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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Small house no commute vs bigger house and commute

111 replies

MapMySleighRide · 29/01/2020 19:57

We are looking to buy our first home and have, hopefully, a few options open to us. Either a new build but small mid terraced house right in the centre of our town (it is on an estate and noise isnt an issue), this would mean I would have a barely 5 min commute twice per day and dh about 20-30 min commute each way. The garden is small but our dc aren't hugely sporty or outdoorsy and while I like the idea of country idyll (vegetable patch, chickens etc) I'm not sure I'd ever actually get round to doing it! It is also A rated so lower elec bills and warm, the mortgage would be higher tho as it is expensive.

Or we could go further afield, add a good 20-30 mins to our commute each, so about 30 mins for me each way but 1 hour for dh each way. We could get a bigger house, as in a semi with hopefully a slightly bigger garden, but it would be an older house that would need doing up cosmetically, possibly cold and draughty as a lot of our rentals have been, but I could one day have chickens and get off my arse and grow stuff!

Our dc are 15 and 10 if it makes a difference

AIBU to ask for your advice please on what you would go for? Sorry I've posted here for traffic. I think the only thing putting me off the new build is that it is smaller than I remembered it being in my head, but also it is our first house so I am worried about making the wrong decision as we'll be stuck with it for donkeys years and after almost 20 years renting I am a bit nervous of being stuck somewhere we're not sure on...help!!

OP posts:
myusernamewastakenbyme · 30/01/2020 11:07

Smaller house....your kids are getting to the age where they wont be bothered about playing in the garden....I have the rural semi with a large garden....i hate it....its constant work and i wish id gone for a newer build with small garden

Mummyshark2018 · 30/01/2020 11:16

Small house, short commute.

Like pp said you should work out the cost of living out of town in terms of petrol/ wear and tear on car and your own time.

My dh and I lived 20miles out of the city and both worked different shifts so travelled separately. On average in peak traffic was an hour journey each way. We sold our house, increased mortgage by 65k and bought an equal sized house in city. Got rid of 1 car. The money we saved on petrol (£300 per month) meant that we were actually better off. We also got a few quid for the car!

HappyDinosaur · 30/01/2020 11:20

Personally I'd go bigger house with a commute, especially as it's not like it's a particularly long one. I would hate to live right near to where I work and I think your home is a place to escape to so a bit more space is ideal.

HappyDinosaur · 30/01/2020 11:23

Also, I meant to say that I've never come across a newbuild where the attic couldn't be used for storage!!

MrsStrangerThing · 30/01/2020 11:24

I am struggling to understand how there isn't a middle ground here. Where I live, new builds are much more expensive than older houses. Are there really no older houses for sale in the town centre that are better value than the new build?

I personally couldn't live in a terraced house. A commute might take up an hour or two a day but you will be in the house for many more hours than that. Can you look into negotiating some time working from home or adjust your hours slightly to avoid peak rush hour? Or would there be job opportunities outside of the town?

Our options were lovely but pokey new build or older but much bigger home, we went for the bigger home. The children all have their own rooms, they have space in their rooms to have friends over, there's space so we can all spread out and do our own thing in the evening if we wish. We have a large garden, which our teens use a lot.

Obviously everyone's priorities are different, only you can make this decision. But personally I wouldn't go for either of this and would look for a plan c.

Rainbunny · 30/01/2020 11:29

My family moved from a large town to a rural area when I was a child and as an adult you'll never pry me away from city living! I completely understand the urge to have space and a bigger house at a much cheaper price than a wildly expensive tiny city house but for me a quality daily life experience comes from being close to amenities, gyms, restaurants, food shopping etc. within tube/walking/short bike ride distance.

Depending on how long you are wanting to stay in the same home I would consider what amenities are available for your DC. There will be a time when you'll be giving lots and lots of lifts to your DC if you live more rurally. You may be okay with that, my parents were not - hence my aversion to rural living now.

I went from being an active kid who played tennis, was in a swimming club and had music lessons to absolutely zero activities because my parents quickly got fed up with having to drive me and my siblings everywhere once we moved. Obviously my particular experience has coloured my views but it is something to consider.

BlueJava · 30/01/2020 11:43

Check you all fit in the smaller house, check the finances. If you do fit and the finance is ok then definitely go for the smaller commute. Saves you both time everyday!

ivykaty44 · 30/01/2020 11:47

Time you can’t buy

TiddleTaddleTat · 30/01/2020 12:40

Personally I would go for bigger house that you could stay in long term.
You will pay a huge premium for a new build
But it seems the easier option
Any chance of change of job in the foreseeable future that could influence commute ?
Where do your children's friends live?
And what are the travel connections like for either?

