His sexting leaves me cold?

[ExtraFox18]

So much water under the bridge. Children with special needs, lots of hurt and upset and ongoing distress for me at seeing my children suffer our separation and yet if I show any signs of this sadness I get:

How’s your 🍑?
Wanna cum?
I’m so hard.

This just leaves me dead eyed. I need so much more. Is this a turn on for most 40 + women? Am I just a boring prude or is hoping for something more loving,’less mechanical just stupidity. He’s heading for 50.

The person you're divorcing isn't the right person to support you through that. Also, you're very passive about the whole thing - waiting to see if he wants to get back together if he'll proceed with divorcing you. Your boundaries are very blurred, to the extent you are operating entirely within his framework and have lost sight of your own.

Have a think about what you want, entirely from your own perspective. If you do decide to proceed with a divorce, (and I hope you do, he sounds bloody horrible) couldn't you do it through a mediator?

None of this is about sex, it's all about power.

You have power here - only interact with him about the children, push on with the divorce, get some support for you.

It is highly inappropriate and sleazy for him to send you these texts when you are divorcing.

Well sone for texting him that and putting some boundaries in place.

His response tells you all you need to know.

Chase your lawyer. Get him gone.

Build o. That boundary and stop accepting shorty behaviour from him. Call him out on it every single time.

Ffs spell check. Build on the boundary you’ve placed in texting him. Stop accepting shitty behaviour.

Don't use your children as an excuse not to divorce this man. There are many special needs kids who are much happier with Mum and without a prick of a father .

That big long message you sent just sounded like "please, please tell me you love me and this was all a mistake". I'm not mocking you, simply observing that he will have read that message and realised how much power he has over you to keep hurting and controlling you.

There is a world of difference between "if we are divorcing..." and "since we are divorcing... ".

It's painful and difficult but taking control instead of handing it all to him is a way to reduce the pain and feel stronger. Some of your pain is coming from feeling helpless and out of control. You can change that if you want to.

You deserve better even if you find that difficult to accept right now.

Block him after telling him to communicate with you via your solicitor. He doesn't need to contact you directly unless there's an emergency and he can withhold his number and call you in that situation. This is what I had to do with my abusive ex H.

You do sound like you desperately want him to say he loves you and that he'll do x y and z and then you'll jump back with him. He's got you on a string and knows it. Cut the string and block him.

I don't know the other stuff your going through but even that set aside, there is nothing more unattractive than smut. It's a huge turn off.
My husband can be guilty of it, I just don't react to it, he means no harm but it does come across as crass.