Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for a handhold? Heading for a mental breakdown depending on tomorrow

491 replies

WhyThisLife · 02/02/2020 16:01

Probably not the right section for this but with the traffic AIBU gets, here I am!

I'd like to ask for a handhold, some group support, a chat etc... As I prepare for my hospital appointment tomorrow.

I have been struggling with fertility issues for a while now and I am currently pregnant. Tomorrow is the scan where I find out if this is viable or not (I've had quite a few previously where I've been told they aren't and had to have D&C's or surgery etc...).

It's all taking its toll now and it's taking all my strength to go in that room willingly tomorrow and not being dragged kicking and screaming. I hate being there, I hate watching people coming out before me all happy and going over to the machine to pay for their scan photos, I hate the look on the nurses faces as soon as they can see on the screen and their 'im very sorry' voices when they tell me again, I hate being walked out and put in the 'quiet room' and seeing everyone's sympathetic faces in the waiting room because they know why.

I am seriously concerned about how I will be tomorrow if it's the same news. I am so so so fed up. I feel like I'm heading for some sort of breakdown but I can't bring myself to give up either.

I don't want to worry DH too much (although he does know how I'm feeling), so can I trouble you all for some support/conversation please? I feel so jittery and restless waiting for tomorrow.

OP posts:
BasilOfBakerStreet · 02/02/2020 20:18
Flowers
EmmaGrundyForPM · 02/02/2020 20:22

Thinking of you and wishing you luck for tomorrow OP xxx

Canshopwillshop · 02/02/2020 20:24

OP I’ve been there too (4 m/c and an ectopic) so I really empathise. I was lucky enough to find the reason and eventually went on to have 2 successful pregnancies. I am keeping everything crossed for you that this little one is a stayer.

Geneshish · 02/02/2020 20:24

Wishing you the very best OP. Sometimes life is unfair and shit and there is just no way around it.

The only thing I can think to suggest is some mindfulness or relaxation exercises to get you through the period of waiting for the scan. Download an app or something?

Bluetrews25 · 02/02/2020 20:29

And also thinking of Lucyabraham87 tonight and tomorrow.

ChanklyBore · 02/02/2020 20:31

I can sympathise so much OP. Wishing you all the best for tomorrow.

I’d strongly suggest having a plan as to what you are going to do for the rest of the day after the scan, in either case of good or bad news. Even if you do it on autopilot, it helps to have the day “planned” in advance, if you can. Helps you to feel in control whatever the news.

AFirst · 02/02/2020 20:34

Good luck for tomorrow OP 💐💐

kittlesticks · 02/02/2020 20:47

Wishing you loads of luck. I went through recurrent miscarriage and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Take care and I really hope this is it for you. You have been and are being incredibly brave.

Butiwantto · 02/02/2020 20:51

You got this OP Flowers

mommybear1 · 02/02/2020 20:56

Fingers, toes and boobs crossed for you OP. Handhold and positive vibes Thanks

CantKeepSecrets · 02/02/2020 21:06

I'm so sorry , life is so shit sometimes.

I've got everything crossed for you. Sending strength Thanks

SproutMuncher · 02/02/2020 21:10

Sending a handhold and best wishes for tomorrow Flowers

MummyOfBoyAndGirl · 02/02/2020 21:13

Sending you a HH and will be thinking of you tomorrow.

All I can suggest is telling your DH how you feel, it may help a little

TheBlessedCheesemaker · 02/02/2020 21:23

After 1 ectopic followed by 7 MCs - including 3 late ones - I am keeping everything crossed for you tomorrow. It is a horrible path to tread. My story ended very happily with multiple successful pregnancies (all it took was some luck and baby aspirin in the end), but I have friends who were not so lucky. You will be in my thoughts tomorrow x

Highfivemum · 02/02/2020 21:28

Keeping everything crossed for you. 🤞🤞

Stressheadme123 · 02/02/2020 21:28

Thinking of you tomorrow.good news is more in your favour than bad, with those percentages.
You are due some good luck.
Have faith x

Hotpinkangel19 · 02/02/2020 21:33

Will be thinking of you op x

Motherclucker01 · 02/02/2020 21:40

Good luck tomorrow OP. Flowers

ddraigygoch · 02/02/2020 21:45

My heart breaks for what you're going through. I am so so sorry. I really hope tomorrow is the start of the beginning of your happiness.

Sexnotgender · 02/02/2020 21:50

Hope you get good news tomorrow Flowers

WhyThisLife · 02/02/2020 21:56

Lucyabraham87 gosh our days seem so similar tomorrow, I'm sorry you'll be there too Flowers I hope you get even the tiniest comfort from knowing you won't be alone in your feelings, fears and thoughts about tomorrow X

Thank you so much everyone honestly it's so nice to know so many people are here. I'll certainly be back tomorrow whether that's to rejoice or rant at you all.

To the PP who said they were surprised they are leaving me to go through this. I have suggested time upon time could there be anything else alongside the translocation going on (one of my parents had it so they have had a few mc too but not as many as me and all at varying stages up to 12 weeks) because mine all seem to be happening at the same time but they just seem to fob me off now they have the diagnosis of the translocation. They gave me the progesterone as they thought me losing them all at 6ish weeks could be down to my womb lining being too think but they've not actually tested or checked this despite me asking.

OP posts:
WhyThisLife · 02/02/2020 21:56

Too thin*

OP posts:
tenlittlecygnets · 02/02/2020 22:07

Eight losses? Op, my heart goes out to you. Keeping everything crossed for you and wishing you all the best for tomorrow. Big hugs.

NunyaBizness · 02/02/2020 22:16

www.ryanhart.org/st-jude-prayer/

I know you said you pray to God, but don't believe in him, but I thought you might like this prayer.

Prayer to Saint Jude Thaddeus
O most holy apostle, Saint Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the Church honoureth and invoketh thee universally, as the patron of hopeless cases, and of things almost despaired of.

Pray for me, who am so miserable. Make use, I implore thee, of that particular privilege accorded to thee, to bring visible and speedy help where help was almost despaired of.

Come to mine assistance in this great need, that I may receive the consolation and succor of Heaven in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings, particularly...

(insert your prayer request here)

...and that I may praise God with thee and all the elect throughout eternity.

I promise thee, O blessed Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favour, to always honour thee as my special and powerful patron, and to gratefully encourage devotion to thee.

Amen.

The St. Jude Thaddeus prayer can be used to ask for assistance when you are in desperate need of help. Many people turn to Saint Jude for help when they have tried to solve a problem on their own but have failed.

Also, all going well tomorrow, in the link I've shared, there's a novena to St. Jude also (novenas are usually prayed for 9 consecutive days or 9 consecutive hours).

I prayed to St. Jude during my pregnancy, though the odds were stacked against me. I almost lost her at the end, but I firmly believe in this Saint. If dd had been a boy, I would have named him Jude.

Best of luck.

Elmo311 · 02/02/2020 22:33

Thinking of you for tomorrow. Hope all is ok x