To expect to pay childminder minimum wage

[SMarie123]

Hello all,

I have had a very heated debate with a colleague and I would like to get an impartial view.

We do the same job in the same company, she looks after Asian clients and I USA. There is one day a week everyone in the department does 9-5. We don't need too much childcare given that DH's both do 9-5. , I have a lovely childminder who I pay a bit above average because she is amazing and flexible and loving. My colleague uses family, which I understand comes with its own challenges.

In the past she has used my childminder to plug some childcare gaps, which is fine for all parties. She does complain that I pay too much but she gets in with it. Anyway her mum is going in for an operation and she wants my childminder to take her Dd with my 3 DC (one is in school but I still pay a levy because the childminder will always pick her up if she is sick and doesn't charge more for holidays)

I said we would have to talk about logistics and pay before we spoke to the childminder. she said ok but I knew it wasn't going to go well .... it transpires she doesn't want to pay more for the childminder taking on 25% more children. She wants to split the hourly rate I pay and pay 25% if that, is that not outrageous? I made the point that in a work capacity you wouldn't opt to take more projects for the same money if you had a choice.

What do people think? I think it is too complicated already so I have to get out of it.

Firstly, is your nanny happy to take on a fourth child, and are your children happy for friend’s dc to join them more on a regular basis.

Secondly, the friend is being cheeky expecting to subsidise your rate. Extra child means extra rates. Ie. If you pay £5 per child, (=£15), then she pays £5 also (=£20), not each pay £4(=16).

"The situation won't work. Please find your own childcare"
Repeat until she does so, she is bring ridiculous and trying to save a bit of money on your dime. CF!

Slightly left of field, if you let your nanny/ someone you employ look after other people's children in your house- what is your liability insurance situation? Child severely injures themselves- paralysed... your liability?

By letting someone run a business, effectively, in your premises changes things

Say no

It's the nanny that takes on the extra work, So it's up to her a) whether she even wants to take on this extra child and b) how much she wants to charge to do so. The fact that she cares for the children in your home is fairly immaterial to this arrangement with your colleague.

She's taking the p out of both of you.

Cheeky bugger. If she wants the service she has to pay, otherwise, the Nanny may say no. She may well anyway.

Op you might want to report your post to MNHQ and ask them to amend the title.

I can see why someone might think a nanny could be used in this way if they hadn’t had one before and thought of childcare as some kind of holding service rather than something that needed particular attributes and effort.

Personally I wouldn’t want to share a nanny with someone who thought of them that way - even if we could come to an agreement about money I was happy with. With that sort of attitude she’s going to try to take advantage of the nanny and that could impact on your relationship with her.

Ideally I would probably just say I wasn’t prepared to treat the nanny like that as I relied on her so best if colleague looks for other options.

If you are struggling financially you may feel you have to take the risk. In which case talk to your nanny and ask if she’d be willing to take on another child and what extra compensation she’d expect. Then work out what your colleague should pay as a quarter of the total amount - not forgetting to factor in an appropriate amount for holiday and sick pay and the other costs you cover and, potentially wear and tear on your house. But come down hard the minute your colleague tries to take advantage - late pay, extra time without warning, etc.

Your colleague is a cheeky sod- as others have said, the rate is per child and if your colleague doesn’t like what rate the nanny sets she can find her own nanny. Don’t let her try and half or split any differences in prices with you either- the extra paid to the nanny is for the extra “work” the child gives her and that is not for you to subsidise.

You sound like a lovely, considerate, thoughtful and kind person.

I honestly wouldn’t compromise a wonderful longstanding relationship that you already have with your neighbour, family friend and childminder/nanny.

My loyalty would be totally with my childminder, and to preserve that relationship at any cost.

I would have absolutely no loyalty to a work colleague, someone who wants to alter the goalposts on your pitch, who could upset your own arrangements. Someone who wants to not only “use” your facilities, but renegotiate the terms as well!

You could ask your neighbour for her own honest off the record thoughts on the situation - she may be wary of telling you what she really thinks, she may feel under pressure to comply...

The work colleague really brings nothing to benefit you, but a real danger of causing lasting problems with your own relationship with your neighbour and childcare arrangements.

