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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to send him to Nursery with a Virus?

97 replies

meelamo · 04/02/2020 18:06

I probably am BU. DS came down with a temperature on Sunday night, (between 38 and 39). Had a bit of a rash and seemed generally unwell. Kept him home Monday and today. He still has a temperature. He's usually very active and playful. Hates cuddles and sitting still. But all he's done today and yesterday is sit down on my lap mostly, cuddling up with his blanket. Unheard of for him. So, clearly feeling rubbish fighting whatever he's caught.

Have taken him to the GP. They think he's fighting some kind of viral illness and if he doesn't improve by Thursday to bring him back just in case.

So, wibu to send him to Nursery tomorrow? DH thinks we should. I don't. I also think I'm catching whatever DS has as I've felt generally unwell today. I only started my job at the beginning of January so feel bad having already taken two days off, tomorrow will be day three but it makes more sense for me to have the time off than DH because he also started a new job in January. It pays a lot more than my job. And if I am catching what DS has then obviously it makes sense for me to stay home with him rather than healthy DH. I don't think DS should be going when he's clearly poorly, needing rest and has a temperature higher than 38.

OP posts:

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 04/02/2020 18:07

If you think youre catching it why would you send DS in so children can catch it or the staff?

I agree with you.

Wildorchidz · 04/02/2020 18:07

Yes. It would be wrong to send him.

Raindancer411 · 04/02/2020 18:08

No don't send him, it is unfair to possibly pass it around and you will probably get a call to go get him anyway.

D4rwin · 04/02/2020 18:09

He's sat miserable on your knee and he's thinking of packing him off to nursery? That's absolutely batshit

JosefKeller · 04/02/2020 18:10

Of course you can't send him.

not fair on him, who clearly needs to rest at home

not fair on the other children

If all the parents were keeping their kids home when they are sick, there would be a lot less germs around and kids wouldn't be sick so often!

dementedpixie · 04/02/2020 18:10

You dont send a sick child to nursery

mbosnz · 04/02/2020 18:11

No, it would not be fair or wise to send him to Nursery. The poor little one is miserable, and clearly still ill.

Deelish75 · 04/02/2020 18:11

Don’t send a poorly child into nursery. And don’t let your child be the one to infect other children.
Hope he’s better soon.

Waveysnail · 04/02/2020 18:11

Why on earth would u send a sick child to nursery who's been sat on you knee cuddling all day.

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 04/02/2020 18:11

He still has a temperature.

But all he's done today and yesterday is sit down on my lap mostly, cuddling up with his blanket. Unheard of for him. So, clearly feeling rubbish fighting whatever he's caught.

Yes. You would be extremely unreasonable to send a clearly ill child to nursery.

TheVanguardSix · 04/02/2020 18:12

Keep him home until he's fever-free for 24 hours, 48-72 hours if he's been vomitting.

TheVanguardSix · 04/02/2020 18:12

It's kind of sad that you're asking, tbh.

MilkItTilITurnItIntoCheese · 04/02/2020 18:12

Speaking as both a parent and a child care provider please please don’t send him in. It is horrible for the child, the other children get sick as well and the whole place may have to close if all the staff get ill. Think of your child first and keep him at home where he belongs.

TFthatsover · 04/02/2020 18:12

Stay home with him OP, by tomorrow you might feel just as rubbish as your DC anyway. Please don't spread the germs! Hoping you all feel better soon.

Stressedout10 · 04/02/2020 18:14

Please ignore your dh and keep your poor dc home

AnnaMariaDreams · 04/02/2020 18:14

Of course he has tomorrow off, he is off until he’s better!
Nursery age children shouldn’t be in childcare when poorly, it isn’t fair.

wineandcheeseplease · 04/02/2020 18:14

Don't send him. I work in a nursery and we don't get paid sick pay and it's not fair on us!

mindutopia · 04/02/2020 18:16

If he no longer has a fever and he otherwise okay (just basically has a cold) by the morning, yes, I would send.

I keep mine home with a fever, but if the fever is gone, in they go. I work in an NHS setting and none of us stay home with dc who have a minor virus. Obviously, if the fever persists, that’s different but a lot can change in 12 hours.

ColaFreezePop · 04/02/2020 18:16

If you weren't feeling unwell yourself I would say regardless of income you and your OH both need to share your child's sick and other days off.

Anyone can be made redundant so regardless who is the lower earner you both need to try to keep both jobs.

PleaseStopRingingMe · 04/02/2020 18:17

Such a dick move to do so.

I have taken so much time off for my unwell child probably because of idiot parents still sending their kid in knowing they're unwell. Just think of the families of the other kids at nursery that you don't know the circumstances of and may be putting at risk...they may be immunosuppressed, have a newborn sibling/cousin, a pregnant mother/aunt etc.
Stick to your guns, and make your husband take the day off instead!

Original poster

meelamo · 04/02/2020 18:17

Yes, I thought as much. I don't want to send him. I think he needs to be at home resting and recovering. I also don't want him to spread whatever he's caught to the staff or other children. DH thinks we should send him though. Obviously, I'll do what I think is best as it'll be me staying at home with him anyway, not DH. It does make me feel incredibly guilty though about my job. This is only my 2nd month. Tomorrow will be day three of absence to look after DS and I feel like they're going to be even less understanding on day three. Although, I'm feeling worse and worse as the day goes on so definitely think I'm catching whatever DS has so I don't really want to be in work with it anyway but I believe most people there tend to go to work despite being ill.

OP posts:

Hauskat · 04/02/2020 18:20

Just echoing everyone else but definitely don’t send him to nursery! That would be sheer madness. Obviously I doesn’t make sense if you are feeling sick but if you were feeling well I would suggest your husband take his turn off work.

turquoisetoad · 04/02/2020 18:21

I know it's inconvenient to stay at home with a sick child but that's probably what you need to do. Even if the fever has gone he'll probably be feeling rubbish. I've worked in a nursery and I was shocked by how many parents sent their children in when they were obviously ill and needing to snuggle up at home. The staff were constantly poorly due to picking up infections and it's not fair on the other children either. This is the reality of having young children - they get ill a lot and their parents need to care for them. Nurseries aren't sick bays!!!!

Original poster

meelamo · 04/02/2020 18:22

DH still saying we should send him and I should go to work. 'The nursery can just phone you to pick him up if he's not well'

OP posts:

Horses4 · 04/02/2020 18:23

As the parent of an immunosuppressed child, please don’t even think of sending him in. One child’s mild virus is another’s hospitalisation, and you don’t know the circumstances of all the children in the nursery and/or their siblings.

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