a man? Christ it's going to be even worse when your own child is born and you have to bite your lip letting him get away with treating you like shit for the sake of your child too.
By the way do not be blaming your rage on pregnancy hormones, that's what he'd like you to think I'm sure, but it is caused entirely by him.

EL0ISE · 04/02/2020 21:00

I see you do stuff for his business. Stop doing that unless he pays you a salary. Or its a limited company and you own part of it.

Stop looking after your step kids too, that’s his job. If he cant look after the kids he’s got, why is he having more ?

It sounds like he’s using you.

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 04/02/2020 21:00

until he gets really stressed like this.

Oh joy. I’m sure his behaviour will really improve, once you have a baby with him. 🙄 Seriously OP, why are you putting up with a shitty man. Who did a number on you, to make you think you deserve this kind of treatment?

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/02/2020 21:01

Bringing a baby into the mix isn’t going to reduce anyone’s stress levels

FoamingAtTheUterus · 04/02/2020 21:01

You need to do the 'who the fuck do you think you're talking to ? ' thing and walk off.

Engage no further. If you can go somewhat else for a couple of days then do.it. And give him time to reflect on how to manage his emotions like an adult.

lyingwanker · 04/02/2020 21:02

Tell him everything you just wrote in your post. Why wouldn't you? He's taking the piss and needs to realise that you're not there to be treated like shit

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