To circulate details of bullying acts before I leave the WhatsApp group?

[Justsmileandnod]

DD has been bullied relentlessly by two girls for months (junior school). The school has dealt with it appallingly and made it worse. One of the mums is a "much loved" head of PTA, both mums have been told but just made the girls worse. The focus of all the fuss has been on DD as the victim rather than dealing with the girls as the bullies and they seem largely to be escaping public scrutiny.

We have taken DD out of school, waiting for a new school place to come up now. I know I should just rise above it all and concentrate on DD now but I'm so angry about it all. I have a complete list of all the physical and emotional acts of bullying that the girls have carried out over the months. WIBU to circulate that list on the class WhatsApp group before leaving the group?

Well if you’re never going back there I would.

I’d probably say something like

As you know DD is leaving due to the bullying from x and y

Look out for yours as the may well be looking for a new victim now

Here’s what they have subjected DD to over the last xxxx

Don’t expect any help from the school, since involving them it got worse.

You know you would be.

Do it! Just lay everything out in a factual way, including the fact the mothers were told but failed to act.

I would if it won't affect DD in the future. If she's likely to go to the same secondary school as the bullies, I probably wouldn't.

I’d keep your powder dry

I bloody would. Parents rarely believe their little darlings can be cruel. On the few occasions in life I have been properly wronged looking back I wish I had kicked up more of a fuss at the time rather than being the “bigger person”. Only do it if you ok about those bridges being absolutely torched though op.

I was going to say YABU but she's moving school. Will she possibly be at High School with them?

They should be held to account but you should only do this if it won't adversely affect your DD

I can see why it would be tempting, but I wouldn’t.

It may be a better use of your time to write a strongly worded letter to the headteacher and governors cataloguing their failure to protect your daughter, and the ongoing bullying issue they clearly have at their school.

Yes she might be at secondary with them. And it's a small village.

I wouldn't do that, I don't think any good will come of it. It could get out and affect DD in the future as well which would be my main concern. You have nothing to gain by doing it.

Be aware of the libel laws.

I wouldn't do it. I understand why you want to though

Absolutely not. Focus on supporting your dd and helping her to get over it. So sorry you've been through this.

Yes you're all right. It wouldn't be the right thing to do. I'm just so angry for DD. She feels humiliated about it all and she's done nothing wrong. She's missing out on so much that she was looking forward to at school. All because of these girls.

Im sure you want to, but this could open a HUGE can of worms and you could find yourself at the centre of backlash from the school/parents.

I like what the other PP has said about writing a letter to the governors/head about it, still citing the detail and what the school did (or didnt do).

You could possibly say something about your daughter leaving due to bullying and mention that neither the school nor the parents involved have done anything to stop it.
I wouldn't name names or describe incidents though. I'd be worried you could potentially land in hot water.

Don't do it in a small village, with them all one day going to the same high school. Write the nastiest letter you can, then burn it.

Write what @Singlebutmarried said.

It’s a lesson in life sadly, so people are spiteful little shits. With bigger shits to back them up. Don’t send the message, you won’t gain anything but sniggering venoms your back. I would not give them the satisfaction. The best result you have already achieved, moving schools.

No I wouldn't, but I can understand why you would want to. Personally I would be writing to the Chair of Governors as it sounds like they have failed your daughter

Singlebutmarried I like your message and if I were to send one that's what I would send. But I won't. I'll write it and burn it as Rebel advises.

Yes the school has failed her but the Governors have a terrible track record in this respect and I'm not sure I have the energy to carry on that fight.

I would message the parents of the two girls. And I would let fucking rip!

"As you know DD is moving school. For the avoidance of any doubt, this is entirely down to the bullying carried out by your daughters over a period of XXX months/years. As you are probably aware, our attempts to resolve this through channels at school failed at best, and escalated the situation at worst. And we now feel we have no choice but to move her.

Also for the avoidance of doubt, our daughter is devastated and traumatised by this turn of events.

You can - and will, I have no doubt, minimise/dismiss/eye roll and mention 'dramatics' / girls arguing etc as much as you like, but be in no doubt that your daughters are bullies, are spiteful and in your shoes, I would be watching them like a hawk. They have pushed my daughter to the point of moving schools - that's bad, but as we all know, bullying can have catastrophic effects. We have all got off lightly. This time. Let's hope a lesson is learned from this."

I wouldnt do it

sorry for dodgy punctuation. No glasses!!!

I have a complete list of all the physical and emotional acts of bullying that the girls have carried out over the months. WIBU to circulate that list on the class WhatsApp group before leaving the group?

Well you'd better have witnesses for every single incident on the list, or you may find yourself the subject of a police complaint.

And if the other mums are 'much loved' as you put it, you run the risk of looking like you have a vendetta against these junior school children.

So I'd think very carefully if I were you.