Ideal would be a non new build in the town with a decent garden

BigChocFrenzy · 30/01/2020 12:57

Shorter commute
and less of a taxi service for the teens

It's like working fewer hours for the same money
The DC will have more time too

managedmis · 30/01/2020 12:58

Short commute

PutBabyInTheCorner · 30/01/2020 13:19

Didn't realise that was seen as a long commute!
I commute for an hour each way. Husband's commute is an hour and a half sometimes 2 hours.
For me it's manageable and I'm used to it. I would go for the bigger house if a commute of that distance is what's holding you back.

Urkiddingright · 30/01/2020 13:21

We went with the bigger house and longer commute but we have four DC so needed the five bedroom detached home really! In your case, I’d choose the smaller house purely because the bigger one needs lots of work doing to it so seems like a no brainer to me.

Waveysnail · 30/01/2020 13:22

Short commute. Look at extending into loft or adding extension

Original poster
MapMySleighRide · 30/01/2020 13:33

Wow, lots of replies today!

No worries about air quality, its possibly better in the town. It's a small town and on the coast, where as moving further out means going inland. I prefer this town to anywhere else in the area too.
I know our commutes arent long at all, we had much further to go when we lived in the uk so we know we're very lucky.
The town with the new build has good, but not amazing transport links, moving further out they are virtually non existent on a regular basis so car is the only option really for us both.

I have actually already started looking into an allotment, so yes I think that would be feasible too.

The house isn't too small, but it is smaller than we are used to. Everyone has their own room with wardrobe, chest of drawers and bookshelf, toy chest also for youngest dc. Both dc could do with a big clear out tbh which would help.

OP posts:
MinesaPinot · 30/01/2020 13:38

New build, short commute hands down. We went for the other option, and whilst I like our village and have made good friends here, the difficulties of commuting and the cost make me wish that we'd explored other options.

Runnerduck34 · 30/01/2020 13:45

What do the rest of your family think? Ime teenagers like being in the centre of town and if you move out of town you may end up being a taxi service.
Think about your travel costs as well as mortgage costs. How much work needs doing, could you afford it or live with it if not.
30 min commute is ok, an hour each way can be tiring depending on home commitments.
Is the house in town realistically too small or is big enough for your needs? I'd make a list of pros and cons but ultimately go with my heart !

Original poster
MapMySleighRide · 30/01/2020 13:51

Sorry I should have stated we are not in the UK, a small mid terrace to us is not as small as a small uk mid terrace is. The new build is more expensive but we get help with the deposit for a new build. We have lived here for all our dcs lives, all friends and schools are here. It is a very small town, possibly considered a village in uk tbh and right on the sea front

The only good thing about moving out would be a little more space really....I think I have made my mind up!

OP posts:
SmellMySmellbow · 30/01/2020 15:28

Oh no brainer then, with kids. Short commute, friends and beach on the doorstep, you can allow them their independence when they're older without being a taxi service... No-one needs loads of space. Just get de-cluttering!

lowlandLucky · 30/01/2020 16:32

It is simple, work out how many hours of you and your Husbands lives are going to be lost to a commute over the next tens years, than ask if you are happy never getting those days back. You will have your answer

Chillicheese123 · 30/01/2020 16:34

At the moment a long commute is killing my dp!!! We are seriously thinking of selling up selling half our stuff and downsizing, a big house isn’t worth it for the hideousness of today’s traffic !

Mamabear88 · 30/01/2020 16:41

100% would go for the short commute, smaller house option if it were me.

ivykaty44 · 30/01/2020 16:50

hideousness of today’s traffic !

It’s going to get more congested, what takes 20 minutes today could well take 30 minutes in 5 years

Our town has built 1700 new homes and another 2000 are being built with every dwelling it seems there is a car so more cars make travel longer by car. Unless you can commute by train or bike which isn’t lots of people queued up

agonyauntie2020 · 30/01/2020 17:13

Is it too outing OP to say what country you're in? Curious about size and quality of new builds there relative to UK. Is UK smaller/thinner walls/more packed in etc?

BlouseAndSkirt · 30/01/2020 23:43

It’s going to get more congested, what takes 20 minutes today could well take 30 minutes in 5 years

And many of the answers on this thread demonstrate why, in advocating that it is better for the OP and her DH between them to spend an additional 2 hours a day with a car in the road, burning petrol. An additional 40 hours a month of an engine burning fuel on a road. Because one ‘couldn’t possibly live in a terrace’.