To think this is shallow

[damaged888]

Newly dating... been on a few dates, he seems keen, going well, been talking for a while.
He asked me what sort of clothes I like to wear.. and do I wear skirts.

So he's met me a few times so he has seen what I wear... is this a hint he likes skirts?! I dunno why but I found this a turn off. Maybe I'm being too sensitive, probably am as my relationship before this a few years ago was an abusive one. I just feel like it means he likes a certain type of look!!

I didn't like it anyway so haven't replied. Am I being over sensitive? Be honest I want honest opinions.

He's got control issues. When was he born 1888?

I replied just saying why do you ask, and he said "just wondering"

I didn't think it was weird or controlling. DP likes it when I wear dresses and skirts as he thinks I look nice. This is my style anyway although I do wear jeans too, especially in the winter. Pretty sure I remember him asking too and I didn't think anything of it.

He's never demanded I wear dresses. If I asked for his opinion on what to wear he would choose a dress.

Ask him if he ever wears a tie.

Please ask him if he ever wears skirts! He sounds like a right weirdo, sorry.

That would give me the ick. It sounds fetishy.

Test him. Reply no, you don't wear skirts and that you usually wear jeans.
He'll either then progress to push you on will you wear one or that he'd like you too. In which case you know it's a red flag.
Or maybe he's just genuinely interested ( fairly unlikely) or thinks you have great legs, it doesn't have to be seedy, men are allowed to find women attractive. Especially one they are dating.
If he lets it's go and you end up dating, wearing a skirt in future will then be fine.

Trust your gut: he's a sleaze.

When I was in the OLD game I got a lot of this and its always a preamble for sexting or a request for photos or just setting you up to basically service their peccadillos. One thing when you're an established couple but if its right at the start they're basically telling you you're a vessel for their fantasies. Bin him.

It sounds as if you are not making an effort and look too casual in jeans. Nothing to do with sexual perversion. Maybe he grew up in a family of women, or has female friends that make an effort in their appearance.

@MustangsDraggedMeAway

It sounds as if you are not making an effort and look too casual in jeans. Nothing to do with sexual perversion. Maybe he grew up in a family of women, or has female friends that make an effort in their appearance.

Kick him to the kerb.

You are well rid!

@MustangsDraggedMeAway

It sounds as if you are not making an effort and look too casual in jeans. Nothing to do with sexual perversion. Maybe he grew up in a family of women, or has female friends that make an effort in their appearance.

Wow. If that's the case I'll just keep to my jeans thanks. I make plenty of effort with my appearance. That comments just made me feel even more insecure.

Many men prefer women in skirts/dresses. It's just how it is. I had a male friend who was doing OLD and if anyone turned up in jeans he wouldn't see them again. He wasn't being pervy, he just liked a certain look. He also (wrongly in my opinion) judged the woman on how much "effort" she made with her looks for the date, and to him that included the effort of wearing a dress or skirt and heels.

Me personally, I find it all a bit outdated and somewhat misogynistic. I used to wear skirts/dresses, now I don't. I'm the same person underneath the clothes! But I cannot be assed with the faff of dresses/shapewear (necessary if I wear a dress!) heels and all that anymore. If someone doesn't like me in jeans, fine, I don't care!

Yeah I get that @Meruem, I do wear skirts, but not normally In winter!! Definitely not dresses that's not my thing. I normally wear heels though, do my hair and make up nice I definitely make an effort. I'm starting to think it's not good enough.

Thank you for the comments, I'm not going to change who I am or what I wear, it's just me and I spent far long in a marriage where I was constantly criticised, I can't do that again. I'm going to cool it off before I get hurt I think.

Eeeeeeer.Creep

Ask him if hes into wearing kilts

Thank you for the comments, I'm not going to change who I am or what I wear, it's just me and I spent far long in a marriage where I was constantly criticised, I can't do that again.

Good for you. It's a weird question for him to ask, I'd be very wary of a guy trying to influence how you dress after only a few dates especially

Just ask him why he asked?

@Notverycreatiive I did. He said he was just wondering.

If you like him and he's just asked the once, then I wouldn't necessarily bin him just yet. Different if he goes on about it or says anything else that makes you uncomfortable. But, if everything had been going well up to this one point, it seems a bit drastic to end things. For example, if I met a guy who always wore t-shirts I might ask "do you ever wear shirts?" just because I like them. But it doesn't mean I'm a perv or that I'd be controlling! If he said "no I'm not keen on them" I'd just shrug and move on. Nothing more to it.

Ask him if he likes skirts. Let's see what he says.

This could turn into a fun stealth texting.

I bet he’s one of those who watches “underskirt” porn. 🤮

Sorry damaged I saw you already answered to that question after I posted it.

Keep on at him.. just wondering isn't an appropriate answer.. Why was he just wondering? There literally has to be a reason behind it.