AIBU to send him to Nursery with a Virus?

[meelamo]

I probably am BU. DS came down with a temperature on Sunday night, (between 38 and 39). Had a bit of a rash and seemed generally unwell. Kept him home Monday and today. He still has a temperature. He's usually very active and playful. Hates cuddles and sitting still. But all he's done today and yesterday is sit down on my lap mostly, cuddling up with his blanket. Unheard of for him. So, clearly feeling rubbish fighting whatever he's caught.

Have taken him to the GP. They think he's fighting some kind of viral illness and if he doesn't improve by Thursday to bring him back just in case.

So, wibu to send him to Nursery tomorrow? DH thinks we should. I don't. I also think I'm catching whatever DS has as I've felt generally unwell today. I only started my job at the beginning of January so feel bad having already taken two days off, tomorrow will be day three but it makes more sense for me to have the time off than DH because he also started a new job in January. It pays a lot more than my job. And if I am catching what DS has then obviously it makes sense for me to stay home with him rather than healthy DH. I don't think DS should be going when he's clearly poorly, needing rest and has a temperature higher than 38.

Wow. DH has annoyed me now. Both discussing it. DHs arguments are that, he himself finds he recovers quicker if he goes about, business as usual

He needs a kick up the hole !! Does he not realise everyone's immune system is different. I bet his work colleagues wonder why they get sick themselves , do they realise this is his attitude and he is most likely going into work spreading shit. God I hate people like this.

God what an absolute cunt your "d"h is.

Your child is ill. Clearly and obviously.

If it were me, I'd contact work and be upfront. I'd also offer to WFH or to take it as unpaid / annual leave etc. Or if you are actually ill then take sick leave yourself?

Your DH is extremely selfish. What if he passes it on to another person who has a weaker immune system and ends up in hospital from it? Your doing the right thing, keep him off till he’s clear of it.

Ask dh when he got his medical degree?
If a dr got a temp with your ds tell dh to go fuck himself and ds us not going anywhere
and seriously have a chat about childhood illnesses and parental responsibility and whether your dh is really as selfish and ignorant as he seems which would mske me question what other batshit ideas he has
And lay it out very plainly that your child has seen a qualified dr and is unwell and you are not exaggerating anything. Ask him who the hell he thinks he is making such ludicrous accusations?

He sounds hard work!

That’s unfair to both your poor DC, who should be resting at home,as well as everyone else who will be infected!!

Your idiot DH clearly knows nothing about children and lacks compassion for his own child

I work with children and am on my second infection requiring antibiotics of the year (one sinus and one throat) and my second bout of conjunctivitis.

People sending I'll kids has basically cost me the better part of £60 with prescriptions, drugs and over the counter medication.

*sending ill kids. Can hardly see to correct my autocorrect.

A bit of a fever is fine in our nursery, as in the season all kids have viruses and are ill, but if he is really unwell, they are likely to send him back home after a couple of hours. Happened to us once, baby seemed better in the morning, and then was many, poor and sleepy after a couple of hours and they rang to collect him.

Your H is indeed being very annoying but there’s a pretty simple way to settle it without having a fight.
Phone the nursery in the morning, describe the situation, and ask what they advise. And go with it.

YABVVVVVU and selfish to the boot. Speaking from experience when one of the mothers dropped her DC at the nurseryknowing they had vomiting bug. Child has infected several members of staff and the other kids.
DC1-3 days of puking
DC2 at baby stage-2 days
DH- 3 days of puking, 1 day to recover so 4 days lost wages.

All because one selfish bint “had to go to work” 😡😡😡

I'm a nursery nurse. And I absolutely despair at people who send child in unwell. I just can't understand it. The first thing we'd do with an obviously unwell child is take the temperature. We have children who can get seriously ill from catching things. I'm guessing you don't want to be ill? Guess what, we don't either! Why should we have to take time off work and lose money because we caught your child's illness, because you want to be at work?

Keep child at home, throw the DH out. Sorted.

A bit of an ‘I’m alright jack’ attitude from your DH - does he not think of the other children or the staff, let alone your child? If he’s being as out of character as you say then definitely keep your DC at home!

My DD has a low immune system and a viral infection could land her back in hospital on oxygen- I don’t wrap her in cotton wool but would expect other parents (meaning your DH here!) to be sensible and not send an obviously ill child into a room full of other children! YANBU in wanting to keep your DC home OP, your husband is being a dick on this one.

Ask your husband wow he'd like to be forced to go to work if he was feeling really ill?

What a cunt your husband is. I wouldn’t be letting someone so cruel, selfish and lacking in empathy anywhere near decisions for my child. The only manipulative person in this situation is him. I hope next time he’s sick (preferably with something that causes a lot of pain like a migraine) you boot him out of the house and tell him to ‘just get on with it’ and see how he likes it.

Why would you even consider sending him when he's clearly quite unwell? For his sake and that of the other babies who he'd undoubtedly pass it on to. It would be a "shall I risk it?" question if he was totally well in himself but still had a slightly lingering temperature. But this?? No. Just no.

I think the difference with your husband is that he is an adult and can assess just how ill he feels . Small children cannot do that , if you are able to stop off and look after your child , do it .They are only babies for such a short while , and nursery is a lot to cope with for a sick child .

I am immunocompromised due to cancer and chemotherapy. An infection is very dangerous for me. Your husband is a complete and utter asshole.

I work in a preschool and if we think a child has a temp we check with our thermometer and will send them home if it’s 38c. Also, your child will be just miserable- the noise and activity will be too much for him.

Your DH’s attitude is abhorrent. Is he normally so selfish? I’m sorry you’re having to put up with this shit from him.

Whatsername177‘s post says it all I think: a child’s health comes before work every time. What kind of fucked society thinks otherwise? Employers including mine need to learn this.

Talk to your work. Say you really were expecting & wanting to come in but think you're getting ill as well - it's contagious so you don't want to spread it & end up making other staff sick. Frame it so they know you care about your working environment & are making a decision that benefits them.
Where I used to work they'd get annoyed if you came in sick because that meant they'd probably get it too!

@Hotpinkangel19 I agree that OP shouldn't send her DC to nursery tomorrow but if I kept my LG off nursery everytime she was ill she would be off every other week! When I say ill I mean with a cold. I would never send her in with a temperature or a sickness bug but I do think it's near impossible not to send them in with a cold. Nurseries are full off colds and viruses because they are all so young and building their immune systems therefore she's always catching things. I do hope the girls at the nursery my LG goes to don't disrepair at me for sending her in with a cold.

Aww no keep him off, all he probably wants is his mum right now anyway whilst he's so off colour. My 2 yo has only just started nursery this January and has been off sick twice already (I fully expected him to pick stuff to begin with) i made sure it was 48 hours since the last loose nappy before he went back in. Just not fair on them or the other kids.

Well yes you could, but they’ll send him home again.

He’s not well, your DH is being unreasonable.