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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Small house no commute vs bigger house and commute

111 replies

MapMySleighRide · 29/01/2020 19:57

We are looking to buy our first home and have, hopefully, a few options open to us. Either a new build but small mid terraced house right in the centre of our town (it is on an estate and noise isnt an issue), this would mean I would have a barely 5 min commute twice per day and dh about 20-30 min commute each way. The garden is small but our dc aren't hugely sporty or outdoorsy and while I like the idea of country idyll (vegetable patch, chickens etc) I'm not sure I'd ever actually get round to doing it! It is also A rated so lower elec bills and warm, the mortgage would be higher tho as it is expensive.

Or we could go further afield, add a good 20-30 mins to our commute each, so about 30 mins for me each way but 1 hour for dh each way. We could get a bigger house, as in a semi with hopefully a slightly bigger garden, but it would be an older house that would need doing up cosmetically, possibly cold and draughty as a lot of our rentals have been, but I could one day have chickens and get off my arse and grow stuff!

Our dc are 15 and 10 if it makes a difference

AIBU to ask for your advice please on what you would go for? Sorry I've posted here for traffic. I think the only thing putting me off the new build is that it is smaller than I remembered it being in my head, but also it is our first house so I am worried about making the wrong decision as we'll be stuck with it for donkeys years and after almost 20 years renting I am a bit nervous of being stuck somewhere we're not sure on...help!!

OP posts:
YeOldeTrout · 29/01/2020 20:00

Short commute. No hesitation.

eeyore228 · 29/01/2020 20:01

I'd look at how much each option would set you back first. If we moved it would save £200 a month housing but cost us an extra £300 to commute. It also depends on whether you could cope with travel and a slightly longer day for the foreseeable future.

Mixitupalot · 29/01/2020 20:02

New build short commute, no brainier. I suppose it really depends on the outgoings but I think you can’t beat a newer house especially if you’ve been living in doer uppers

Waterandlemonjuice · 29/01/2020 20:04

Your children will be at home for ages yet and presumably you’re expecting to work for ages yet so I’d get the biggest you can afford now. As long as you can afford it. An hour each way is a bit much though, can you get something in the middle?

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 29/01/2020 20:06

Would DC stay at same school regardless?

No commute would win for me. We're a bit out of town and I soooo miss being able to walk everywhere. I'd love to have no real commute for work. Time is more precious than space I think.

Didiusfalco · 29/01/2020 20:09

I think I would look at real life options, so I would go and view some houses to see if there was anything I loved enough that would make the commute worth it.

Mamato2gorgeousboys · 29/01/2020 20:09

I would say short commute and stay in town. Would dc prefer being close to town as it would enable them both to socialise without depending on you for lifts?

bridgetreilly · 29/01/2020 20:10

Smaller house.

In 5 years, you'll only have one child at home and in 10 years, it'll only be the two of you. The commute, however, would always be with you.

ActualHornist · 29/01/2020 20:10

Shorter commute for me. Hands down.

RandomMess · 29/01/2020 20:11

Short commute and stay in town else you will spend a lot of your evenings doing long taxi duties...

Original poster
MapMySleighRide · 29/01/2020 20:14

Thanks all so far. I've been thinking the same as the majority here about new build and no commute, it was only seeing it today that made me wonder. If it were just a small bit bigger I dont think I'd be questioning it at all, and I wonder hoe much of this is getting cold feet over the commitment rather than the house - ridiculous, I know!

We cant do the in between option unfortunately as theyre too expensive to get the semi in the next town.

Yes the dc would stay in the same schools, which currently wouldnt be an issue as my commute would coincide with start and finish times no matter where we move to

OP posts:
Original poster
MapMySleighRide · 29/01/2020 20:15

Overall the kids would rather be in town but they would also like to be in a semi Hmm not doable for us at all.

OP posts:
HeronLanyon · 29/01/2020 20:15

Just from the way you described it I’d say you want the central short commute.
I would want the central short commute no question as long as the house is ‘big enough’ for you all.

RandomMess · 29/01/2020 20:18

Have a serious serious declutter and buy furniture that suits the new house.

Shed for the teenager in the garden 😂

MsPepperPotts · 29/01/2020 20:19

I would go for smaller new house central location...
Ready to move into no work to be done, low maintenance
Smaller bills
Easy commute
DCs will be able to get into town easier when they want
Your eldest DC is only a few years off uni

RedDiamond · 29/01/2020 20:19

Your 15 year old (next they will be 16 year old) would love you to be living in a town. So much more going on for them.

Also, I love just under 2 miles from where I work. I LOVE it. No long commute, no traffic jams, lower petrol costs. What is not to love?

Original poster
MapMySleighRide · 29/01/2020 20:19

Thanks @HeronLanyon, we would need clever storage and to not hold on to things we dont need but yes it is big enough. We have been spoilt with the size of some of our rentals, so it's not what we're used to but I could walk my commute and the kids to school easily

OP posts:
RebelWithVerySharpClaws · 29/01/2020 20:38

If you can fit in an outbuilding in the garden, the kid could go out there to entertain their friends.

Original poster
MapMySleighRide · 30/01/2020 07:31

Thanks everyone! I love the idea of putting the teenager out in the garden, if we get the chance we might just do that!!
@Didiusfalco I havent viewed any other options in real life but going by the pictures online none of them are beautiful or characterful enough to sway me so far.
@WhatWouldTheDoctorDo I love that sentiment about time being more precious than space, completely agree

OP posts:
badg3r · 30/01/2020 07:43

We chose a flat in town instead of a house further out. DP has a five minute walk to work. I am 15 minutes in bike. Kids school/nursery ten minutes walk. After commutes of over an hour on busy trains, it is so much less stress to have pretty much zero commute!

Also in terms of kids friends, is there a risk you will end up ferrying them back and forth if you move further out? Whereas presumably if you live in town they can make their own way round when old enough.

TeenPlusTwenties · 30/01/2020 07:44

Central house, short commute.
An hour for your DH each way is a waste of time.
The kids will be able to be more independent.

Dozer · 30/01/2020 07:46

No commute, definitely. We did the other option and in retrospect I would’ve made a different decision (DH disagrees, he loves gardening and the physical space).

Presumably your DC will be getting around independently v soon so town much better for that too.

EvaHarknessRose · 30/01/2020 07:48

Central will give teens more opportunities

Thewheelsarefallingoff · 30/01/2020 07:49

Are you doing help to buy, op? If you're not, you might be able to get a semi detached on the estate with a short commute. Me and DH have done H2B twice on new builds. You would not be eligible if either of you have an interest in any other property, but other than that, you should be able to do it on a new build.

randomchap · 30/01/2020 07:50

Just echoing everyone else. The small commute is the best option. I used to drive an hour each way to work, now I just walk 10 minutes. My energy levels are much higher, and I have more time with my family.

you only have a limited amount of time, don't waste it commuting.