Tell her to find her own childcare.
Its not gojng to end well.
She us a cf and will no doubt complain constantly about paying properly and maybe 'forgot' to pay some weeks which puts you in a bad light.
I wouldnt let her near someone i had been friends with for years it could end up with huge fallout all round.

Have a word with your neighbour about it and i would advise her against doing it tbh. Once a cf always a cf she will find ways of taking the p out of your neighbours good nature.

I would not entertain this at all.

Actually if the childcare is to take place in your home then you do have a say in whether it is agreeable or not, as well as your nanny.

I would steer well clear of this - no fucking way. Just tell this woman you don't want any additional children with your nanny in your home at the moment and you hope she finds suitable childcare.

It's not your responsibility to organise this OP.

I'm a nanny that does the same sort of hours and flexibility. I get 15.00 a hour for two children. For a short while I looked after another child. A cousin of my normal charges. Her mother paid me 15.00 per hour. That was my hourly rate. Whether it was one child or six. That was my rate.

Btw to all the people who are saying about taking it out of the nanny's hands. My colleague has the nanny's number, she has used her before.

Given that on that day she is talking about we will both be in the office I think it was ok to meet her about logistics? I also was surprised she was saying it would be 1/2 weeks because I know that is not true. I am not sure her mother will be able to take her child again.

I think they is legitimate? I think you are right though I shouldn't have spoken about money. I just know the nanny wouldn't like putting a price on anything, she would have prob said if it is only for a few weeks I will take the child for free!

Damm it stupid phone posted too soon.
Its also your house not a childcare setting. You can just say you dont want another child added to the mix.

Tell your nanny you don't want her taking on additional children whilst she has your DC or in your home.

I agree with PP - you will end up really regretting it if you go ahead with any kind of arrangement with this CF.

Re your update.

You know it won't be just a couple of weeks do not let your friend be taken advantage of.

But fact is she cannot agree to take another child into your home on a regular basis without your agreement. Just say no.

I hope no childminder takes her kids. She wants to rip off the person she leaves her child with!!

paying minimum wage for one child is approaching nanny rates. I'd expect way more 1:1 attention than I'd expect from a childminder for that.

normal childminder rates are about half of minimum wage per child and a childminder has at least 3 mindees and thus earns 50% above minimum wage (well a little less given expenses) which is a very decent income.

obviously with more mindees the fees are due per child.

I think you're going to have to use insurance as the way out here. Because you need away out that you're not blamed on as you have to work with CF and can't have nanny taking another kid in your home. What happens if CFkid injures herself, or draws on your couch with ballpoint pen, for example?

What about the dynamics between the kids for an extended period - your kids having another kid there playing with their things, and CFkid being in your kids', home, not a neutral place like a childminder's would be. And how will nanny divide time between supervising them, and what happens when CF wants different food given (or whatever)?

Getting out of this will be tricky, but dealing with it actually going ahead will be a never ending nightmare.

Talk to your nanny about this. Explain that it's unlikely to be a 1/2 week arrangement, and that if she wants to take this child on, she should ensure that she charges a proper amount. Also make it clear that doing it for nothing isn't an option as that would mean that your colleague would be taking advantage of you as well as her.

£18 per hour or per 3 hours?
If for 3 hours, that is very low.
If per hour, that is very high.

Your colleague is being a cf but at the same time, there is no way i would pay £18 an hour for childcare.... If that is the case

Do people think it is bad that I brought up money? I just know the nanny does not like talking about money and I thought it made sense to go to her with a proposition .... ie will you take my colleagues child I was thinking x amount per hour. It isn't like the 2 people don't know each other, they do and they get on ok.

My other rationale was to point out that we didn't want the exact same hours as my colleague, so potentially we need to think about how we average the rate.

I used to be a similar nanny 'neighbour' I collected my friends Dc from school. Looked after then until she came home work work.
In this Situation, taking on another Dc then i would charge as per child.
But agree it’s between your friend and the nanny. It’s not your job to set it up.
It’s between your colleague and the nanny

NO! It's good because your colleague a CFer. Now she's made it clear she's trying to take the p out of you, too, it's best to keep it all separate. Just say this doesn't work for me, you need to make your own arrangements.